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If you’re an involved fan of lesbian or sapphic media, you probably already know this: sapphic fans love couples with significant height differences (or in some cases, even insignificant ones). The most recent example of this is from the new series A League of Their Own. According to my calculations, Greta (D’arcy Carden) is approximately five inches taller than her love interest, Carson (Abbi Jacobson). Fans immediately latched on to this aspect of their relationship, and it was even commented on by another character in the show (see above). 

Greta and Carson are far from the only example of this phenomenon. Fans of Kate and Lucy from NCIS: Hawaii love to comment on their height difference (which is about six inches), and it makes great fodder for fanfiction. On YouTube, you can find videos like 10 Best Lesbian & WLW Height Difference Ships!, and I’ve also come across articles like Things We Love: Couples With Height Differences, and An Ode to the Height Difference in ‘Happiest Season.’ There have been real-life lesbian couples who have become popular in part due to their height differences, including basketball player Sedona Prince and her (now ex) girlfriend Rylee LeGlue. And we mustn't forget the famous meme of the tall woman lifting up the shorter woman and pushing her against the wall. (The image is originally from a pornographic film, which I think gives you a sense of the sexual undercurrent that runs through some of these infatuations.)

Clearly, there’s a bit of an obsession here, and I wanted to see if I could get to the bottom of it. When I explained to my friend how thirsty fans are obsessed with Greta and Carson’s height difference, he jokingly summed up the phenomenon by saying “when you’re so horny you start getting into phenotypes.” Frankly, that’s the best and (funniest) explanation I’ve ever heard, and I could probably just stop this article right here. But I’ve never been one to take the easy way out, so I thought I’d continue down this road a little further.

mar. KACY SOFT GIRLFRIENDS ERA @_mayabishop

kate & lucy's height difference is something so personal to me #kacy

March 31st 2022

32 Retweets159 Likes

There are probably some biological reasons why people of all genders have preferences about the height of their partner, but frankly, I’m not really interested in scientific explanations about gender and sexuality. I have no use for biological essentialism, and anyways, I’m more interested in hearing about how people feel, in their own words. 

With that in mind, I took to the great wide internet to consider my queries. When I asked about height differences on Reddit, I got several similar responses. Speaking in terms of real-life dating, a few people noted that the idea of protection comes to mind. A taller person might find a shorter person cute and feel the need to protect her, while a shorter person might enjoy the idea of a taller person being powerful and able to take charge. One respondent thought this attraction to height differences among sapphics is a result of being raised in heteronormative environments and absorbing ideas about straight relationships.

Another user noted that height difference is just one example of the kinds of dichotomies within a pairing that they (and many others) find appealing. “I'm also a punk goth while my nesting partner is a cute coffeeshop looking girl,” they explained. It’s extremely common to see lesbian and sapphic fans emphasizing these types of differences in regards to their favorite “ships.” I’ve written about the lesbian trope of The Shy One and the Confident One before, and I think the interest in age-gap couples or middle-aged women more broadly can fall into this category of difference as well.

When I asked about height differences on Twitter, a very astute friend of mine noted that the idea of height differences is a common theme in fandom and fanfiction more broadly. The reason for this, she argued, is because a lot of fanfiction draws inspiration from the romance genre, in which height differences are highly emphasized as a means to highlight a power dynamic. The suggestion that fanfiction and romantic media in general are indebted to (straight) romance novels makes a lot of sense, especially when you consider the fact that romance is often regarded as the most popular genre of literature. Such an argument might seem to align with the notion that all of this stems from the norms of straight culture, which might be troubling to some. 

However, when it comes to lesbian and sapphic media, there is often an explicit focus on exploring power dynamics and difference in a subversive of thoughtful way, whereas such dynamics might be implicit or naturalized in certain types of straight media. (Though romance novels may be an exception.) The best example of this is Portrait of a Lady on Fire, which is quite literally about the dissolution of hierarchy and the search for true equality within a relationship. But of course, not everything can be Portrait of a Lady on Fire, and most explorations of power dynamics are not all that deep, nor do they necessarily need to be. 

So does it matter that these ideas may have come from straight culture? Does any of this even matter at all? In the grand scheme of things, no, this does not matter very much. And as for the connection to other, more normative ideas – not everything has to be subversive or original, no matter how much we might want it to be. Sometimes, things are just kinky. And other times, things just feel right, or, as one Twitter user described it they “feel cozy” or “organic.” It’s really not that serious, even if seeing a tall woman next to a short woman might give us heart palpitations every now and again. Doctors, keep scrolling – we’re fine.