[Inverted Passion] Never ask your friends or family if they like your idea

Never ask your friends or family if they like your idea

By Paras Chopra on Oct 09, 2022 04:22 am

People are generally nice in person. You’d know this if you have ever gone to parties where everyone is super nice to others but as soon as the party is over, they start gossiping about the ones who’ve left. Very rarely would anyone tell a person at the party that they look like a clown (while often thinking in their head of the same).

This tendency of people not to tell honestly what they have in mind misleads entrepreneurs when they seek feedback on their idea. Even if the idea is obviously flawed, in general, people won’t tell that to an entrepreneur’s face. This means, if you’re an entrepreneur, you rarely get to hear why your idea sucks.

Combine this tendency of people to avoid giving negative feedback with the tendency of listeners to seek confirmatory feedback and you have a recipe for failure. The problem worsens when feedback is sought from close ones. Friends and family will never want to offend you, so they would go to great lengths to justify why your idea is a bright one. The more a person is close to you, the more the person will rationalize. But what you want is truth, not fabricated reasons.

There are two more problems with asking for feedback from non-experts (such as family or friends).

First, a common person neither knows enough about entrepreneurship, nor knows enough about a specific market to be able to give you the insight that you might be seeking.
Second, some people with a big ego interpret you seeking feedback as a sign of their superiority and would likely tell you why the idea will never work. By pointing out (sometimes obvious) flaws, they feel great about themselves, which is what their ego desires.

So, net-net, when it comes to feedback, what matters is who you ask feedback from. In fact, seeking feedback from everyone around you can backfire because you’ll likely latch on to positive feedback while ignoring the negative feedback.

You want to seek feedback from someone who is honest, is an expert in your target market and doesn’t have a big ego.

Such people are rare, but that’s why you have to be selective in deciding whose feedback to act upon.

Remember: not all feedback is worthwhile. It matters who you ask feedback from.

This essay is part of my book on mental models for startup founders.

Have any comments? Email me.

Follow @paraschopra

Receive new essays via email (~once a week)
/>
/>

The post Never ask your friends or family if they like your idea appeared first on Inverted Passion.

Read in browser »

Recent Articles:

Always seek disconfirmatory evidence
Map is not the territory
You’re probably not a good leader (because being that is hard)
Notes from the book “The Shallows”
How to change habits

Copyright © 2022 Inverted Passion, All rights reserved.
You are receiving this email because you opted in via our website.

Our mailing address is:

Inverted Passion

1104 KLJ Tower

Netaji Subhah Place

Delhi, 110034

India

Add us to your address book

Want to change how you receive these emails?
You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list.

Older messages

[Inverted Passion] Always seek disconfirmatory evidence

Monday, September 12, 2022

Here's a new post on InvertedPassion.com Always seek disconfirmatory evidence By Paras Chopra on Sep 11, 2022 12:36 am Thinking is expensive for an animal – our brain consumes almost 20% of the

[Inverted Passion] Map is not the territory

Monday, August 29, 2022

Here's a new post on InvertedPassion.com Map is not the territory By Paras Chopra on Aug 28, 2022 02:55 am Imagine you are tasked with making a map of the world. How would you go about it? Think

[Inverted Passion] You’re probably not a good leader (because being that is hard)

Monday, August 8, 2022

Here's a new post on InvertedPassion.com You're probably not a good leader (because being that is hard) By Paras Chopra on Aug 07, 2022 01:47 am Most entrepreneurs believe that they're good

[Inverted Passion] Notes from the book “The Shallows”

Monday, August 1, 2022

Here's a new post on InvertedPassion.com Notes from the book “The Shallows” By Paras Chopra on Jul 31, 2022 02:24 am Just finished the book that's often called a deeper, and a more

[Inverted Passion] How to change habits

Tuesday, July 26, 2022

Here's a new post on InvertedPassion.com How to change habits By Paras Chopra on Jul 26, 2022 02:53 am What's the most effective way to change habits? I've been diving deep into this topic

Don’t be the dog

Sunday, December 10, 2023

24 hours left to make 2024 hours count Hi Have you heard the story about the moaning dog? It goes a little something like this… A man sees a dog laying in the middle of the street, moaning. “Why is

What's 🔥 in Enterprise IT/VC #371

Saturday, December 9, 2023

Back to First Principles Building Startups from Inception, hands on keyboard ⌨️ - get the Google Doc now ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

🗞 What's New: An email sequence for your Product Hunt launch

Saturday, December 9, 2023

Also: Monetizing a newsletter! ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

48 hrs left for 75% off

Saturday, December 9, 2023

Skill Up In 2024 Hi There's less than 48 hours left for you to get mentored on how to build an Amazon store from scratch at the lowest price we'll ever offer it at. This is your chance to

Stinky cheese, legendary VCs, and Apple (seemingly) takes the hammer to Beeper Mini

Saturday, December 9, 2023

View in browser Vinod Khosla -- the legendary VC who is lately in the headlines for gambling big on OpenAI when it first transitioned to a for-profit company -- is coming to our StrictlyVC event in San

When that “weakness” is really a huge advantage

Friday, December 8, 2023

Plus a new episode of Design Review! This Week at YC December 8th, 2023 When you're an early stage startup founder in a world of mega companies, it's easy to see your team's size of just

top AI trends

Friday, December 8, 2023

it's been an explosive year for artificial intelligence. here's what our experts are betting on next. Hi there, It's been an explosive year for AI. So our experts went live to share the

10words: Top picks from this week

Friday, December 8, 2023

Today's projects: Intellyverse • Kloud Chat • Absence Wall • Mail A Picture • Dittofeed • Plus AI Market Research • DareToGrow • GPTs Hunter • Zilliz • DivusX • DataSquirrel AI • ClevopyAI 10words

The #1 Amazon Secret

Friday, December 8, 2023

(it's worth millions) Hi The last few days, we've been talking about the top product categories you can sell on Amazon in 2024. But instead of giving you more ideas, I'm just going to tell

A crazy rumor

Friday, December 8, 2023

Plus, what you should know about seller financing ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌