She Dares To Say - #25: Authenticity Arena – No. 10
This content is free, but it takes time to create and upload each piece. If you enjoy this project would like to support it, please consider becoming a paid subscriber of ‘She Dares to Say’. If you would prefer to make a one-off donation, feel free to send a contribution via PayPal. You can also show your enjoyment without spending £££, by liking, commenting or sharing 😃 [Image description: Text: ‘Authenticity Arena No. 10’ on a navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke highlighted segment] Almaz note: Please do listen to the audio extract, while simultaneously following the text transcription, as it makes for a richer experience. ‘L’ – 15:41mins Yeah, I remember seeing, like, an older girl at a campsite and just having this, like, overwhelming… and my whole body was like pffhfff with a really strong pull. I had no understanding of what that meant. And I don’t think I realised that… Like, I genuinely don’t think I realised that girls could be attracted to girls in a way that was real. Almaz – 16:29mins ‘L’ – 16:29mins Almaz – 16:31mins ‘L’ – 16:22mins Almaz – 16:41mins ‘L’ – 16:42mins Almaz – 16:54mins ‘L’ – 16:54mins Almaz – 17:03mins ‘L’ – 17:10mins I think there’s a lot of internalised… I don’t even know what the word for it is, but I think I’ve still got some work to do to recognise that my attraction to women is just as valid as my attraction to other people. Because there’s so much internalised and discrediting and repressing of that. So, it’s not something that I shared with anyone at the time. And I don’t think I’ve really… I don’t think I’ve shared it, generally. Maybe to two people in my life that that was my first feeling of attraction; serious attraction. Almaz – 17:59mins ‘L’ – 18:04mins Almaz – 18:26mins ‘L’ – 18:38mins Almaz – 18:56mins ‘L’ – 18:56mins Almaz – 19:08mins ‘L’ – 19:08mins Almaz – 19:22mins ‘L’– 19:22mins Almaz – 19:30mins Almaz – 19:52mins ‘L’ – 19:52mins Almaz – 19:56mins ‘L’ – 20:20mins Almaz – 20:21mins ‘L’ – 20:32mins And this is not a very, like, popular take, d’you know what I mean, like? Because I know there’s now this culture of being like, “Wooo!” like, celebrating particularly that female pop icons from that era. Obviously, it’s not their fault, but as, like, a kid I would, like, obsessively process the, kind of, sexual scripts I was given by pop music, particularly. And the main lessons that I learned from them was, like, you have to look a certain way and you’re passive. If you can be, like, consumed by men or appreciated by men, you’ll, kind of, be alright. Like, you'll be safe. Which is so fucked up [scoffs]. That’s really fucked up. So I think, like, we don’t talk enough about how, like, disgusting the sexual scripts were that we were getting from the music we were listening to, to be honest. It doesn’t quite go with the, like, “Woo”, you know, “let’s celebrate up pop artists, like, the two things are a bit in conflict. Almaz – 22:00mins ‘L’ – 22:15mins Almaz – 22:16mins ‘L’ – 22:28mins Almaz – 22:28mins ‘L’ – 22:36mins Almaz – 23:15mins [both chuckle] Absolutely. Okay, so, “How old were you when you first had sex with someone for the first time?” You’ve put 16. The circumstances of that? Did you feel like you had agency in the situation, and it was the choice of both of you? Or did you feel like it was a societal pressure to do the sex? ‘L’ – 23:50mins Almaz – 23:56mins ‘L’ – 23:56mins Almaz – 24:32mins ‘L’ – 24:32mins Almaz – 24:49mins ‘L’ – 24:49mins Almaz – 25:07mins ‘L’ – 25:07mins Almaz – 25:14mins ‘L’ – 25:21mins Almaz – 25:54mins ‘L’ – 25:54mins Almaz – 26:25mins ‘L’ – 26:26mins Almaz – 26:27mins ‘L’ – 26:27mins Almaz – 26:28mins ‘L’ – 26:28mins Almaz – 26:38mins ‘L’ – 26:38mins Almaz – 26:56mins ‘L’ – 27:35mins Almaz – 27:37mins [both laugh] [Image description: White speech box with black border shadows. Black text ‘As part of my research for my book, I’m running an anonymous online sexuality survey’. Dark orange text ‘bit.ly/ao_sexsurvey’. Black text ‘Anyone over 18 can fill it in, wherever you are in the world.’ Picture of coloured rectangles placed at angles with black border shadows. White text ‘Do you have guilt or shame around desire, sex or pleasure? Why/why not? Do you support compulsory sex and relationships education?’ on top rectangle] [Image description: Text ‘POSTSCRIPT’ on a navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke] The ‘POSTSCRIPT’ segment for paid subscribers will drop on Wednesday 9 November. To receive this extra mailout, you’ll need to upgrade to a paid subscription. [Image description: Text ‘PRODUCED BY’ on navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke] Available for commissions. Info via almazohene.com/contact-faqs. This content is free, but it takes time to create and upload each piece. If you enjoy this project would like to support it, please consider becoming a paid subscriber of ‘She Dares to Say’. If you would prefer to make a one-off donation, feel free to send a contribution via PayPal. You can also show your enjoyment without spending £££, by liking, commenting or sharing 😃 You’re a free subscriber to She Dares To Say. For the full experience, become a paid subscriber. |
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#24: Authenticity Arena – No. 09
Wednesday, October 5, 2022
'K', 31, heterosexual, Black British Caribbean, woman, (cis), single London
#23: Authenticity Arena – No. 08
Wednesday, September 7, 2022
Listen now (11 min) | 'J', 33, bisexual, Mixed-race (Indian and white British) woman (cis), single, Brighton
#22: Authenticity Arena – No. 07
Wednesday, August 3, 2022
Listen now (15 min) | 'H', 37, queer, white British, woman (cis), married, London
#21: Authenticity Arena – No. 06
Wednesday, July 6, 2022
Listen now (5 min) | 'G', 48, straight, Mauritian British, male (cis), single, London
#20: ‘The Final Strife’ by Saara El-Arifi
Thursday, June 23, 2022
Listen now (8 min) | In which I chat to a childhood friend about her debut novel...
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