Growth without feeling you're not enough 💗

Hi Reader,

How do you feel about self improvement, self help books, and personal growth?

I’ve had my ups and downs with it over the years, from obsessively reading all of the books/articles to rejecting it completely, and I’ve landed somewhere in the middle.

Lately, I’ve been thinking deeply about the world of self improvement and how it’s integrated into our lives as artists. Questions like these keep coming up:

How much self improvement do we really need, what’s the motivation behind it, and why?

Perhaps your desire to improve yourself comes from feeling like you're not good enough and you need to transform yourself into someone better, more worthy, etc.

Perhaps that desire comes from enjoying the process of growth and the fun of learning new things.

(Probably both of these things happen to you at different times - it’s a spectrum.)

As you may have gathered, I’m all about personal growth, but with a healthy dose of skepticism toward the self-help industry, which profits off of telling you how you need to be better. It exploits perfectionism and your desire to improve by making you feel as though you’re not enough as you are right now.

Leaning too heavily on other people’s ideas about self improvement discourages your own inner knowing about what's right for you. That’s why my approach as a coach includes making suggestions and invitations like "This might be helpful for you. You might want to try that,” and allowing you to choose what feels right.

Also, trying to fix all of your problems via someone else telling you what to do wipes away a lot of interesting complexity. Fitting yourself into the uncomfortable box of the perfect self-help inspired person could make it hard to be as genuinely, multifaceted-ly “you" as possible.

Being an artist requires that we stay true to ourselves AND continual practice and improvement, so how do you engage in self improvement without turning it into a flaw or feeling that you are fundamentally lacking?

First, I'm going to look at the name of my podcast, Being A Whole Person (where I go deeper on this topic in the latest episode). 

You're not just an artist/musician/actor/writer/maker/<insert your own label(s) here>. You're a whole person, with various roles, relationships, needs, etc. 

We need to look at all of that stuff in order to feel whole, and in order to have the energy to make the art that we want to make - it’s all integrated!

We are always on the journey of walking this line between "I want to be better," and "I'm also enough right now." 

Practicing our skills as artists forces us to reckon with that, and we’ll end up on each side of the line at different times.

We're always practicing, whether literally practicing our skills, or practicing how we're viewing and speaking to ourselves.

When there's something that you want to do or improve at, but you haven't, sometimes that can bring up negative feelings. If it does, I love adding the word "yet”.

"I haven't done that yet" introduces the possibility and the intention that you’re still working on it, you’re in process, and that’s okay. 

It doesn’t have to be a problem, just a neutral fact, and possibly an inspiration to take the next step.

You’re also allowed to have negative feelings about not having done that thing - it’s okay to feel them and let them pass through. But, as long as we’re alive, we're never really done, right?

Saying, "I'm never done. There's always more to learn!” can come with some overwhelm, but it can also be really freeing. It's such a gift to know that we're never done and that we always get to keep practicing.

Wherever you land with your opinions on self help books and personal growth, my wish for you is that you’re able to approach your desire to learn and grow from a place of trusting that you have your own answers inside.

If you start to notice a lot of outside messages influencing you more than the internal ones, again, you get to keep practicing! 

Try recalibrating your compass to point inward again, whether that’s through tuning out input for a bit, or asking yourself what you know to be true.

You can trust that you actually know what's right for you, even if it’s not immediately apparent. 

I fully believe in your ability to keep digging for your best answers, and I’m here to help guide you along the way - please feel free to reach out if you’d like my support!

How do you feel about self improvement? Any favorite books or articles to share? I'd love to hear any reflections you may have!

Stay well, my friends - I'm always rooting for you. My inbox is always open, so please feel free to reach out if I can help in any way. 

I always love hearing from you!

Have a lovely week! ⁠

Rebecca

• Woman Forbidden From Being A Musician As A Child Releases Album at 95 and Wins Latin Grammy - Angela Alvarez's story is so inspiring, and great evidence that it's never too late to pursue your dreams!
• "Romanticizing Your Life" Can Be A Legit Form of Mindfulness - I am fully on board with appreciating the little things - your gratitude practice can look however you want it to!
• If you haven't seen it yet, this video of a baby elephant interrupting a reporter in Kenya is 1000% delightful and will definitely improve your day. 

• E69: Self Improvement, Artistic Growth + Feeling You're Good Enough
  

As artists, we are constantly practicing and growing, whether we feel negatively or positively about it, or bouncing between both! It can be tricky to continually pursue personal and artistic growth while also believing that you are enough as you are.

I share about my journey with self improvement, from reading all the self help books to trusting my inner guidance and everywhere in between, along with tips for embracing incremental and sustainable change and trusting your own wisdom.

• E68: Why Should You Share Your Art?

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