Good morning. Let’s basketball.

The Funeral Games of Patroclus, Jacques-Louis David, 1778

The NBA is back with yet another Christmas Day quintuple header on Sunday. There are a few new wrinkles this year. First, in the United States, all five games will be simulcast on ABC and ESPN. There are no gaps bigger than a half-hour between games, so you can let the T.V. ride on one channel, unlike most years. Second, ESPN is producing an alternative simulcast starring Stephen A. Smith for Knicks vs. Sixers.

In any case, here’s a viewer’s guide to the Christmas Day lineup via the longheld tradition of Ranking The Things.

5. Lakers at Mavericks, 2:30 PM ET

Reasons to watch: Luka Doncic is almost always a pleasure to watch, except when a player from the other team has so much as breathed on him and he is lobbying for a foul call while the other team plays 5 vs. 4. LeBron is only 700ish points away from breaking Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, so it’s conceivable he could gun for it in this game. The Lakers could find a new and impressive way to lose a game, like they did on Friday. It’s like scorigami, but for losses. L-igami.

Reasons to skip: The Lakers are in 13th place. The Mavericks are a total bummer when Luka doesn’t have the ball in his hands on offense. Patrick Beverley.

4. Grizzlies at Warriors, 8 PM ET

Reasons to watch: Ja Morant is an absolute delight. This will be only the second game this season with Morant, Jaren Jackson Jr. and Desmond Bane all active. No team has more fun when winning by 30+ than the Grizzlies. Jordan Poole or Klay Thompson could do some stuff. The James Wiseman experience is on the table.

Reasons to skip: This is probably non-competitive with Steph Curry injured. Draymond Green is likely to try to muck up the game and explore inside of the Grizzlies’ heads. The James Wiseman experience is on the table.

3. Suns at Nuggets, 10:30 PM ET

Reasons to watch: A battle between two Western powers. Nikola Jokic is so brilliant and WEIRD with the basketball; a true pleasure to have in class. The Nuggets have Michael Porter Jr. back and don’t really play defense, which is great for entertainment value. Chris Paul. Maybe Devin Booker.

Reasons to skip: Maybe not Devin Booker. If he plays this is a great game to prep for. If he doesn’t this is probably a Nuggets blow-out.

2. 76ers at Knicks, 12 PM ET

Reasons to watch: A Knicks game on Christmas that truly matters! New York might actually be good (8-2 in their last 10)! Meanwhile, the Sixers look legitimately great lately (seven straight wins) with Joel Embiid leading the league in scoring and James Harden dropping tons of dimes. A real throwback slugfest basketball game is on the table.

Reasons to skip: A real throwback slugfest basketball game is on the table. Two of the lowest-pace teams in the league.

1. Bucks at Celtics, 5 PM ET

Reasons to watch: The top two teams in the East, and the two best records in the entire NBA. The Celtics have maybe the league’s best duo in Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown. The Bucks have maybe the league’s best player in Giannis Antetokounmpo. Familiarity breeds contempt, and these teams have faced each other 14 times in the past two years (Boston leads 8-6).

Reasons to skip: No notes. Great teams with legitimate stakes (spiritual and real). Basketball is great!

Teams We Wish Were Playing On Christmas

Five games is probably the maximum number of non-overlapping NBA games you can schedule on a single day, and there are no obvious teams for removal if you presume that LeBron James could be playing on the 2011-12 Charlotte Bobcats and the league would still put it on national TV. But it would have been cool to see the New Orleans Pelicans, Brooklyn Nets (I know I know) and Cleveland Cavaliers on Christmas. Next year!

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Scores

THURSDAY

Spurs 117, Pelicans 126 — 40-8-9 from C.J. McCollum to help end the Pels’ losing streak.

Wizards 112, Jazz 120

FRIDAY

Spurs 113, Magic 133

Clippers 114, Sixers 119 — Both Kawhi Leonard and Paul George played at least 33 minutes, so this counts as a great win for Philadelphia. Joel Embiid put up 44 but slightly more impressive is James Harden with 20 points, 11 rebounds and a career high 21 assists.

Pistons 105, Hawks 130

Timberwolves 109, Celtics 121

Bucks 100, Nets 118 — As encouraging a win the Nets have had this season, even with the Bucks missing Khris Middleton. Ben Simmons with 12-11-8, Kevin Durant with 24, Nic Claxton putting up 19. Brooklyn’s rolling.

Raptors 118, Cavaliers 107 — RAPTORS BACK.

Chris Fedor @ChrisFedor

#Cavs Donovan Mitchell on the Raptors: "When you foul the whole game -- and they're really good at it -- they can foul the whole game and the refs aren’t going to call it on each possession. You gotta give them credit. They're physical ... They kicked our ass"

4:00 AM ∙ Dec 24, 2022

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That’s what I’m talking about.

Bulls 118, Knicks 117 — Nothing but classics from these two teams.

What an impossible collapse from the Knicks, missing all four free throws in the final 66 seconds to lose the game. What’s the worst part of this? The missed Quentin Grimes free throws up three with a minute left? The missed Jalen Brunson free throws up one with 6.4 seconds left? The offensive rebound given up with 17 seconds left up three? The foul on DeMar DeRozan on the eventual game-winner, which allowed the Bulls to ice the game with an intentional miss that ended up reviewed? Lots to hate here. Lots to hate.

Pacers 111, Heat 108 — I haven’t been looking but I presume at least 1,000 Pacers fans and/or Kevin Durants tagged Wally Szczerbiak’s Twitter handle with Brunson’s missed free throws and this clip, a Tyrese Haliburton game-winner.

NBA @NBA

TYRESE HALIBURTON CALLED GAME 🗣️ PACERS WIN

3:26 AM ∙ Dec 24, 2022

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That capped off a career night for the soon-to-be All-Star. He’s really, really good.

Mavericks 112, Rockets 106 — Luka Doncic scored 50, you can watch him do that here. But I really just want to share this dribble move with you.

Gigantes del Basket @GIGANTESbasket

🪄🧙‍♂️ Esta jugada de @luka7doncic

9:20 AM ∙ Dec 24, 2022

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You can almost see Alperen Sengun’s brain spasm trying to figure out where Luka is taking the ball. Just magic.

Pelicans 128, Thunder 125 (OT) — OKC came back from down 20+ to force overtime, but the Pels held on without Zion Williamson for the second straight game. Zion is in the protocols, by the way. 44 in the loss for Shai Gilgeous-Alexander.

Blazers 107, Nuggets 120 — Michael Porter Jr. is back, and Nikola Jokic remains a basketball god. Nuggets tied for No. 1 in the West with the …

Grizzlies 125, Suns 100 — … Grizzlies!, who got Desmond Bane back and had their top three players on the court together for the first time this season. (Yes, they are tied for No. 1 with Jaren Jackson Jr. missing 15 games and Bane missing 18.) Ja Morant and Bane combined to shoot 8/27 from the floor in this one … and the Grizzlies still beat the Suns by 25 in Phoenix. In full disclosure, Devin Booker did not play.

Wizards 125, Kings 111 — Just as bad as the Hornets loss for Sacramento, given that the ‘Zards are on a long trip and were on a SLC-Sac back-to-back, basically a free win from the schedule makers. Alas, the Kings’ defense is not at all consistent.

Hornets 134, Lakers 130 — Look at the score.

Misha Konygin @gdfactoryclips

Pat Bev 😂

5:56 AM ∙ Dec 24, 2022

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uhhhhhhh

Nice Kicks @nicekicks

In the final seconds of the Lakers/Hornets game, LeBron’s shoe flies off to lose the game 😳😨 https://t.co/3NXUBOcKG7

6:13 AM ∙ Dec 24, 2022

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I’m trying not to dwell too much on the 13th place Los Angeles Lakers but are we seriously going to have to watch one of the three greatest players of all-time play out the string for a doomed, bad team like this? Anthony Davis has a stress fracture and is out indefinitely. I’m going to say it: for the good of the league and society, the Lakers should be forced to trade LeBron.

Meanwhile, the Hornets are starting to look like just a mediocre team instead of the worst team in the league since LaMelo Ball has returned. So cue up the Miles Bridges contract talks, I guess. Bridges pleaded no contest for domestic violence in November and won’t face jail time, but a serious NBA suspension is coming. It could very well be the rest of the season — the Hornets have 51 games left, and I don’t think a 50-game suspension is off the table for a felony plea. I really hope his kids and their mother have every bit of support they need.

Be excellent to each other, and stay safe this weekend.