RadReads​ - Can you have too much “alone time”

Be careful what you wish for.  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

Hi friend,

Hope you're having a rad weekend and that you enjoy time to reflect on this upcoming MLK Day.

This week, I wrote about the chilling reality of how much "alone time" we spend in our lives - and how we can spend more time with friends now.

We’ve also got exciting news. We just opened enrollment for the 12th cohort of Supercharge your Productivity. It’s the only course that connects the pursuit of productivity to life’s larger questions so you can design a system that works for you.

You’ll learn how to:

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  • Invest in improving your mind, career and relationships

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Can you have too much alone time?

"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone," wrote the French philosopher Blaise Pascal.

Well in that case, humanity's problems should get resolved when we turn 39.

This graph floored me.

I drew my finger up from my age (43) to see what was in store for me.

(I'm sure you will too.)

And age 39 seems to hold the crucial inflection point. It's when your alone time goes "hockey stick."

It's the maximum (yup, the global maximum) of time spent with children.

(I can attest, we got the girls a Nintendo Switch for Christmas and my alone time has already gone up.)

Now for someone who watches one Netflix series per year, I am licking my chops for a couple years of increased alone time.

But staring down the barrel of the 85 year trend - yikes.

While this data covers all genders, it's no secret that men are not great at maintaining friendships.

I suspect it's because once you remove the staples of bachelor parties, Monday Night Football and beer pong - we don't see the point of hanging out.

Or maybe it's because our brute-ish sensibilities prevent us from expressing emotion and vulnerability that define long-lasting friendships.

Or it might be because as primary breadwinners (often, but definitely not always), we drop into the "career at all costs" mindset.

Only to wake up at retirement wondering where all our friends went.

Thankfully, I stumbled upon a "hack" to help deepen friendships. A tactic that spanned having young kids, the pandemic lockdowns and moving cross-country.


Here are this week's top reads:

// one

Envy is the cancer of the soul

11 minutes | More to That

Has social media turned us into insatiable and envious clout-chasing junkies? With his deft and introspection, Lawrence Yeo takes us through fine line between envy and inspiration and our dangerous relationships with our “rivals.” And if you’re looking to learn how to frame stories so that people care, he’s got a free workshop on January 19th. I’ll be there!

Read the post

// two

Shopify says no to meetings

2 minutes | Bloomberg

Last year, Shopify cut costs. This year, it’s cutting meetings with a “calendar purge.” CEO Tobi Lutke thinks meetings are a waste of time. They’re a distraction from productive work. Looks like more companies are surfing the wave of “asynchronous work.” We definitely are asynch-first.

Read the article

// three

How to balance meaning and money

7 minutes | Every

The quiet quitting, act your wage and the great resignation memes show that our relationship with work is being redefined. Grappling with work’s role in our lives helps us figure out what we care about. The best question isn’t whether you’re pro-work or anti-work but how you can fit work into your vision of a life well-lived. What does the science say about this? Intrinsic motivation is most important. Valuing time > valuing money. And my favorite, satisficing tends to be more fulfilling than maximizing.

Read the post

// four

7 questions to ask after layoffs

6 minutes | Charter

Layoffs are touching all corners of the economy. What’s the best way to proceed after being laid off? First, treat yourself like a person who just experienced a traumatic event and take care of your emotions around it. Next, figure out what you need. Shift your mindset from seeking interviews to asking yourself, “how do I have more interesting conversations?”

Read the post

// five

52 things I learned in 2023

3 minutes | Medium

A fascinating, somewhat random collection of learnings from 2022. Some that stood out? A major growth industry of 2022 was dog buttons (dogs literally pushing buttons to ask for things). If you want a question answered on the Internet, post a wrong answer first. A man’s partner’s competitiveness increases their future income, whereas their own competitiveness makes little difference.

Read the post


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Below the Fold

LAST WEEK'S MOST READ

And finally, AI can help you fake like you’re paying attention on a Zoom call.

With gratitude,

Khe

PS The LifeOS is your home base for personal productivity — one app to rule them all. It’s a 100% turnkey system to help you get on top of things and in control of your life.

PPS Refer 2 friends and get the Weekly Review Cheatsheet. Here is your personal RadReferral link: https://sparklp.co/9ac1b50d

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