I have often been told that I am a calm person and I am composed enough to do things. There is also a feeling of never being stressed and mostly being chill. I do agree with this idea and when I did a poll on instagram to see if people would be interested in knowing what I do to maintain composure and be chilled, I was surprised to see that a lot of people do want to know what to do and how to make sure that your thoughts and emotions do not overpower you.

Please note that this is a personal essay I am writing which is accumulated from experiences, ideas, and things that I have read and witnessed. This is no substitute for professional help or therapy. Try the things if you feel that they are sensible enough and would not trigger you. If you are in the field of psychology and happen to be a counsellor or an expert, please point out if anything that I have mentioned is wrong or misinformed, I would be happy to correct it. This is going to be a long read. The series shall have 3 major sections- Basics, Thought/emotion management, and tricks and tips. For your convenience, each paragraph and subpoint would have a summary that you can read if you are a lazy reader but it is recommended that you read the full essay and appreciate the efforts that I have put into it. You can skip to a part that you feel like but make sure that you always go through the basics before jumping to anything. Here we go-

You can check out a slideshow and a shorter version of this on instagram-

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A post shared by Harsh Thakkar (@blahblahblaharsh)

Basics-

The idea to have supreme control over the mind and body is not something that can only be achieved by being a saint or some supremely perseverant person. Simple things would make a major difference in your life. So to start with, do make sure that these things are proper in your life-

Nutrition and Water-

I used to drink only milk for breakfast when I was a kid. Milk was considered to be this superfood that can give me every nutrition. Switch to college where I visited a counselor to see why I feel bleh most of the time and she told me that breakfast and food is super important. Now, I have a good breakfast that has a good amount of protein and it is as diverse as it can be. So, how do you make sure that your food intake is balanced without noting down calorie to calorie and being paranoid about it? Well, the simple answer is to have a colorful range in your food. Of course, the colors should be natural. If you have a diverse set of colors in your food, you would get nutrients in the right proportions. For example, eggs and curd are white, tomatoes are red, brinjal is purple, bananas are yellow, capsicum and coriander are green, carrots are orange, etc. If you have this set everyday in some form or the other, you cannot go wrong. And yes, water is important. Some studies would tell you that you need x amount of liters to be healthy but you should drink enough that you feel hydrated. Any sign or signal from your body that you are dehydrated is probably too late and a dire sign of doing something. Prevent that from happening and have small amounts at regular intervals.

Summary- Nutrition and water affect your biology intensely and can reduce or increase brain power. Drinking water while feeling super sleepy can sometimes even make you feel fresher and reduce sleepiness.

Sleep-

Sleep is directly proportional to how you can think and feel. The lower your sleep, the lower your happiness and control. If you are sleep deprived, you would find it difficult to do anything, forget the herculean task of controlling your thoughts or emotions. A regular bedtime does wonders for your body. Try to stick to it but if you cannot, get enough sleep and compensate in the way you can. Some ideas and tips like controlling all forms of light and sound can help you sleep better. Also, doing things like guided meditation can help you sleep better. Breathing techniques are also there that may help you to relax and sleep faster.

Summary- Sleep is directly influencing everything you need. Ace your sleep and ace your life.

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Exercise-

Exercising is not lifting weights and going to the gym. It can be as simple as going for a 5-minute walk after every 3 hours. The idea is to move your body and give your muscles the liberty to explore the movements that are possible for them. The more movements and exercises you know, the better flexibility you develop. Stretch in whatever way you can. Even a simple hand stretch can do wonders. And if you are an Indian, you might be randomly bowling when you are walking or witnessing people do that. Not a bad idea to keep yourself going!

Summary-Exercise can release happy hormones and help a lot to feel better. Of course, it leads to better health and body too. Exercise can be in any form. Do not be harsh on yourself and set goals like I would reduce 3 kilos in a month when you have not exercised for a while. Do manageable and fun things like doing shava shava whenever you get up from the chair or just jump and try to touch the ceiling or touch your toes without bending your knees.

Temperature-

If you have noticed your body, you get hot when you are angry and when you feel cold, you shiver. Also, you would notice that when the temperature is high, you cannot sleep and would feel uncomfortable. Regulating your body temperature is very important. Remember that we are warm-blooded living beings. So when the heart is beating fast, more blood is flowing through our body. This is why you feel hot when you exercise and the same thing happens when you are angry. Anger is a reaction of you not feeling safe and comfortable with something. It is a sign of discomfort and an alarm that your safety is being compromised so your brain sends signals to the heart to pump up and get ready to run in case the need arises. (Simple funda of heart beats being high when you run and eventually transform from normal to anaerobic heart rate when you are exercising or doing something physically intense for a long period of time.) We can control our temperature to an extent by regulating our heart rate. If we keep it normal, we would not have extensive blood rushing through us and we would not feel angry. This is why slowing down our breath and breathing deeply works when we are angry. Some people also tell you to count to 10 or something and the logic can be that they want your heart rate to be normal before you act or say something on the trigger. It can be used in reverse too by doing exercise and feeling warm in cold. Maybe that is how saints can survive the cold.

Summary- Temperature of the body is vital in controlling our emotions and thoughts. Remember that higher heart rate leads to a higher body temperature and it can lead to anger or fight or flight response. It is also why you feel nervous on stage or panic when something suddenly occurs. Your safety feels compromised. One can regulate the temperature by breathing techniques and in a way, controlling heart rate.


Have a safe place and safe people-

Having a safe place and a set of people you can rely on is a key to making sure that you know where and whom to go in case you feel distressed and out of control. It can be your home but it can also be any place that you love the most and can go and access at any time. The same goes with people. They can be your best friends, family, guide, teacher, or anyone that you feel comfortable with. But yes, it is very important to let them know that you would contact them for a few things and tell them the issues that they would be helping you with. This would also give them the mental space to prepare and be ready for the issue. In case you do not have a set of safe people, there are a lot of places where you can talk to people and share your problems. Simply googling this would give you a lot of answers.

Summary- It is important to have a place where you feel safe and a set of people on whom you can rely at any time. It is a good idea to give them a heads-up about the things that you generally face so that they are well-prepared and ready to help you.

Thus, food and water, sleep, exercise, temperature, and a safe place & people are the basics you need to check for. If you are not getting any of these in a regulated and needed fashion, you are bound to face a lot of problems and regulating emotions and thoughts can be a herculean task and sometimes even impossible. The absence of them can also make you do and feel things that you generally do not.

Continued in part 2.

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