By Olivia Craighead

Believe it or not, it isn't nepotism

If you spied a white plume of smoke arising from Montecito this week, please be aware that that was not a wildfire in the literal sense, but instead an announcement that a new young woman has set the fashion world on fire. This latest so-called It Girl is Apple Martin, the famously fruit-named daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. She sat front row at the Chanel show during Paris Fashion Week, and every fashion-adjacent outlet went wild.

Headlines declared that she was officially a “Chanel girl,” quoting an Instagram post in which professional famous-person friend Derek Blasberg said that Karl Lagerfeld had prophesied the title when Martin was just four years old. Martin has a narrative, connections, and money, all but guaranteeing a pathway to at least low-level influencerdom, but these days that’s not always enough to distinguish someone from the rest of the pack. What does Martin have that sets her apart from the other daughters of famous women? Why is she our new queen? It’s actually quite simple: Her eyes are far apart.

By Claire Carusillo

The fake heiress is developing a show called 'Delvey's Dinner Club' while under house arrest

Taped live from a barricaded bathroom stall in the lobby of the 11 Howard Hotel, it’s Anna Delvey’s talk show! Just kidding, she’s still under house arrest, so production HQ is gonna have to be a soundproof closet in the East Village apartment she’s staying at after being released from ICE custody on a $10,000 bond. Still, quite a chic announcement. Delvey was born to host comped dinner parties and ask invasive questions.

By Tarpley Hitt

Government of the Swifties, by the Swifties, for the Swifties

While Taylor Swift was busy getting snubbed by the Oscars, at least six of her fans were stationed on Capitol Hill, or tuning in online, for the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing on Ticketmaster and Live Nation. They were calling on Congress, per a few cardboard signs, to “break it up” — referring to the two companies’ controversial merger under the Obama administration in 2010, which created, as the New York Times wrote, “a giant in the live entertainment business that still has no equals in its reach or power.”

Tuesday’s hearing, titled “That’s the Ticket: Promoting Competition and Protecting Consumers in Live Entertainment,” was Congress’s response to the ticketing fiasco in November, when a presale for Swift’s “Eras” tour crashed the website and pushed concert ticket prices north of $30,000. After the outcry over the botched sales, it came out that Live Nation Entertainment was under investigation by the Department of Justice for operating as a monopoly.

By Olivia Craighead

The joke is on you if you thought this movie was ever going to happen

There is a whole wide world of Hollywood “what if…” stories. What if Noah Baumbach’s version of The Corrections got greenlit at HBO? What if Gwyneth Paltrow had figured out a way to get The Secret History made? What if they actually let Nicolas Cage play Superman? All of those questions provide a brief moment of wondering what might have been, and usually I think, “Well, that could have been cool.” Today, we have a new one to add to the list: What if Madonna had actually made her biopic with Julia Garner?