“Retirement is when you stop sacrificing today for some imaginary tomorrow. When today is complete, in and of itself, you’re retired.”

– Naval Ravikant, entrepreneur and investor

I spend far more time than I care to admit dreaming about some imaginary future. 

Sometimes it’s a conscious desire and othertimes it is a subconscious but ever-present yearning.

And I suspect that I’m not alone.

Humans, especially the ambitious ones with lofty goals, suffer a disease of feeling they are not yet in real life.

This inner feeling comes to the surface in our language: “Once I get that promotion…”, “I’ll be happy once I find the right person.”, “I just need to buy that house.” which soon turns into “I just need to pay off my mortgage.”, and so on.

Whether we realize it or not, most of us carry around a desire to just arrive already in some future state. And, evolutionarily, this worked pretty damn well for us.

If our brains could trick us into thinking we would find eternal happiness once we kill that woolly mammoth or fill that basket with berries, it meant we would be sufficiently motivated to take the actions we needed to take to survive.

Staying forever future-focused kept us safe and nourished.

But we don’t live in caves anymore. And although a healthy dose of future-focused planning is critical to mapping out the life we want to live and becoming financially secure, too much of it only ensures a permanent state of not having and the suffering that ensues.

Eliminating the bad habit of passively longing for an imaginary future will free up a lot of time and energy. I plan to fill it with proven ways to be happier in the present moment.

Here’s how you can too…

11 Proven Ways To Be Happier (Without Waiting Another Minute)

Way #1: Show gratitude.

Being grateful for the things we have is the most potent happiness-boosting activity there is.

And the practice is really simple. Every night before you go to bed, write down 3 good things that happened that day.

That’s it. This small but profound practice is certain to boost your well-being over time.

However, the reverse is also true.

Keeping a misery log of all the bad things that happened to you will train your brain to see the negative and diminish your happiness.

In addition to practising gratitude on the microscale of today, it’s also important to look back and be grateful for all the things you wanted that you now have.

Don’t just look forward to the great things to come but also reflect on the great things that once seemed so far away that you now have.  

Way #2: Do the things you’re good at.

Doing things that you’re good at increases happy thoughts.

Identify your “signature strengths”―the things you’re uniquely good at―and do them as often as you can.

Spending time doing these types of activities is the key to experiencing a flow state which is that feeling when you become fully immersed in whatever you’re doing.

Way #3: Sleep well, eat healthy, and exercise.

Don’t forget the fundamentals.

Proper sleep, adequate nutrition, and consistent exercise are critical for a healthy body and mind and a happy life.

Way #4: Strive and seek temporary discomfort.

This past weekend I finished reading Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman (which I highly recommend).

In the final pages of the book, he offers 5 questions to come to grips with reality and to start making the most of your finite time.

Here’s the first one:

Where in your life or your work are you currently pursuing comfort, when what’s called for is a little discomfort?

If you follow me on Twitter, you probably know by now that I’m a big fan of pursuing periods of discomfort. This idea was beautifully conveyed in Michael Easter’s book The Comfort Crisis (which I also recommend).

To lead a fulfilling and happy life, it’s critical to set ambitious goals and strive.

Sometimes this means doing things you would rather not do through sheer discipline. But you will always come out on the other side having learned something and grown into a stronger and better version of yourself.

Sitting on the couch and watching TV or endlessly scrolling social media is easy, but it does not bring you joy or make you happy.

Paradoxically, you are far happier and feel far more optimistic about yourself and your future when your mind or body is being challenged.

Doing hard things and mastering skills is difficult in the short-term but fulfilling, satisfying, and happiness-boosting in the long term.

Way #5: Be optimistic to the border of delusion.

Glass half-full optimists are far more likely to live a happy life.

Having an optimistic outlook spills over into every area of our lives due to the positive attributes and emotions it unlocks.

Being optimistic can increase creativity, curiosity, and productivity, help us build and maintain stronger relationships, boost our self-esteem and confidence by directing our focus on past successes instead of dwelling on failures, and much more. 

My parents were right when they said your attitude matters. And as it turns out, optimism is key.

Some studies even report optimism as a key predictor of one’s likelihood of developing cardiovascular disease.

Based on my layman’s knowledge, this makes sense. Optimistic people are better able to cope with adversity and stressful situations which may translate to less cortisol (the “stress hormone”) secretion over the course of their lives.

Sure, pessimism might soften the blow of bad news and make the lows a little less low.

But it’s not worth it.

Way #6: Slow down and savour the small things.

Stop rushing about, slow down, and take time to really enjoy the good things in life. No matter how small.

Savour by reflecting back on happy memories, sharing stories with loved ones, or looking forward to exciting future events.

You can also try to be more present by not letting your mind wander and becoming completely absorbed in the moment.

There will be a last time for everything. A last meal, the last time you talk to a loved one, a last sunrise, the last time you have sex, and a last Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner.

We don’t know when the last one will be, but it’s coming.

Use this as the necessary motivation to slow down and savour more of life. You are only here for a limited time so remind yourself to savour what is important.

Way #7: Small but frequent beats big and intense.

Experiencing lots of little good things throughout your day is the path to happiness. 

Sure, the rare big things like getting married, having a kid, or going on a vacation are all great, but won’t create sustainable long-term happiness day in and day out.

Aim for frequent boosts found in the little things of everyday life rather than anticipating the rare happiness overload.

Way #8: Give selflessly and do kind things for others.

Help others achieve their goals, volunteer, or go out of your way to do something nice for someone else.

These small actions taken today can boost your happiness for the rest of the week.

Helping others brings us joy and giving makes us far happier than receiving.

To sweeten the deal, giving to others first and without expectation creates a feedback loop of kind gestures and happiness in your life due to the positive emotion kindness generates and the reciprocity that often follows.

Way #9: Money is good but many other things are better.

After about $75K per year, money has a minimal impact on happiness.

Or as an economist might say, additional money earned beyond $75K per year has diminishing marginal returns on happiness.

This means that more money will increase happiness but if you want to optimize for maximal happiness, your time and energy are better spent elsewhere (like the other 10 things on this list).

Money is good but wanting money, especially after a certain point or without a purpose, can be bad.

Way #10: Spend as much time as possible with people you like.

Wishing we spent more time with the people we love will be one of the things we regret most.

So, prioritize building strong relationships and spending quality time with your family and friends. 

Share interesting experiences you had and the best parts of your day or week with loved ones and ask them to do the same.

And, when you can, sneak in a compliment. People love compliments more than money or sex.

Introverts: Pushing yourself to be a little extraverted here will do you good.

The happiest people have great social lives and strong relationships.

Way #11: Avoid life’s most common regrets.

We know the 5 most common regrets of the dying:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

3. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

4. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

5. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

Now is the time to take action to ensure none of these come true for you.

Let’s recap. Here are 11 proven ways to be happier (without waiting another minute):

• Way #1: Show gratitude.

• Way #2: Do the things you’re good at.

• Way #3: Sleep well, eat healthy, and exercise.

• Way #4: Strive and seek temporary discomfort.

• Way #5: Be optimistic to the border of delusion.

• Way #6: Slow down and savour the small things.

• Way #7: Small but frequent beats big and intense.

• Way #8: Give selflessly and do kind things for others.

• Way #9: Money is good but many other things are better.

• Way #10: Spend as much time as possible with people you like.

• Way #11: Avoid life’s most common regrets.

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Slow down, find small ways to be happy every day, and remind yourself of your finitude and limited time on this planet as motivation to focus on the things that truly matter.

With much love and gratitude,

Jack