The Opening Tip

• New NBA kid has gone viral 
• This Zion situation seems not good
• J.R. Smith has set the record straight on #SoupGate

1. The OKC Thunder will soon be our overlords

The Oklahoma City Thunder play the Timberwolves tonight for a spot as the 8-seed in the West. Whether they win or not is not all that important in the long run, because: They will soon be our overlords.

One of the best-run teams in one of the least desirable markets has …

• An MVP-type player in Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, who you should truly make an effort to watch if you haven’t yet
• This past year’s No. 2 pick on ice in Chet Holmgren 
• An incredible cast of good young role players: Josh Giddey, Lu Dort, Jalen Williams, Jaylin Williams, etc. 

And, like, every fucking draft pick. They can’t use every one of their 15 first-rounders in the next five years on actual players, but they can package a comically large amount of them for an unhappy (Luka) superstar (Luka) with (Luka) a (Luka) few (Luka) years (Luka) left (Luka) on (Luka) their (Luka) deal (Luka).

The Thunder went 40-42 this year. Their record’s gunna start with a five for the rest of the 2020s.

2. Daily GIF: Diar DeRozan = MVP

Best part of the play-in games so far: Diar DeRozan, DeMar’s daughter, going viral for screaming every time a Raptor player was about to take a free-throw.

Also, it clearly worked: 

• Toronto shot 18-of-36 from the free-throw line, their most missed FTs since 1997

[WATCH: Diar DeRozan yelling compilation]

3. Trivia time

LeBron has played the most playoff games in NBA history. Who’s second?

Answer at the bottom.

4. Lord, these Zion quotes

Zion Williamson, who’s played 29 of a possible 164 games in the last two years, spoke to the media on Tuesday and said a few kinda wild things.

A breakdown:
 

5. We finally have #SoupGate answers

That final LeBron-Cleveland season gave us many iconic moments. The funniest was probably J.R. Smith’s locker room run-in with assistant coach Damon Jones, which ended with Smith throwing what we now can identify as a tomato-based chicken tortilla soup at Jones.

The entire situation has mostly lived in online NBA lore until yesterday, when Smith opened up about it on JJ Redick’s podcast.

From J.R.’s mouth:
 

6.  Quick Hits

• Pelicans fan gets a solid second of two-handed blowjob mimicking on the fancam. 
• DeMar DeRozan on Patrick Beverley: “He sleeps aggressively”
• Ja Morant has filed a countersuit against the teenager he beat up.
• Doc on the Lob City Clippers: “That team was never going to win”
• Mike Brown has now won Coach of the Year two times 14 years apart.

7.  Reads & Pods

• Most intriguing playoff storylines [Bill Simmons Podcast]
• Kevin Durant knows you think he's too sensitive [Fox Sports]
• Michael Jordan was an activist after all [NY Times]
• LeBron and the Lakers have a shot [The Ringer]

Trivia answer: Derek Fisher