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Morning Brew

Masterworks

Good morning. What do very happy people have in common? The Wall Street Journal followed up with the 12% of respondents in a WSJ-NORC survey who called themselves “very happy”  and asked them what they were all about. Here are the traits they share.

  • Companionship: 67% of the happiest people said that marriage was very important to them, compared to 43% of overall respondents.
  • Religion: Two-thirds of very happy people characterized themselves as moderately or very religious. The overall share: less than half.
  • Closer to death: People 60 and over accounted for 44% of the happiest group, but represented 30% of total survey respondents.
  • Gym rats: Fitness was a common interest among very happy people.

What doesn’t seem to matter to being very happy? Political party affiliation or avoiding following politics.

Neal Freyman

MARKETS: YEAR-TO-DATE

Nasdaq

12,072.46

S&P

4,133.52

Dow

33,808.96

10-Year

3.577%

Bitcoin

$27,629.75

BB&B

$0.29

*Stock data as of market close, cryptocurrency data as of 1:00am ET. Here's what these numbers mean.

  • Markets: All three major US indexes finished slightly lower last week, but the primary direction of the stock market has not been up or down…it’s been sideways. Earnings season hasn’t dealt any surprises so far, but that may change with the busiest reporting week yet kicking off today.
 

RETAIL

Bed Bath & Bankrupt

Store closing sale announcement at a Bed Bath & Beyond indoor mall in northern Idaho Don & Melinda Crawford/UCG/Universal Images Group via Getty Images

You have two days to remember where you hoarded your 20%-off Bed Bath & Beyond coupons and redeem them. After limping along in poor financial health for years, the retailer filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection on Sunday and said it would stop accepting its famous coupons on Wednesday.

Bed Bath & Beyond coupons are getting scrapped, and so are the stores that accept them. As part of its bankruptcy and liquidation, the company said it plans to close all of its 360 BB&B locations and its 120 Buybuy Baby stores by June 30—if a last-minute buyer doesn’t rescue it from going out of business.

A bad bet on private labels

You can’t blame this business failure on “economic uncertainty.” Numerous bad decisions by Bed Bath & Beyond management led to the chain’s demise, but the worst own-goal of all was its pivot to private-label products, or items that were made exclusively for Bed Bath & Beyond.

This effort was led by Mark Tritton, a former Target exec installed by activist investors in 2019. Tritton worked private-label magic at Target, releasing dozens of highly profitable Target-only lines that offered a promising roadmap for other retailers to follow.

But when Tritton tried to replicate his Target success at Bed Bath & Beyond, that strategy broke down like a cheap blender. In certain categories like kitchen appliances, brands matter, and shoppers stopped showing up to Bed Bath & Beyond after it swapped out KitchenAid mixers and OXO garlic mincers for its own stuff.

What happens next? A massive going-out-of-business sale matched only by Toys R Us and Circuit City in the last 15 years, Axios notes.

Plus, if you’re one of the many individual investors who piled into Bed Bath & Beyond when it was a trendy meme stock last year, you’ll need to take your medicine and move on. In bankruptcy proceedings, debtholders get prioritized over shareholders, so meme-stock traders will be left holding the bag.

     

TOGETHER WITH MASTERWORKS

Investors earn 325% annualized return here (really)

Masterworks

While the ultra-rich have been banking off this under-the-radar asset for centuries, a group of everyday investors just used it to rake in a whopping 325% annualized gain.

Sounds totally ridiculous? It definitely does. But it’s also 100% true.

The asset was a sculpture offered by the fractional art investment platform Masterworks. After just 36 days, investors profited a 15.4% net gain—a triple-digit return on an annualized basis.

While it’s not common for Masterworks to get a profitable exit that fast, every one of their 13 exits has returned a profit to investors, totaling more than $35 million in payouts.

Morning Brew readers can claim a complimentary, no-obligation account with this link.

WORLD

Tour de headlines

Tour de headlines Black smoke covers Sudan's capital, Khartoum, on April 19. Abdelmoneim Sayed/AFP via Getty Images

Foreign governments evacuate diplomats from Sudan. The US, the UK, and other countries airlifted diplomats and other citizens out of Sudan over the weekend as fighting continued to rage between two rival generals over control of the African country. The situation is getting dire for Sudanese people caught in the crossfire: More than 420 people have been killed; food, water, and electricity are getting scarce; and internet and phone service suffered a “near-total collapse” yesterday, according to NetBlocks, a monitoring service.

NBC boss gets the boot. Jeff Shell, CEO of NBCUniversal, is leaving the company for “inappropriate conduct,” parent company Comcast said. In a statement, Shell acknowledged “an inappropriate relationship with a woman in the company, which I deeply regret.” Shell was one of the most powerful figures in media, overseeing everything from Universal theme parks to NBC News and Bravo. He joins a list of other media execs, including CNN’s Jeff Zucker, who have stepped down over inappropriate relationships at work.

Dead celebrities get blue checkmarks on Twitter. Prominent people who are deceased, such as Chadwick Boseman, Barbara Walters, and Anthony Bourdain, have received a verification badge on Twitter that’s supposed to be reserved for accounts that pay $8/month for a subscription to Twitter Blue. A note from the company on their pages states that these celebs have paid for the subscription, even though they are…not alive. Twitter has also restored blue check marks to many other living celebrities who aren’t paying for Twitter Blue, either. So, what this all amounts to, seemingly, is that CEO Elon Musk is partially recreating the verification system he made a big deal of destroying.

MARKETING

Bud Light makes changes after calls for boycott

@dylanmulvaney Instagram, a sponsored post for Bud Light @dylanmulvaney/Instagram

Bud Light’s VP of marketing, Alissa Heinerscheid, and her boss, Daniel Blake, were placed on leave following conservative backlash to a recent campaign with transgender influencer Dylan Mulvaney.

Since Heinerscheid became the first woman ever to lead Bud Light’s marketing last June, she set out to revive the declining brand by appealing to women and younger people. Those efforts included a partnership with Dylan Mulvaney, a transgender influencer who promoted Bud Light’s March Madness giveaway on April 1 with a personalized can the company had sent her.

This partnership did not sit well with many conservatives, who attacked Bud Light for being another corporation that went “woke” by prioritizing inclusivity. Kid Rock filmed himself shooting 12-packs of Bud Light, and other conservatives used social media to urge a boycott of the brand.

What’s Bud Light’s response been? Last week, the CEO of parent Anheuser-Busch released a non-statement statement, writing, “We never intended to be part of a discussion that divides people.” And yesterday’s shake-up shows it’s not happy with how the Mulvaney campaign went down. Along with sidelining the two execs, it’s changing its marketing department’s structure to give senior employees more visibility ​​into all decisions.

The boycott appears to be having some effect on business. According to Beer Business Daily, Bud Light sales fell 10.7% the week ended April 8, while shares in rival Molson Coors appear to have gotten at least a short-term lift.

     

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CALENDAR

The week ahead

The week ahead Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images

Biden may announce reelection bid tomorrow. The US president will reportedly debut his reelection campaign in a video message as soon as Tuesday. If elected to another four-year term, Biden would be 86 at the end of his White House tenure, older than any other president in history by far.

Stuffed earnings week: It might be easier to list who isn’t reporting earnings this week. Tech giants including Microsoft, Alphabet, Amazon, and Meta will drop Q1 financials, but so will many other large firms such as Coca-Cola, McDonald’s, Spotify, GM, Boeing, and ExxonMobil.

Debt ceiling vote: With time ticking for the government to raise the debt ceiling and avoid an economic catastrophe, the House is expected to vote on a Republican bill that would raise the debt ceiling this week. It’s stuffed with things Democrats disapprove of (like tighter rules on food stamps), so it’s intended to be a starting point for negotiations.

Everything else…

  • Israel will mark its 75th birthday this week amid ongoing protests against Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s (paused) plan to overhaul the judiciary.
  • A movie adaptation of Judy Blume’s Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret will be released on Friday.
  • The NFL draft begins Thursday. Carolina Panthers, you’re on the clock…

GRAB BAG

Key performance indicators

Rob McElhenney and Ryan Reynolds, Owners of Wrexham celebrate with the Vanarama National League trophy Jan Kruger/Getty Images

Quote: “I’m not sure I can actually process what happened tonight.”

Usually not at a loss for words, an emotional Ryan Reynolds said he was “a little speechless” after Welsh soccer club Wrexham won its game on Saturday to secure promotion to the fourth tier of English soccer for the first time in 15 years. Reynolds and his friend Rob McElhenney bought the struggling team in 2021, and after producing tremendous on-the-field progress and off-the-field publicity just two years later, these two Hollywood stars will never have to buy a pint in town again.

Stat: The prevalence of Vin Diesel’s exposed upper arms may be associated with box office and critical success. According to this really important analysis from a Reddit user, the movies in which Vin Diesel wears four sleeveless shirts and spends 14–15% of the film wearing them are better liked by critics and make more money than movies in which he wears fewer sleeveless shirts for less time. Vin Diesel averages 1.95 sleeveless shirts per film and wears one in 16 of his 23 films, the analysis claims. Reddit is undefeated.

Read: The amazing story of how Philly cheesesteaks became huge in Lahore, Pakistan. (Philadelphia Magazine)

NEWS

What else is brewing

  • The animatronic dragon Maleficent burst into flames during a live show at Disneyland Saturday night.
  • Charles Barkley and journalist Gayle King will co-host a weekly prime-time show called King Charles on CNN beginning this fall.
  • A German magazine fired its editor-in-chief and apologized after running an interview with an AI-generated Michael Schumacher, the Formula One champion who hasn’t been seen in public since a devastating 2013 skiing accident.
  • Pet parrots that were taught to video call other birds became less lonely, a new study claims.

RECS

Monday to-do list image

Why are people having so few babies? Here’s one theory.

Detroit knows how to do 4/20: Thank you, local news, for bringing us this report.

Grammar tip: Adjectives follow a specific order in English.

So they got a degree at Harvard. Here’s what careers they pursued.

Earnings galore: With a CIT Bank Platinum Savings Account, you’ll earn 12x the national average* (!!!) on balances of $5,000 or more, with a 4.75% APY.** See site for details.*

Housing huddle: The housing game is complex—it’s time for a li’l high-level discussion. We’re talking with Zillow, so join the convo and get a better grip on renting and buying in today’s market. Register here.*

*This is sponsored advertising content.

GAMES

The puzzle section

Turntable: To score a perfect game on today’s Turntable, you’ll need to find 34 words hidden in the jumble. For a no-hitter, 30 will do. Play it here.

The measure of things

All of the measurements below are equivalent to one (1) commonly known unit. Can you name them?

  1. 2,000 pounds
  2. 8 pints
  3. 5.88 trillion miles
  4. 660 feet
  5. 745.7 watts

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AROUND THE BREW

Last chance to sign up for Data Storytelling

Last chance to sign up for Data Storytelling Toy Story/Pixar

Today is the last day to sign up for our Data Storytelling Sprint, which will teach you how to approach data with confidence. Registration closes at noon ET—reserve your spot now.

What might you and top marketing leaders have in common? You both could attend our Marketing Brew Summit on May 11. Register here.

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ANSWER

  1. 1 US ton
  2. 1 gallon
  3. 1 light year
  4. 1 furlong
  5. 1 horsepower

✢ A Note From Masterworks

See important disclosures at masterworks.com/cd

✤ A Note From CIT Bank

CIT Bank is a division of First-Citizens Bank & Trust Company, Member FDIC. Platinum Savings is a tiered interest rate account. Interest is paid on the entire account balance based on the interest rate and APY in effect that day for the balance tier associated with the end-of-day account balance.

*Based on comparison to the national average Annual Percentage Yield (APY) on savings accounts as published in the FDIC National Rates and Rate Caps, accurate as of March 20, 2023.

**APYs — Annual Percentage Yields are accurate as of March 31, 2023: 0.25% APY on balances of $0.01 to $4,999.99; 4.75% APY on balances of $5,000.00 or more. Interest Rates for the Platinum Savings account are variable and may change at any time without notice. The minimum to open a Platinum Savings account is $100.

         

Written by Neal Freyman

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