Poem-a-Day - "Someday, Again" by Jason Bayani

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May 22, 2023

Someday, Again

Jason Bayani

I’m waiting for the words to catch up to my heart which is
elliptical at the moment there’s an apology

even I am expecting to bore out of my throat

but what for what for

I am continuing to write in a font that displeasures me
everything shifts so rapidly

my body the environment my body the environment

why not return to something as aggressively unspectacular as arial

a font for all my first thoughts today I typed the words
“someday, again”

and deleted and retyped deleted and retyped

inside of the collapse                I am still holding on to narrative
this is not sentiment                 it is how I keep my family together
when I breathe in deep enough I feel it            all the old anger
waiting to become newer anger            not having the words

can feel like not having something to hit I think I wrote that in another poem
before

what is the equation that solves everything ideas are commodity
even the idea that ideas are commodity I don’t even know

what I have to sell        I’ve spent my entire life living on a fault line
I know all that’s been made is inherently broken.
This is not me being dour        this is me writing a note
that says I miss you                              I meant that the other way

but the one you were thinking works, too

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“There was a point where I started to question what I was doing as a poet and if my voice was even needed, which I think was a necessary question for me to explore. But for a while, I didn’t write because that question made me uncomfortable and I tend to avoid discomfort. I don’t know if this poem is me facing that; maybe it’s a beginning, a negotiation of some kind, a way to find my way back to the table, or a way to understand my poetics inside of a world in collapse.”
—Jason Bayani

Jason Bayani is Filipino poet and the author of the collections Locus (Omnidawn Publishing, 2019) and Amulet (Write Bloody Publishing, 2014). A Kundiman Fellow, he is the recipient of the 2021 California Arts Council Individual Artists Fellowship. Bayani lives in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Locus
(Omnidawn, 2019)

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Thanks to Hieu Minh Nguyen, author of Not Here (Coffee House Press, 2018), who curated Poem-a-Day for this month’s weekdays. Read or listen to a Q&A about Nguyen’s curatorial approach and find out more about our guest editors for the year.

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