Here’s a question for you: Is freelancing synonymous with failing? And are we only ‘succeeding’ as a freelancer if we’re also not doing ‘quite so all right’?

OK, clever clogs, that’s two questions, I know. But I’ve been pondering this after a couple of similar incidents where the topic of struggling came up. During a call this week, someone told me they thought my TikTok showed I was struggling. They’re not the first ones to say something - someone else at a networking event said ‘are you ok? Your recent video worried me’.

I was confused by both, at first. But then I realised that not every one views what we put out there in the way we intended it. And is that good for busienss?

The thing is, I’m sharing things honestly on purpose. Some days I am struggling. Some days I do feel like c**p and hate freelancing.

I have NEVER been the kind of person to film themselves crying on social media and I worry for those who do. But I know lots of people who are building strong brands, followings, audiences and businesses by being super real. By saying ‘this has failed’ and ‘I’m struggling’.

But two more questions have remained with me:

1. Is it the right thing for our business to show the warts and all side of things?

2. Has failure and not doing ‘too much’ or ‘too well’ become a trend, a badge of honour?

One of the people I love for their honesty on Instagram is Anniki Sommerville. She’s been on the Freelance Feels podcast and she is so honest and open about work challenges and life challenges - she also has a book called ‘F*** nailing it’.

Newly released is Emma Gannon’s book, The Success Myth: Letting go of having it all.

Anniki and Emma are following in the footsteps of perhaps the poster girl of failure, Elizabeth Day. With her podcast and book, How to Fail, she embraces the things that have gone wrong, with high-profile guests.

Freelance Feels has, and always will be, about the realities of freelance life.

As a journalist, moaning about work was part and parcel of the job. Was - is! From chasing (low) rates to securing commisions… But is the ‘reality’ side of things bad for business as a coach? Would you have less faith in me as a coach to help you progress if I was to say, some days, ‘I’m not sure I’m doing this right’?

The key here is balance, I think.

It’s about honesty, with a dose of fun and the mixture of reality in our business and also what we offer.

For example, yes, I struggle sometimes with the ‘hustle’ of freelancing. I’m not always confident, and I doubt myself.

Does that mean I’m not a good coach? If I’m not feeling 100% in myself, will someone say ‘She won’t be good as a coach because she’s ‘struggling’?’

I guess I can’t be sure of that, but I know that to just be ‘shiny’ online all the time is fake for me. It’s not who I am. I’m not just about sharing my advice and insight with a smile and not saying ‘today is hard’.

I decided to take the advice I often give other people in this - to look at the facts.

I have over 3k followers on insta, and testimonials indicate that people who have worked with me as a coach like that I ‘get it’ (their words!).

I think for me to help freelancers dig deep and set goals, they need to know that I’m not listening from an ivory tower.

I have always worn my heart on my sleeve, from the articles I write to the videos I share, and I hope that it resonates with you. Even here, writing this, I am sharing because I want you, my fellow freelancers, to know that I do struggle.

So what can you do?

Well, funnily enough, I paused writing this to record another podcast episode, and the interviewee said to me ‘You’re like an emotional brassiere’. So I’m sharing that because that’s what you need, more than anything. A person, a fellow freelancer, who is your emotional support bra - your person you can be truly honest with about the struggle.

Someone you can say ‘Hey, I’m really struggling, can you chat?’

You can also look at different roles or contracts. There is no shame in taking full time, part time, or contract work, shifts or in-house work. It helps with the cashflow and it helps with the struggle of the juggle.

I say it a lot, but if you can find the oomph to get to a networking event of some kind, it’s like a meet up of people who are all feeling some level of the struggle.

Get outside, into the fresh air and have a walk, or try some of your preferred exercise.

It might be that you need to consider therapy, or speaking to the GP.

One thing I also learned from this upcoming podcast guest is that we can’t fight it. The struggle will always be there, and to fight against it is a tiresome and futile exercise.

Work with it, embrace it, try and let it be, alongside you, rather than banishing it.

That way, it becomes less of a problem and more of this life we call freelance.