Crooked Media - What A Day: Let It Arraign

Ukraine’s much-ballyhooed counteroffensive has officially claimed its first gains. 
 

• The hunted becomes the hunter in Ukraine. The country's officials claimed to have wrestled back a string of Russian-occupied Ukrainian villages this weekend on the war’s southern and eastern front lines such as Blahodatne. Russian officials have not admitted to losing ground but Russia’s military bloggers have. 
   
• One reason these things take time is because of how much of a traveling circus war can be. Much of the donated military might that is fueling this counteroffensive doesn’t shoot anything. The scale of this war is immense and as a result, some of the best gifts it has received have been mobile fuel and water tanks, medical and maintenance trucks, and even vehicles that install portable bridges and are capable of clearing minefields. 
   
• Not only are they winning back cities but the counteroffensive includes more shelling in Russia proper. Officials may not have confirmed losing ground to Ukraine but they have confirmed that Ukraine has turned the Russian border town of Shebekino into a ghost town. Russians getting a taste of their own medicine hasn’t helped sympathies for the plight of displaced Ukrainians though, as Putin’s propaganda machine has instilled the message that Russia is in a war against Nazis and fascism.

So, some progress is good news but we know that we are still far away from a resolution. Ukraine is going to have to fix a lot more problems to regain control. 
 

• As Ukraine continues to add new toys to its chest, Russia’s weaponry has been improving as well. They’ve been able to turn their Cold War-era bombs into  “precision-guided gliding munitions capable of striking targets without putting its warplanes at risk.” Russia has honed its electronic weapons as well to combat Ukraine's successful use of drones. It also had a lot of time to fortify defenses along the 600-mile front line. Ukraine can’t just keep improving they have to do it faster than Russia can. 
   
• Another thing hindering Ukraine’s chances of getting back significant area is that it doesn’t seem to be moving in a specific direction. They have so many areas that need attention that it’s tough to focus on a single action plan. Oh, and the flooding due to the June 6th destruction of the Nova Khakovka dam certainly hasn’t helped this counteroffensive plan. Resources can only be stretched so far now that there is a humanitarian crisis as well as just plain old war. 

It's good news overall but like any good news, Russia is probably gonna ruin it. It’s clear that this war will drag on for a long time before anyone can claim victory, even if it seems like we’re always on the precipice.

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As we sift through a thousand articles about the route that Trump’s motorcade will take on his way to Tuesday’s arraignment, it’s easy to think the goose is cooked. But let's take a gander at all the superficial support that Trump is receiving. Sen Lindsey Graham (R-SC) thinks it’s bullshit, saying, "Donald Trump -- you may hate his guts, but he is not a spy" - which is not one of the charges. Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH) doesn’t give a shit what President Trump did with the documents, saying, “If he wants to store material in a box in a bathroom, in a box on the stage, he can do that.” We already know that Speaker Kevin McCarthy loves the security afforded when storing the boxes in the bathroom. Marco Rubio worries that justice might be divisive. A worry, indeed. 

But we didn’t need the indictment to get these reactions. Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) said, “his indictment is garbage,” long before it was unsealed. But those are just the celebrity politicians who have to go on TV every time anything happens. Even if it seems like the same old, same old - it isn’t. When it comes to actually answering for the specifics of the indictment the majority of Republican colleagues stay silent. That’s where things are different. Before, it seemed like Trump would never actually face legal consequences. But now we’re here and the evidence isn’t really in dispute. Even Bill Barr went on Fox News Sunday to say, “Yes, he’s been a victim in the past…But this is much different…He was totally wrong that he had the right to have those documents.”

In a terrible blow to hip-tocurrency, North Korea is now funding its nuclear program with stolen Bitcoin. 

Thanks to rumors, we may now know how Ted Kaczynski died in prison.

Thousands of dead fish cover the shore in Texas. Global warming is to blame as warmer water carries less oxygen. The pictures are as bonkers as a climate denier in 2023.

Succession had another finale last night as Democratic donor and Republican boogeyman George Soros selects his third oldest son to take over his empire. 

The writerless Tony Awards were last night. Far more insulting to Broadway was the fact that the first half of the awards appeared on Pluto TV and the second half appeared on Paramount+. How did this not work??

The suspicious-as-hell PGA-LIV merger has piqued the interest of lawmakers. Senator Richard Blumenthal (D-CT) is asking questions about the terms behind the agreement, especially since the PGA has tax-exempt status.

Much of the President’s job feels like pulling teeth, so he has started outsourcing the teeth-pulling as he underwent a root canal on Monday.

A week after CNN loses its CEO, so does the Washington Post. Fred Ryan leaves the paper after 9 years to accept the top job at the…Center on Public Civility at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Foundation which sounds like a real job and we wish him all Be Best.

JPMorgan will pay $290 million to settle a lawsuit with victims of Jeffrey Epstein. That should MORE than make up for it. It’s always the bankers that suffer the most.

In Florida news, now you gotta worry about bears crawling out of the ocean. Also in Florida news, no one in this video seems to be concerned with distancing themselves from said bear.

Oh great, if climate disaster, nuclear war, pandemics, or daily mass shootings weren’t enough, now noise is killing us. Sounds from planes, trains, and Jane’s Addiction concerts can pose a risk of causing hypertension, stroke, and heart attacks. It’s wrongly assumed that people who live near train tracks or airports would have gotten used to the constant loud noise but studies have shown that prolonged exposure “primes the body to overreact and amplify the negative effects.” This, of course, affects low-income communities more often because calm, quiet streets usually come with a price. The difference in decibel levels in high vs low-income communities is relatively small - 4 decibels on average - but with each higher decibel, your risk for developing cardiovascular disease rises another percentage point. 

Loud noises don’t always take the slow route to kill you, it can sometimes kill you immediately. Sure, it’s rare, but human heads can start bursting at sounds above 240 decibels. Anything over 150 decibels is usually produced by massive explosions or rocket launches so if your neighborhood isn’t at war with Russia, you’re probably good. Your headphones on high aren’t gonna do it. But even if your head doesn’t explode, loud noises could trigger heart attacks, pulmonary embolism, and burst lungs. 

New York City mandates an $18/hr minimum wage for delivery drivers - a roughly $6 raise from the current average salary. DoorDash and Grubhub hate the new ruling, therefore it must be good. 

Fox News tells Tucker to stop all barn activity. They say it violates the terms of its contract that says he must wait til 2025 to have a show that’s even more embarrassing than his last show. 

Showing police forces around the country how it should be done, a man recently stopped a bank robbery by giving the robber a hug. Not sure if this would work for all bank robberies.