Creative Wellness Letters - Rude things my brain told me 🤬

Hi Reader, 

🧠:

“That’s not very interesting.”

“This doesn’t make any sense.”

“Things I wrote in my 30s” isn’t a legit theme.”

“How is this going to fit together as a cohesive album?”

“These pieces are too short.”

“This isn’t original, you definitely sound like you’re copying someone.”

“You definitely shouldn’t show these to anyone.”

“No one wants to hear this type of music.”

“Instrumental music isn’t that popular, this won’t sell or get funded.”

“Can you even do this?”

These are all things that my brain told me while looking through all of my previously written compositions - rude, right?!

If you’ve been following along, you might remember that I’m planning on recording a solo piano album later this year, to commemorate my 40th birthday, and I’ve been compiling and cataloging everything I wrote in my 30s to see what will go on the album.

I had hoped this would be a fairly quick process (hilarious, I know), and have encountered various bouts of resistance and avoidance along the way, so I thought I’d share my current experience with this totally normal part of the creative process.

Looking through old work often feels tender and vulnerable!

I know people who don’t want to look back at all, because it’s too cringey to see the work that they may feel they've outgrown. Very understandable!

When you find yourself in a vulnerable, self-critical moment while assessing your work, old or new, the first thing to remember is that your thoughts are not facts, and you don’t have to accept them without question.

My favorite disarming rebuttal is:

“Wow, brain, you are trying really hard to keep me safe right now!”, with at least a smile and shake of the head vibe. 

Hopefully I can also respond with gratitude, if I can access it, like, “Thanks for trying your best to ensure my safety, but this isn’t super helpful right now.”

You can also acknowledge your brain’s worries by writing them all down as they come up, and then saving the useful comments for later, or throwing it all away, whatever feels right!

I’ve worked for a long time to think like that, including lots of therapy, and reacting with less fear is not always what happens. In case that thought isn’t accessible to you, reminder that you get to practice it!

I also find these intrusive thoughts much easier to handle after acknowledging that they’re just a part of the process. Our brains are going to try to protect us from vulnerability, failure, or whatever risk they dream up! That’s normal, and we can just learn to expect it as merely a protection mechanism, not as a cosmic sign to stop the project.

Although, stopping temporarily is a perfectly okay move, if you need to wait until you’re not feeling so tender to make decisions and assessments about your work. 

So is creating more comfortable or pleasure-inducing conditions to help improve your mood while doing something hard. (See last week’s letter for more about that.)

When your inner judge is getting too judge-y, here are a few reframes that helped me:

• Some people will definitely enjoy this. [insert example of past success here]

• The combined product of all of these pieces represents me, my unique voice, and my creative multifacetedness.

• I get to decide what I want to create and what my music sounds like(!)

Overall, speaking to yourself like you would a friend/colleague is a great way to approach it. We can often get in touch with more self compassion by giving ourselves advice in this way - you’re definitely someone who deserves your honesty, encouragement, and kindness!

Next time you find yourself in a tender moment while assessing your own work, I hope this is helpful - wishing you fortitude in getting through it! 

What are your favorite reframes when your brain is being unkind? I'd love to hear about them!

I'm always rooting for you, and my inbox is always open, so please feel free to reach out if I can help in any way. 

I always love hearing from you!

Have a lovely week! ⁠

Rebecca

• I'm obsessed with VanVan and her adorable raps - this one with affirmations from Snoop Dogg is so great!

• I just revisited the classic video Powers of Ten (which I first saw in middle school science class), great for evoking a sense of wonder, and I was delighted to see that there's an updated version of zooming out through space!

• In case your summer has felt more frantic and less chill: A Summer Meditation to Help You Slow Down

• Ep. 72: Coda: Reflections, Endings, and Beginnings

Join us in Compassionate Creativity Coworking Club 

(Your first session is free to try!)

Book a free discovery call to learn more about coaching and get a mini-session

Coaching Offerings:

• Rise Above the Overwhelm: laser-focused 1-time sessions

• Creative Season (3 months)