To make a long story short, I was promised a job a year ago that never materialized.

I was led on by pie-in-the-sky amateurs who did not have bad intentions but made promises to me that they failed to keep due to poor planning.

As a result, I stopped marketing my business only because I wanted to ensure that I had the time to focus on this job and that I was given a guarantee that would happen by the summer.

Well, here we are, and this company cannot give me the job they promised me.

They Screwed Me, And I Also Screwed Myself

After making this painful realization that this company failed to live up to its promises and they are likely tanking, I found myself in a pickle.

Here I am unsuccessfully able to find a part-time job because the market is tough for everyone. And here I am, finding myself not having the funds I need to market my freelancing business. So this has all left me full of rage.

I am angry at myself for allowing this company to tag me along, and I surrendered any power I had to them. And I am also very angry with them for doing what they did.

As I struggled with my job search, I was tempted to send them an email full of rage and profanity. At that moment, I did not care about what consequences that would have left me.

However, a tiny part of me told me to “wait and think” before acting. I took some breaths and held back. I pulled out a tarot card, and I got the Emperor.

The Emperor Reminded Me To Take Control Once Again

The Emperor tarot card represents authority, discipline, order, stability, and self-control, making it the most masculine card in the deck.

As a symbol of authority and leadership, the Emperor card is usually depicted on a throne in traditional Tarot decks. He is generally defined as a robust and wise figure with a long white beard and crown representing his sovereignty.

You can interpret this card in reading as showing that your life is in order and you are in charge, as you need to see this to gain some confidence at times. You are also reminded to get your life in order if it isn't.

After reflecting on that, I imagined hearing the Emperor say, “What will unleashing your anger on this company serve you?”

Then, I realized it was time to do something more constructive with my anger. This included holding off on sending an email that would reflect poorly on me.

Although I feel tempted to lash out at them and call them liars, I won't. My anger has been reminded by the Emperor to be used more effectively.

Yes. my anger is valid, but I need to work on letting my anger towards them go and being kinder to myself in this, as it was a difficult learning experience in attachment for me.

And to start believing in myself again because I lost my belief in myself along the way. In other words, the Emperor is telling me to channel my anger better, leading me to take control of my life and get my shit together again. like I once had.