Crooked Media - March madness

- Former UN Secretary Nikki Haley debuting her new 2024 campaign platform of “You should never be able to retire.”

Looks like Donald Trump is going to have an extremely busy 2024. 
 

• U.S. District Judge Tanya Chutkan summarily rebuffed arguments from disgraced former president Donald Trump’s attorneys that it was necessary to push his federal trial off until April 2026 on Monday. She did, however, agree to a trial date a few months past the January 2024 date proposed by Special Counsel Jack Smith. Trump’s first federal trial will begin on March 4, 2024, she ordered, leaving plenty of time for him to become a convicted felon before facing voters. 
   

• If that date holds, it’s a major setback for Trump, who sought to delay the case until far after the 2024 presidential election. He currently leads the GOP primary field by upwards of 40 points. A March trial would fall smack-dab in the middle of the Republican Party’s nominating calendar, beginning one day before Super Tuesday on March 5, 2024. 
   

• A March 4 trial would also begin just weeks before a different Trump trial—the  New York state hush money trial is set to begin in April, though District Attorney Alvin Bragg has suggested he’d seek to delay that trial if it conflicted with a more urgent federal prosecution. Judge Chutkan said she had spoken “briefly” with the judge presiding over that case. Trump’s lawyer John Lauro is making a big stink about the proposed March federal court date, as he said he and his team received an enormous number of records from Smith’s Justice Department team and that the volume of files combined with the novel legal issues would require significant additional time to sort through.

Judge Chutkan’s decision all but ensures that Trump will have to stand trial in at least three separate criminal cases while also campaigning for the GOP nomination. 
 

• Trump’s campaign said that he has raised over $7 million since Thursday when the former president was booked at Fulton County jail in Georgia on racketeering charges related to his illegal scheme to overturn the 2020 presidential election results and he became the first president in United States history to earn himself a mug shot. Friday was reportedly the 2024 Trump campaign’s biggest one-day fundraising haul so far. We never doubted that Trump would continue scamming his MAGA faithful out of their hard-earned money. 
   

• Trump’s former White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows took the witness stand in federal court on Monday in an attempt to get the criminal case regarding his involvement in Trump’s attempt to steal the election taken out of Georgia state court and eventually dismissed. Meadows declared in his testimony that he took an extremely broad view (lol, okay pal) of his responsibilities as chief of staff and therefore the corruption acts he subjected Georgia election officials to fell within the scope of “federal duties” for which he should not be tried in state court. Good luck with that, my guy!
   

Getting pretty tired of these rich guys and their crimes!

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A White gunman targeted Black people inside of a Jacksonville, FL, store on Saturday near one of the state's Historically Black Colleges, killing three people. After the shooting, Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-FL) flew back to Tallahassee from a presidential campaign trip to Iowa. He also canceled a campaign stop in South Carolina because a major storm is projected to strike on Florida’s Gulf coast on Wednesday, the first of the year’s hurricane season. DeSantis’ “War on Woke” put the way African American history is taught in schools directly in its crosshairs and produced a fallacious, revisionist history curriculum. Consequently, his relationship with the state’s Black community is fraught with distrust and anger. On Sunday, when DeSantis spoke at a vigil for the shooting victims in Jacksonville, he was loudly booed. State Rep. Angie Nixon (D-FL) who represents Jacksonville, called the shooting “a stark reminder of the dangerous consequences of unchecked racism” and chided DeSantis for his “empty gestures” and “publicity stunts.”

Gov. Glenn Youngkin (R-VA) is devoting significant campaign resources to gaining control of the state’s general assembly this fall in the hope of enacting a hyper-conservative agenda, including a total ban on abortions after 15 weeks. 

House Speaker Kevin McCarthy said on Sunday that an impeachment inquiry into President Biden would be a “natural step forward” following GOP-led sham investigations of the president that have turned up no wrongdoing. I would love for him to take a “natural step forward” off of a cliff. 

Fox News quietly “revised” a digital story then removed it from its website entirely after the United States Marine Corps appealed to Fox executives to challenge the network’s false claims that a fallen Marine’s family had to cover the cost of transporting her remains. Though Fox has issued an apology to the family, it has unsurprisingly not announced to its audience that it fucked the story up.

A senior board member of the American Conservative Union (CPAC’s parent organization) resigned on Friday and urged an independent investigation of additional allegations of sexual misconduct against CPAC Chairman Matt Schlapp.

A 20-year-old college student at the University of South Carolina was fatally shot on Saturday after trying to enter the wrong house on the street where he lived. South Carolina has “stand your ground” laws and does not require gun owners to obtain licensure. 

A faculty member at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill was killed on Monday in a shooting that prompted a campus-wide lockdown to search for an “armed and dangerous person.” A suspect was captured some 90 minutes later, and an all-clear was issued two hours after that. Tuesday’s classes have been canceled. 

Ukrainian officials declared on Monday that the country’s troops liberated the southeastern settlement of Robotyne over the weekend as part of the military’s ongoing counteroffensive against Russian forces.

At last week’s absolutely deranged GOP primary debate, Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-FL) told a story about a person who reportedly survived “multiple abortion attempts” as a cudgel to attack Democrats for supporting safe and legal abortion access. “I know a lady in Florida named Penny…She survived multiple abortion attempts. She was left discarded in a pan. Fortunately, her grandmother saved her and brought her to another hospital,” he said. Sounds pretty terrible, huh? Well, if you can believe such a thing, it turns out the story was strategically fabricated and contained some glaring omissions. Penny is a real person, but the individual who tried to end her life was not a licensed doctor or even an illegal abortion provider, it was her own father…in 1955. Yes, Penny Hopper survived an attempted coat hanger abortion by her father because he believed their family was too impoverished to support a second child, almost two decades before Roe vs. Wade guaranteed the federal right to an abortion, which made the procedure legal in Florida. So to make his grand point on the evils of abortion, Ron DeSantis illustrated what happens when desperate people are not able to safely and legally end a pregnancy. Cool, thanks for that, Ron. 

Read more at: 

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics-government/article278586634.html 

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Chipotle Mexican Grill has agreed to pay the District of Columbia $322,400 and adopt new workplace protocols after the fast-food chain violated DC’s labor laws in excess of 800 times over the past three years. 
 

Pope Francis criticized the “backwardness” of some conservatives in the U.S. Catholic Church, and said they have replaced faith with ideology, and that correct interpretation of Catholic doctrine allows for change over time. 
 

Barbie is now Warner Bros.’ highest-grossing film of all-time.
 

O.J. Simpson endorsed Vivek Ramaswamy. A HUGE get for Vivek.

Also, Eminem sent Vivek a cease-and-desist letter to force the extremely grating GOP candidate to stop rapping his songs on the campaign trail. The nation thanks you for your service, Em.