The Unspoken Part of the Dating Discourse (by Aimée Lutkin)
By Aimée Lutkin There are certain subjects that will always be fodder for the cursed concept of “discourse,” topics that would spawn heated arguments even before a person could announce their opinion simultaneously to hundreds of thousands of strangers on the internet. They have their moments of particularly incendiary heat, of course, then recede, then come back, like wildfire season. Dating is back as the topic du jour, if it ever really left. Likely, I am biased in thinking romantic love is the defining question of our time. The algorithm has correctly identified me as a single woman and more specifically, a single woman who has written a lot about singleness, dating, and loneliness. So I am served all the videos and Twitter threads and TikTok convos about Modern Love and what it looks like right now. It looks bad. Real bad. It genuinely seems like women in particular are this damn close to unionizing. The discussion is particularly heated now, but in every era, love is something people will almost always have an opinion about, because they’ve experienced it or because they haven’t gotten to experience it or because they’ve been hurt by it. But most of all, they have opinions because romantic love as a concept is so deeply entwined with how our society is systematically organized that dating seems to be at the heart of their very survival. Taxes, hospital visits, home care, child custody, bills, pensions, retirement, housing. All of these issues are touched by romantic relationships and often even dictated by whether or not you have one. Yet, many of these love, marriage, and family conversations are about the personal, eschewing the structural. As an example, we talk about how moms feel abandoned by their childless friends, and how childless women feel like they’re not validated by their friends with kids. That could be a conversation about universal childcare or even universal healthcare if we’re talking about fertility or hospital bills around birthing. It could be about how when we aren’t supported by society it’s much harder to be supportive of each other... Keep reading with a 7-day free trialSubscribe to The Single Supplement to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.A subscription gets you:
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Goodbye, Nostalgia Summer (guest piece by Aimée Lutkin)
Sunday, September 3, 2023
Hello, Happy Sunday, everyone. It's been a while. I have so missed writing to you and am looking forward to getting back to regular correspondence after completely losing my writing mojo then
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Monday, June 5, 2023
Hello all, Just a little note to say I am putting this newsletter on pause for a couple of months. As you may have noticed, I haven't published any newsletters for a while. It is not because I have
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The Dress (guest piece by Amy Key)
Wednesday, April 19, 2023
Hello all, It's been a while and I can only apologies I haven't managed to get a newsletter out before now. One day I will tell you all what's going on for me at the moment – professionally
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