I still remember a dream I had when I was six. I was flying up toward the ceiling in a room with blue walls, and I remember seeing the Victorian-style hand mirror with a hand fan on the wooden dresser as I looked down.

When I had a past-life regression years ago, the first image that came to my mind as I was entering my full last incarnation (sadly, not my last one as I was a child who died in the Holocaust, so I never retrieved anything from that, for apparent reasons) was that snippet from that dream.

I knew I lived a full life in Victorian England and was a homebody, but I enjoyed a good and prosperous life.

Therefore, that dream I had must have been my last memory from that life because that is when I passed away as my soul flew up and looked down.

Anyway, I found that interesting, and since I have lived a challenging life (as most of us do for one reason or another), I have had to examine what kind of karma I had to face.

However, the main challenges I have faced in my life involved being an outcast as I never “measured up” to society’s standards (such as struggling with obesity and being a significant bullying target in middle and early high school).

My parents were unfairly hard on me growing up. However, because they redeemed themselves, I am still in their lives (I was going to go no contact at one point).

Also, having a child with complex special needs, I had no choice but to surrender to a therapeutic residence at 13 back in 2017. There were some significant challenges I had in my life.

I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and complex PTSD, which is not shocking.

When I was at the worst of my burnout before my son left (I was 300 lbs, the heaviest I have ever been, and so severely depressed I was almost catatonic), I was stuck in a victim mindset, but when you are so burned out, that is not hard to see.

I knew that I had no choice but to surrender him because things could have gotten dangerous if I didn’t, and since I had always been a people-pleaser with no backbone, that was when I had to develop one.

Anyway, it was the best choice to make as I am doing much better, and I can be a mom to my daughter as she missed out on me being the mom she needed. I am far healthier and not 300 lbs anymore.

So, I have had some past-life regressions, as there are things I do understand now, such as why I have had to face the karma I have had to face and the lessons I had to face.

I just want to clarify that I do not believe at all that you plan your traumas, as that is a cause of misuse of free will from others.

But the risk of it is high since you come into this life with a specific energy, and mine was overly sensitive, which is why I was a target in my early years, which also explains why I struggled with echoism so much.

However, if you are wondering why you have some challenges and what lessons you need to learn in this life and aren’t sure if you want to do a past-life regression, you can do a tarot spread.

The tarot spread does not have to be elaborate, as a simple three-card spread can give you much information.

Therefore, I will put out the three-card past life tarot spread I did on myself.

Here it is. The first card represents your overall life in your previous life, meaning your karma and linking to many lessons you have to face today.

The second card represents how these issues affect your current life, and the last card represents the lessons to learn.

Therefore, the first card I got was the Nine of Cups, the second was Hermit, and the third was Strength.

Card One: Nine of Cups

The first card represents the overall life you lived in your previous life, and this is how life choices you made in that life affect you today.

Therefore, I got the Nine of Cups. I am well aware that I came from a wealthy family in Victorian England and was spoiled and got what I wanted.

I had maids that I did not treat well and treated others as if they were beneath me. I was not pleasant, but I know I was “aesthetically pleasing.”

Therefore, it is unsurprising that the earliest challenge in my life was that I had to watch my parents baby my brother while they were hard on me.

I struggled with my weight and was bullied for it, and I developed PCOS. I have had to work twice as hard for things in life because of having undiagnosed ADHD and a non-verbal learning disability.

Therefore, I got everything I wanted in that last life and abused my privileges. In this incarnation, I have had to work extremely hard, harder than the average person, to attain what I want, and I have also had to live with broken dreams.

Card Two: Hermit

The second card indicates how the issues brought on by the first card affect me now as it shows how it influences my present life, choices, thoughts, and perception.

I got the Hermit, and after being ostracized and going through so many struggles and disappointments in life, it is not a surprise that I would pull back and do a lot of soul-searching and choose to keep my circle very small.

I was never the popular one, and I desperately wanted to be popular in my youth, but it never happened (definitely one of those broken dreams I had to live with).

However, my perception of the popular crowd has changed, and I would take being a misfit any day over being popular now.

Card Three: Strength

The third card represents the lessons I need to learn in this life so I can carry them with me and evolve.

Again, it's not a surprise I got Strength. I 100 percent do not believe trauma makes you stronger, which is one of the worst things to say to trauma survivors.

But you find strength within if you want something to change very badly.

I believe that I came in with a weak and sensitive energy into this life because of the brief horrific life I had during the Holocaust, and more importantly, I did not fend for myself during my Victorian life as everything was handed to me on a silver platter.

Therefore, it is unsurprising that after the scapegoating and bullying I put up with in my youth, I became a people-pleaser because I desperately wanted others to approve of me - until I stopped caring.

The catalyst was when I had to surrender my son since I could not care for him. That was the most challenging thing I had to do, but since then, I have started shedding my echoism.

And when you stop people-pleasing and begin to care about your wants and needs instead of always putting them on the back burner for others, that takes a lot of strength.

So, if you are curious about your past lives and want a quick overview of your most impactful previous one and how it affects you today, there is a three-card simple spread you can do!

Don’t forget to follow me on notes so you can get your daily readings each weekday!