Good morning. A solid bit of writing advice from Mark Twain on what would have been his 188th birthday: “Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very’; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.” And if you don’t have an editor…well, you get the idea. (Don’t write “very.”)
—Cassandra Cassidy, Molly Liebergall, Matty Merritt, Abby Rubenstein, Neal Freyman
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Nasdaq
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14,258.49
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S&P
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4,550.58
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Dow
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35,430.42
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10-Year
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4.265%
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Bitcoin
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$37,867.10
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Cigna
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$262.87
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*Stock data as of market close, cryptocurrency data as of 9:00am ET.
Here's what these numbers mean.
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Markets: Stocks stayed pretty flat yesterday. But things are looking up: New government data shows the economy grew even more last quarter than was previously thought and, if things go well today, all three major averages could report their biggest monthly gains of the year. Meanwhile, Cigna and Humana fell after the Wall Street Journal reported that the two insurance behemoths were in talks to merge.
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Francis Scialabba
As world leaders gather in Dubai today for a two-week conference dedicated to figuring out what they’re going to do about climate change, a major agreement to curb emissions could be in the cards.
That’s according to the president of COP28, Sultan Al Jaber—a man who has managed to be both the leader of the climate change summit and the head of UAE oil company Adnoc, a potential conflict that’s caused criticism and intrigue in the lead-up to the event. Al Jaber told the Guardian that world leaders, including Saudi Arabia’s, may end up hammering out a “robust roadmap” of greenhouse gas emission cuts that would prevent the world from warming more than the globally agreed-upon threshold of 1.5 degrees.
The 1.5-degree threshold is a BFD
Once the planet’s long-term average temperature reaches 1.5 degrees Celsius above the planet’s preindustrial-era average temperature, the damage may become severe and potentially irreversible. Climate scientists say…
- It would result in more of what we saw this summer: record-hot temperatures and extreme flooding. In the US, temperatures are rising faster than the global average.
- Catastrophic weather events could become more frequent and worse, such as longer droughts, stronger hurricanes, and more intense wildfires.
And we’re already getting there: For 127 days this year, Earth passed a daily average temperature of 1.5 degrees above preindustrial levels, according to the European climate service Copernicus.
We’ll always have the Paris Agreement…but it’s up to COP28 to actually get us to meet its targets. To avoid breaching the deal’s 1.5-degree limit, the world needs to reach net-zero emissions by 2050, per the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. Removing as much emissions as humans put out is an ambitious task, considering emissions continue to rise and oil companies remain bullish.—CC
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Hitting the road for the holidays but need to stay connected? Don’t get caught in a dead zone.
Instead, take AT&T In-car Wi-Fi along for the ride. You can connect up to 10 Wi-Fi–capable devices and stream your favorite content on the open road—TV shows, music, movies, games, you name it.
Need to hop on a quick 1-on-1 away from the kids in the back? AT&T In-car Wi-Fi works in proximity outside of your vehicle, so you can get the important stuff done away from any distractions.
But here’s the cherry on top: AT&T is now offering 4 days of Unlimited In-car Wi-Fi—on them.
Get cruising.
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Brooks Kraft LLC/Corbis via Getty Images
Henry Kissinger has died at age 100. The controversial giant of American foreign policy served as secretary of state and national security adviser under Presidents Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford and advised other US leaders for years after, shaping much of the nation’s Cold War policy—including engineering the opening of the relationship between the US and China. Known for prizing realpolitik over moral considerations, he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for negotiating a cease-fire deal for Vietnam but was often called a war criminal by his critics.
Israel and Hamas extended their pause in fighting. Negotiations continued down to the last moments but, minutes before their truce was set to expire, Israel and Hamas agreed to add one more day to their cease-fire. Yesterday, on the cease-fire’s sixth day, Hamas released 16 people who had been held hostage in Gaza, including an Israeli-American dual citizen, and in return Israel released 30 Palestinians from prison, including prominent activist Ahed Tamimi. Hamas also said that 10-month-old Kfir Bibas, the youngest Israeli hostage, and his family had died, a claim Israel’s military said it was assessing.
US says it stopped Indian plot to kill Sikh separatist in NYC. In an indictment made public yesterday, federal prosecutors claimed that Nikhil Gupta, an Indian national, was hired by an Indian government official to find a hitman to murder a target reported to be Gurpatwant Singh Pannun, a dual US-Canadian citizen who works for a group that seeks to create a Sikh state independent from India. Though the US claims it foiled the efforts, the alleged plans for an assassination on US soil, similar to the one that was recently alleged to have taken place in Canada, is likely to strain relations with India even as President Biden has tried to strengthen them to take on China.
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Illustration: Francis Scialabba, Photo: Ethan Miller/Getty Images
Some of America’s wealthiest business leaders are throwing their weight behind former South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley in the Republican presidential primary. But money might not help Haley catch up to Donald Trump, who still dominates the field and raised the most cash last quarter.
JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon is the latest exec to publicly plant a flag in Haley’s camp, just a day after she bagged an endorsement from billionaire Charles Koch’s political network. At the DealBook Summit yesterday, Dimon urged an audience of Wall Street ballers—including hedge fund titan Bill Ackman—to “help” Haley to provide a viable Republican choice “that might be better than [Donald] Trump,” CNBC reported.
Ackman, who typically supports Democrats, has himself said positive things about Haley and former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie.
Numbers game: GOP megadonors are increasingly writing checks to Haley or seriously thinking about it because they consider her policies more rational than Trump’s (and likely better for business). Recent polling also shows Haley beating Joe Biden by a margin twice as large as those projected for his matchups with Trump or Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.
But…while DeSantis is losing ground and Haley is polling as the second-most-popular GOP candidate in New Hampshire, a crucial primary state, she still lags behind Trump in head-to-head matchups by a whopping 44-point average, according to the Washington Post. So far, there’s little indication that more money will change that.—ML
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Francis Scialabba
It’s that time of the year when you find out someone close to you is actually really into jazz. Spotify Wrapped dropped yesterday with a new “sound town” feature that matches your listening tastes to a city...which for a whole lot of listeners turned out to be the vibe of hippie haven Burlington, Vermont.
In addition to making you question the regional feel you thought you gave off, Spotify offered a few other new ways to interpret your listening data. Two years ago, there were Auras, and this year’s non-geographical musical vibe check is “Me in 2023,” wherein the streaming platform assigns you a character like Alchemist (you make a lot of playlists) or Hunter (you skip a lot of songs).
- Spotify Wrapped also told listeners the months in which they listened to their top artists the most.
- It’s also the first Wrapped since the platform’s AI DJ launched, and you can use it to guide you through your results.
Big picture: While some listeners may have been shocked to find some dark-horse artists in their Wrapped this year, globally, one thing was clear: Taylor Swift is so back. She was Spotify’s most-played artist of 2023, unseating Bad Bunny, who held the top spot for the previous three years.
More music news: We interviewed Andy Mooney, the CEO of Fender and the brains behind the $46 billion Disney Princess franchise, about metal music, streaming, and why “Wonderwall” is always the song people whip out at parties. Read it here.—MM
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Francis Scialabba
Stat: All your TikTok-inspired charcuterie boards have helped inspire an American renaissance for a cold cut whose second name is definitely not spelled baloney. Last year, the US imported 1,200 tons of mortadella di bologna from Italy, up from 786 tons in 2019, according to an association of Italian meat producers. The rise of the Instagrammable ham is all the more impressive because it—alongside other Italian cured meats—wasn’t permitted into the country between 1967 and 2000 due to the FDA’s (questionable) concerns about swine flu, per the New York Times.
Quote: “Go f*** yourself, is that clear? I hope it is. Hey, Bob.”
While no one expected Elon Musk to be demure when he spoke at the DealBook Summit yesterday, the crowd still appeared stunned into silence when the Tesla and SpaceX CEO started dropping f-bombs—and then called out Disney CEO Bob Iger, who’d spoken earlier in the day—when asked about advertisers fleeing X in the wake of recent antisemitism scandals. “Don’t advertise…if someone is going to try and blackmail me with advertising? Blackmail me with money? Go f*** yourself,” Musk said.
Read: Why films got less sexy. (Lo Specchio Scuro)
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The UAW hit the gas yesterday on a campaign to organize 13 nonunionized car companies, including Tesla and Toyota.
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London’s black cabs will soon be available for hailing via Uber as the company continues to make deals to bring traditional taxis into its fold.
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The US saw a record number of deaths by suicide in 2022, although the suicide rates among children and teens went down.
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Jezebel might need to change its name to Lazarus because the feminist blog, which was shuttered by G/O Media earlier this month, has been acquired by Paste Magazine to be brought back to life.
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Rockefeller Center lit its tree yesterday. Let’s hope this one is hardier than the National Tree at the White House, which briefly fell over on Tuesday.
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Giflytics via Giphy
Don’t wait until the new year to level up your skills. We’re bringing back our free course with Excel expert Miss Excel one last time in 2023, on December 13 at 12pm ET. You can learn hidden tricks for optimizing your spreadsheets and discover how to leverage new Excel functions to save hours each week. Register now.
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Agree or disagree: The best TV shows of 2023.
Play: This brick-breaking game is so nice you can play it twice with a nested “Brickception.”
Listen: A new podcast explores a notorious alleged art smuggler’s efforts to help recover a Caravaggio stolen by the Mafia decades ago.
See if you’re a cheapskate: Compare how your tipping habits stack up against the average American’s.
Make an app: Our hit partnership with Tara Reed, co-host of Bossy and tech founder, is back. Join us on Tuesday, December 12, for her free course, “How to Build Your Own App (no coding skills required).” Register now.
Delicious + nutritious: With a tasty assortment of specially crafted gummy vitamins designed to fit your specific needs, Vitafusion can help you rule your day, every day. Taste the difference.* *A message from our sponsor.
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Brew Mini: Shoutout to our incredible puzzle creator, Mary, for her 400th crossword at the Brew! She threw in a special feature to celebrate. Play the Mini here.
Three Headlines and a Lie
Three of these headlines are real and one is faker than someone getting Springfield, Missouri, as their “sound town.” Can you spot the odd one out?
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Brazil’s mysterious tunnels made by giant sloths
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Child driving stolen construction forklift leads Ann Arbor police on chase
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Russian students are being asked to donate their vapes so the parts can be used in combat drones, report says
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Next season of ‘Supermarket Sweep’ remake will take place in a 3D-printed grocery store
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We made up the one about the 3D-printed store.
Word of the Day
Today’s Word of the Day is: bigwig, meaning “an important person.” Thanks to VIP Melissa from Tempe, Arizona, for the suggestion. Submit another Word of the Day here.
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