Elon Musk thinks he's Iron Man when he's actually Michael Scott meets Kendall Roy
This is the Rubesletter from Matt Ruby. I’m a comedian, writer, and the creator of Vooza. Every Tuesday, I send essays, jokes, and videos to your inbox. You’re on the free plan, for the full experience, sign up for a paid subscription. Elon Musk thinks he's Iron Man when he's actually Michael Scott meets Kendall RoyThat Dealbook interview was like the worst Succession scene ever. When will his bootlicking sycophants give it up?You can’t script a cringe comedy moment any better than this scene at the Dealbook conference:
Classic! Michael Scott couldn’t have delivered it any better. And then there was his “Go f– yourself” moment followed immediately by the painful 5 seconds in which he slowly realized he would get neither audience applause nor understanding from Sorkin. Worst Succession scene ever. (Or was it the best?) Also, he said the people of Earth will decide who is to blame if X goes bankrupt: “The whole world will know that those advertisers killed the company…Let's see how Earth responds to that." Dude, no one gives a f–. “Earth” isn’t losing sleep over this. Your hate-rage platform is a toxic cesspool. All you’ll get from the rest of us is a sigh of relief – and then Threads or something else will be the place we all go to complain when the refs miss a call on Sunday Night Football. “The trouble with algorithms, is that it rewards extremes. Say you’re driving down the road and see a car crash. Of course you look. Everyone looks. The internet interprets behavior like this to mean everyone is asking for car crashes, so it tries to supply them.” Gotta be honest: Musk now feels like the worst advertisement ever for Ketamine. Thought that stuff was supposed to heal you, not turn you into a heel. Every time he opens his mouth lately, his status as a biz wizard becomes increasingly suspicious. Elon: "Are you trying to blackmail me with money?" I’m no MBA, but I’m pretty sure “blackmail me with money” is literally what it means to run a business. Like, if Elon ran a restaurant, would it go like this? Customer: “I’d like the cheeseburger.” But hey, at least he’s cleared up that he’s “against anti-anything”… …So can we say he’s anti-anti-anything? I’d say that’s very meta, but then Zuck might sue for copyright infringement. Al least he’s still got his bootlickers. For example, many in the VC brigade just can’t quit him. Bill Ackman, billionaire hedge fund manager and founder of Pershing Square Capital Management, unleashed an impressively sycophantic post endorsing all things Musk. Breathtaking stuff. I have some questions for Mr. Ackman though:
Anyway, let’s see what’s trending on X now? Oy vey. SubscribeEarth will decide if the Rubesletter is worth anything! That’s you. You’re Earth. But really, do you get value out of this newsletter? Want to get bonus content the hoi polloi don’t see? Then please consider a paid subscription. It validates what happens around here. Also helpful: Telling friends or post about it. Thanks. Quickies🎯 Doorman at this place just referred to the bathroom as “the facilities.” I like that because then, instead of being a p*sser, I’m a facilitator. 🎯 Sorry, but the more you talk about ethical non-monogamy, the more it comes off like you're just bragging about how much you get laid. 🎯 You don't have to tell us your city is ______ STRONG. We get it, every town is now strong like every woman is now a queen. Related: Words have no meaning anymore. 🎯 I saw a robot server at a restaurant recently and thought it was cute until I realized between those, AI, and self-driving cars we're gonna lose 60% of jobs in the next decade. 🎯 Our culture is based on ego stroking and a complete lack of desire to compromise or meet others halfway. Notice how many arguments nowadays are akin to saying, "Don't compromise at all and you'll get exactly what you want!" 🎯 Send me your Spotify Wrapped and I'll roast you for not having The Who’s 10-album Lifehouse box set as your #1 listen, poseur. 🎯 Watching new season of The Crown + Beckham doc + Robbie Williams doc all in two weeks has me feeling like I’m living in the UK in the late 90’s. Bloody ‘ell, you and I, we’re gonna live foreverrrrrrrrr! 🎯 My big takeaway from that Beckham doc on Netflix: The man’s sweater game is impeccable. 🎯 My dad's Israeli and my mom's Russian so that’s why I love to bomb. 🎯 Italian Wedding Soup baffles me. It's just an ethnicity, an event, and a generic kind of food, yet it's everywhere. Why can't other cultures have this? Why isn’t there Vietnamese Funeral Dumplings or Boca Raton Circumcision Stew!? 🎯 The greatest luxury of youth is not having to remember the things that you've seen. Comedy🃏 NYC: Dec 14 = Mood Board at Gospel. 🃏 Miami: Dec 22-23 at Comedy Inn (with Mike Vecchione). 🃏 I post clips of my standup (and more) at Instagram, TikTok, Threads, and YouTube. 🃏 Check out my other newsletter that’s all about the craft of doing standup: Funny How: Letters to a Young Comedian. Recent posts there: 🃏 Listen to my podcast:
5-spotted🗯 Evolutionary psychologist William von Hippel on why we don’t like candid pictures or the sound of our own voices (from his book The Social Leap).
🗯 The ACLU famously defended the First Amendment rights of N@zis and the KKK, but Jay Caspian Kang argues, “that type of advocacy feels both verboten and anachronistic now.” [The New Yorker]
🗯 Charlie Munger on self-pity:
🗯 Something we rarely admit: Greatness is often fueled by obsession that borders on addiction. [The Athletic]
🗯 Just learned one of my go-to theories has a name: Hanlon’s razor.
So keep that in mind next time you think I’m being a jerk: I’m probably not malicious, I’m just stupid. Phew? See ya next time. -Matt You’re on the free list for The Rubesletter by Matt Ruby. For the full experience, become a paying subscriber. Watch “Substance,” Matt’s 2023 comedy special where he performs sets high, drunk, sober, and on shrooms. Check out Matt’s other newsletter: Funny How: Letters to a Young Comedian. Follow Matt elsewhere: Instagram • Twitter • YouTube • TikTok • Facebook |
Older messages
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From Pat McAfee's tank tops to SBF's shorts, men in the public sphere are increasingly fine dressing like slobs. What happened to the days of Pat Riley in Armani?
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Tuesday, November 21, 2023
Watch out, snowflakes. Macho beverages want to dominate your thirst. // Also: Israel, Elon, AI, Sam Harris, Kurt Vonnegut, and more.
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Tuesday, November 14, 2023
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