Delegates from nearly 200 countries are in Dubai wrapping up COP28, the UN’s annual climate change conference, and folks haven’t been this furious about an ending since the last season of Game of Thrones.

Many delegates and climate leaders believed that the main point of COP28 was to call for an international plan to reduce fossil fuel usage to net zero, which scientists say is the only way we’ll have a shot at keeping global warming below the internationally agreed-upon 1.5-degrees Celsius limit. But the latest version of the summit’s draft agreement on global warming, released yesterday, removed mention of a necessary “phase out” of fossil fuels. Instead, it suggests a handful of strategies that nations “could” implement in order to “reduce” emissions.

The EU and US both disapprove of the new version, and climate advocates called it “grossly insufficient” as well as “incoherent and dangerous.” Former Vice President and longtime environmentalist Al Gore even posted on X that “COP28 is now on the verge of complete failure.”

How did COP28 seemingly lose the plot?

Climate advocates say the weak language in the new draft indicates that the COP28 presidency—which oversees the conference and writes the agreement—is pandering to oil-producing nations.

And the circumstances around this year’s conference aren’t good for beating the “who thwarted?” allegations:

• This year, the president of COP28 is Sultan Al Jaber, an Emirati politician who runs the UAE’s state-owned oil company. He came under fire last week for claiming that there’s “no science” to support the need for a fossil fuel phase-out, which he walked back the next day.
• Saudi Arabia reportedly pressured the UAE to scrap any mention of fossil fuels from the COP28 agreement, according to Reuters. The head of OPEC, the group of oil-producing countries, also sent a letter to its member states urging them to reject mention of a phase-out.

What now? UN climate summit deals need unanimous approval to pass. With some representatives considering the current draft a “death sentence,” per Reuters, there will likely either be more revisions or no agreement at all.—ML

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Fortnite maker scores an epic win in Google antitrust suit. In a landmark verdict, the jury in Epic Games’s lawsuit against Google over fees charged by the Google Play Store found that the tech giant was operating an illegal monopoly. Although Google has said it will challenge the decision, and a judge has not yet ruled what penalty may be appropriate, it’s possible that Google will have to make significant changes to how it runs the app store. If Epic being involved in a major antitrust lawsuit sounds familiar, that’s because it’s also been embroiled in a similar years-long battle against Apple—though it’s been less successful there so far.

Special counsel asks SCOTUS to decide if Trump has immunity. Special Counsel Jack Smith asked the Supreme Court to decide whether former President Donald Trump can be prosecuted for crimes he allegedly committed while in office—even though an appeals court has not considered that yet. This unusual request, which marks the first time the high court has been asked to weigh a criminal case against Trump, is an effort to keep the case concerning Trump’s alleged efforts to subvert the 2020 election moving swiftly after a federal judge found that Trump did not have immunity from prosecution. Letting the issue wind its way through an appeals court would likely push the start date of the trial, currently set for March 4, until after the presidential election.

Occidental Petroleum makes the latest big energy industry deal. The company has agreed to buy oil driller CrownRock, which operates in the Permian Basin, for $12 billion. It’s the biggest deal for Occidental since it snagged a $10 billion investment from Berkshire Hathaway to take over Anadarko Petroleum in 2019. And it comes as major oil and gas players are snapping up other companies to secure their supplies, including Exxon Mobil’s $60 billion purchase of Pioneer Natural Resources and Chevron’s $53 billion deal for Hess.

Investing pros are apparently losing more sleep over V. Putin’s next move than any of J. Powell’s plans. Geopolitical risk is the most cited macroeconomic concern by 500 international institutional investors who were asked about their 2024 outlook by financial firm Natixis.

Their preoccupation with “geopolitical bad actors” that could upend global markets doesn’t come out of the blue. The survey took place as the Israel-Hamas war erupted and amid the ongoing conflict in Ukraine, both of which have dampened investor optimism.

Looming threats

For 2024, money managers are fretting about a chaotic US election; rising tensions with China; the fragmentation of the world economy; and growing cooperation between Russia, Iran and North Korea. More than half of respondents saw a recession next year as inevitable, with fraught geopolitics ranking above other sources of potential market pain…

• Harmful political actors are an anxiety inducer for 49% of investors, about on par with a drop in consumer spending (48%).
• Meanwhile, central bank policy errors inspire worry in 42% of finance wonks, and 30% are uneasy about China’s economic woes.

The need to brush up on our Model UN skills is echoed by BlackRock, which recently said that geopolitical events now have longer lasting market effects than they used to.

In more troubling news…The number of wars around the globe is at a three-decade high—and it will likely keep rising, per the International Institute for Strategic Studies.—SK

The dream of blue bubbles for all is alive: Less than three days after Apple effectively blocked the new iMessaging app for Androids, Beeper is back and beeping away. But…whether or not it’ll stay around is a different story.

Beeper launched last week, only to be shut down in a matter of days when Apple implemented blocks to prevent the app from working, claiming that Beeper “posed significant risks to user security and privacy” (which Beeper denies). Yesterday, after a short hiatus, the app was back up and running using a new workaround.

The saga is part of a larger effort to democratize the group chat: Other companies have tried to make it easier for Android and iPhone users to text, including Nothing Chats, which launched splashily last month but was soon shut down following reports that its servers stored non-encrypted user data.

Apple doesn’t want those blue bubbles to get less exclusive—just ask Tim Cook, who once responded to a question about Android/iPhone messaging at a conference with the directive, “Buy your mom an iPhone.”

But…that doesn’t mean it won’t happen. In November, Apple said it was working on its own fix to improve messaging between Androids and IPhones as it faces pressure from competitors like Google and Nothing.—CC

Stat: If you’re headed to Xfinity Live! one of these days, don’t be surprised to see President Biden riding the bull. The commander-in-chief made his 19th visit as president to Philadelphia yesterday, making it the city he’s dropped in on the most outside of his home state of Delaware since being sworn in, per the Washington Post. NYC comes in second to the city it considers its annoying little brother, with 11 Biden visits. Why does Biden keep pushing his tush to Philly? It’s easy to get to from DC, plus it’s in a swing state and has great backdrops for patriotic photo ops.

Quote: “It was not easy, but it was worth it.”

Here’s a story to help get you ready to laugh it off when your aunt insists on listing your younger cousin’s many accomplishments over the holidays. In California, Peter Park, who was sworn in as an attorney at age 18 yesterday, is believed to be the youngest person ever to pass the state bar exam (he was 17 then). But of course, Park wasn’t just some whippersnapper when he sat the exam—he took the bar so young because he’d started high school and a law school program simultaneously at age 13 in 2019, and had graduated from both.

Read: The hottest job in the US pays $80,000 a year, no college degree needed—it’s wind turbine technician. (Businessweek)

For your next bar crawl: Here’s a map of the US states where famous cocktails were created.

Up your mental game: Get inspired by this clip of tennis great Novak Djokovic.

Watch: Olivia Rodrigo sings songs that probably make her exes uncomfortable at her Tiny Desk Concert.

What you’re searching for: These are the most Googled terms of 2023.

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