Who’s clearing the air…

The Pentagon. Yesterday, it revealed that Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin’s secretive hospitalization was related to prostate cancer treatment. Last week, Austin landed in the ICU after developing complications from a minimally invasive surgery on Dec 22 to treat the cancer. Austin didn’t tell the White House or Congress about his condition for days. President Biden first learned about Austin’s cancer diagnosis yesterday. Republican lawmakers say Austin acted recklessly, leaving US military leadership in doubt. Pentagon officials maintain Austin’s hospitalization didn’t put national security at risk, adding that his diagnosis is “deeply personal.” But after being left in the dark, the Biden admin is now requiring Cabinet members to keep the White House up-to-date on anything that may affect their duties.

What’s saying “it wasn’t me”…

The Securities and Exchange Commission. Yesterday, the price of bitcoin briefly spiked to nearly $48,000 after the SEC appeared to tweet that it approved bitcoin ETFs. Plot twist: It wasn’t the SEC. The agency said its account on X had been “compromised” and that it hasn’t signed off on the ETFs, or exchange-traded funds. It comes as crypto investors have been waiting for the SEC to give its stamp of approval. An ETF is a kind of investment fund that Americans have thrown at least $4 trillion into and could provide more regulated crypto trade. Now, the fake post is raising concerns about possible market manipulation, with some Republicans calling on the SEC to answer questions about what happened. Meanwhile, the SEC could reportedly approve bitcoin ETFs as soon as today.

Who’s got a bone to pick…

Bill Ackman. Yesterday, the hedge fund billionaire doubled down on his comments against Business Insider’s articles about his wife, former MIT professor Neri Oxman. Last week, BI published reports saying Oxman plagiarized parts of her 2010 dissertation, pulling content from Wikipedia and omitting quotation marks in several excerpts. Oxman said "I regret and apologize for these errors" and will update her work. Ackman, who helped lead the campaign against Harvard’s former president Claudine Gay in part because of plagiarism allegations, suggested anti-Zionism is at play in BI's reporting. He pressed BI’s owner, the German company Axel Springer, to investigate the journalists’ work. Now, Axel Springer said it's reviewing the articles and motivation behind them. The journalists said they’re “disappointed” with the decision and stand behind their work.

Who’s got a new office…

Gabriel Attal. Yesterday, French President Emmanuel Macron picked 34-year-old Attal to be France’s new prime minister. This makes Attal the youngest person in French modern history — and first gay man — to take on the role. Most recently, he served as education minister and made headlines for signing off on a controversial ban of the abaya (a robe-like dress worn by Muslim women) in public schools. Some view Attal’s appointment as Macron's attempt to re-energize his government, which has struggled following pension and immigration reforms.

While the Mandalorian and Grogu have a new adventure coming…

NASA is holding off on its lunar plans.

Who’s giving “Chicken Little” vibes…

A physics teacher.

Who “ain't into makin’ love”...

50 Cent.