No, the United States government does not have alien bodies hiding somewhere, nor has it ever tried to reverse-engineer flying saucers. Really.

That’s one of the main stances that the All-domain Anomaly Resolution Office (AARO), an organization created in 2022 to resolve sightings of Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena (UAP), asserts in a report published Friday.

UAP is the modern moniker for UFO. Intelligence officials avoided reusing the popular term because it’s too closely associated, nowadays, with little green men.

The 63-page-long document is the first volume in a series of investigations into U.S. government programs through history that have been a springboard for alleged paranormal-related activity. “To date, AARO has found no verifiable evidence for claims that the U.S. government and private companies have access to or have been reverse-engineering extraterrestrial technology,” the statement says.

Hours into using the PlayStation Pulse Elite wireless headset, I realize I’d rather not game with these on. Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth is a full blast of noise, an orchestral symphony of boss battles and power moves, and the 3D Audio just makes it sound rowdier. Maybe if I had roommates or needed a bit more privacy, I’d consign myself to wearing these, but for the most part, I mainly use the Pulse Elite to listen to music.

At a glance, the Pulse Elite fits in with the sleek aesthetic of the PlayStation 5, the Portal “handheld,” and an assortment of other Sony accessories. You’ll look like a real gamer while brandishing the PS5’s sleek aesthetic on your head. It’s kind of like being a walking and talking PS5 mannequin.

Assuming you’re okay with that, why not embrace looking like a cyborg of the future? Wearing the headset on the streets, you’ll probably get some very weird looks, but pay them no mind. What does the average passersby know about fashion, anyway?