RadReads​ - Do you think I look like Neymar?

I was 25 and in the lobby of the Beijing JW Marriott.

A group of teenagers pointed and giggled, thinking I was Neymar. The Brazilian soccer star.

I spent much of my life hiding from my Asian heritage. And being confused for a (handsome) Brazilian athlete was dope.

But I’ve since begun to embrace my culture. And it has moved my soul.

This week, on a solo episode of The Examined Life Podcast, Khe asks the question:

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My top 3 takeaways

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​Embrace shape-shifting

We’re told to be authentic. To always be our true selves. But I can strategize with McKinsey consultants, crush beers with frat bros and talk SEO with creators. And it helped me break the bamboo ceiling.

→ Watch the clip
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Become comfortable with conflict

A stereotype of Asian men is that we avoid conflict. I was also shy and insecure. But the real world has conflict. And learning to embrace it involves confidence, catastrophizing, emotions and narrative-building.

→ Watch the clip​
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If you’re called to service, listen

Volunteering for the PTA. A shift at the soup kitchen. Chaperoning a field trip. We all get opportunities to volunteer. But how often do you get to align with something that’s part of you?

→ Watch the clip​

From our sponsors:

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My favorite quote: Finding what my soul was missing

Why this episode matters to me

One of the Kens in the Barbie movie is a buff Asian dude.

(Who also happens to be a Marvel Superhero.)

This DID NOT exist in my childhood — and I cleverly used every tool I had to escape my “Asian-ness.”

Truth be told, I wanted to fit into “White Culture” (and date white women).

But whenever you ignore parts of yourself, you’re not living truthfully.

For decades, I felt a lot of shame about being Asian. I ignored it.

(As Lisa often says, “I forget you’re an Asian guy.”)

And serendipitously, this identity is finding me — at a deep and beautiful level.

If you want to dig deeper

This (cheap) webinar The Unmetabolized Ambiguous Grief of Adult Children of Refugees was one of the most moving descriptions of how many of my southeast Asian peers grew up.

Love letters from our fans

"My friend was like, 'I love that guy!'...And then the whole table talked about [Khe]"

Hope you enjoy the episode,

Khe

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