The Cut - The Secret Shame of Smoking Moms

I wish I could say that I ever tried to hide my smoking from my children, but the reality is that I couldn’t, because I was around them all the time and I also smoked all the time. When I switched to vaping after about a year into my midlife relapse with Camel Lights, I thought I’d be able to be subtle about my habit — maybe they wouldn’t even notice! But my 8-year-old still gives me a hard time about it every time he sees a Juul cupped in my palm. He’s right to be affronted, of course: Using nicotine is unequivocally very bad for you. It’s also, unfortunately, what gets me through my days. Those days start at 6:30, include a full-time job bracketed by child care, and don’t end ’til the kids finally pass out around nine, at which point my husband and I watch an episode of Better Call Saul, then try to be in bed by ten so we can face the next day’s challenges. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is reach for my Juul, like Gollum cradling his precious. I live in fear of running out of a charge or cartridges.

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What a day! In non-earthquake-related news, state lawmakers in California, Vermont, and Colorado are working to ban the sale of period products containing highly toxic “forever chemicals.” CVS prescription-drug plans will cover the first nonprescription birth-control pill in the U.S., eliminating a potential cost barrier for many women. This Italian island overrun by goats is offering them free to anyone who can catch them. This week in petty fashion-industry feuds. The president of Botswana is threatening to send 20,000 elephants to Germany. What to know about the roiling debate over rising maternal mortality rates in the U.S. Check here to see how cloudy your area will be for the solar eclipse. Meet the Costco shoppers putting $2,000 gold bars in their shopping carts. And keep it up, Joe.

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