How many celebs does it take to tell the Pop-Tart origin story?

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John P. Johnson / Netflix

Following the release of Barbie, it quickly became clear that products were going to become the next movie stars. Mattel announced plans for more than a dozen films based on its most beloved toys, and now Jerry Seinfeld is getting in on the action with Unfrosted, his long-awaited film about the origins of the Pop-Tart. 

Unfrosted began, as you might expect with a comedian at the helm, as a joke. Seinfeld has espoused his love for the foil-wrapped breakfast pastry in various stand-up sets throughout the years, including in his 2020 Netflix special 23 Hours to Kill. Apparently, Netflix’s executives found the joke so funny that they gave Seinfeld $70 million to make it into a real-deal film with a star-studded cast that includes Melissa McCarthy, Hugh Grant, Dan Levy, and Christian Slater, among other comedy heavyweights. 

Set for release on May 3, the first glimpse of Unfrosted came last week, via a trailer that kicks off with a toaster fashioned like a rocket ship. It dramatizes the already juicy story of how two companies, Kellogg’s and Post, engaged in an arms race to create the first shelf-stable breakfast pastry in the 1960s. Thanks to a couple of business bumbles from Post, Kellogg’s won, and the Pop-Tart became a breakfast icon. (Post developed the decidedly less popular Toast’em Pop-Ups, originally called Country Squares, which are still on the market but don’t occupy the same place in the zeitgeist.) 

Seinfeld’s film dramatizes the conflict, with police-style interrogations about potential pastry espionage and absurd gags involving Bill Burr as a surprisingly convincing John F. Kennedy. In turning what was mostly a bunch of boring corporate jockeying into what he hopes is a compelling story, though, Seinfeld has, perhaps irreparably, blurred the lines between a passion project biopic and outright sponsored content. And beyond the long list of celebrity cameos, why in the world would anyone want to watch that? 

It’s looking like Barbie, a film that deeply (and unexpectedly) explores the entire concept of womanhood, is going to be a rare exception in this new world of product-based films. With Unfrosted, Seinfeld isn’t telling us anything new about Pop-Tarts, he’s just making a bunch of goofy jokes with his friends. Do viewers really care about the origins of the Pop-Tart? Are there specific characters or themes that audiences will find themselves invested in? Nope. Instead, we’re supposed to appreciate the story because Seinfeld thinks it’s worth telling. 

Unlike toys, which you can actually apply some human characteristics to, a Pop-Tart is simply a Pop-Tart. And there’s nothing wrong with that! (If anything, one could argue that many potential viewers would like to see their food humanized less: Remember just a few months ago, when they lowered a Pop-Tart mascot into a (fake) toaster after the 2023 Pop-Tarts Bowl, and then ate him?) To me, though, there isn’t 90 minutes’ worth of feature film-quality content in a movie about a Pop-Tart, no matter how many celebrities and famous comedians Seinfeld wants to throw into the mix. 

More links:

• Brands have long competed to stock grocery store shelves with innovative ideas and creative, stunt-y product flavors. Case in point: Space-flavored everything.
•  The James Beard Foundation announced the finalists for its restaurant and chef awards earlier this week. Check out the full list here.
• In horrific news, seven members of World Central Kitchen were killed by a recent IDF strike while distributing humanitarian aid in Gaza. Read the victims’ names and learn more about the work that WCK has been doing in the region here.
• Finally, in smaller, less impactful happenings, the latest in aggravating, albeit inconsequential, restaurant trends: hilariously tiny water glasses. Sometimes, it really is the little things. —Amy McCarthy, reporter

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