How to share your point of view (even if you’re afraid of being wrong)
How to share your point of view (even if you’re afraid of being wrong)Sharing your point of view is one of the best ways to add value. So why do so many high performers hold back? Here's how to overcome this mental block so you can speak up and stand out.👋 Hey, it’s Wes. Welcome to my weekly newsletter where I share insights on managing up, driving growth, and standing out as a high performer. Apply to work with me 1:1 for executive coaching, or bring me on as a keynote speaker to speak with your team on becoming sharper ICs and leaders. I pour my strategic thinking and energy into helping my clients as a sparring partner and personal advisor. Hit reply or message me here. In this week’s newsletter, we’ll cover principles on how to feel more confident sharing your point of view.
Read time: 9 minutes Last month, I did a keynote talk for the wonderful folks at Grammarly HQ, and a great question came up in Q&A. I thought I’d share my reply below because I’ve heard this question over the years:
I believe many high-performers hold back from sharing their POV because generally people dislike being wrong. They don’t want to risk being embarrassed or getting into trouble. This fear is very reasonable. I can remember times in school when I said the wrong answer, everyone looked at me, and my face felt hot. It was unpleasant, and I learned to avoid being publicly wrong whenever possible. We are wired for self-preservation. And in certain work environments, sharing your point of view is legitimately risky. But I’ve also found that many high performers overly aggrandize this perceived risk in their own minds. Their managers keep saying “I want to hear from you” and “I want you to speak up more,” but they still don’t feel safe. So I should get this out of the way early: If you truly never want to be wrong, then you probably shouldn’t speak up. But if you do want to speak up, I’ve jotted some ways that helped me practice this skill. It took time to unlearn my “stay silent and be safe” mentality. It took baby steps of speaking up more until it started to feel like my new default. If you stay silent, you’ll never be noticed. You’ll never contribute the way you could if folks heard your voice. You’re actually robbing your organization of your insights. Luckily, it’s doable to build the muscle of sharing your point of view, and there are a few concepts that can make it easier. So when should you share your perspective? How do you practice this? Is it ever too early to speak up? Here’s how I decide when to speak up. 1. The more controversial the idea, the higher the burden of proof.The more controversial your point of view is, the more conviction and evidence you should try to gather before speaking up. This is because if you're making a big claim, you need to be able to back up the claim. As the saying goes, “If you come for the king, you best not miss.” For example, if you’re saying the company needs to completely change its focus, you should be prepared to present a strong business case for why and what to do instead. This isn't only about presenting to others—this is as much about vetting your own thinking. I actively try to argue the other side and poke holes to find the boundaries of my ideas:
If someone is going to ask me, I might as well ask myself first. This list of rigorous thinking questions is a good starting point. One simple way to test your own thinking is to try writing about your idea—usually when you write, you realize you don’t have as much clarity as you thought. Paul Graham has a great essay on why writing is a forcing function for clearer thinking and why writing is harder than speaking. The hardest part of writing, by far, is thinking. You can use this to your advantage because it’s a free way to test your own arguments. When in doubt, I recommend erring on the side of framing your idea with a smaller, more specific scope, and therefore a lower burden of proof. The benefit is you’ll sound more credible than if you were to make broad, sweeping statements that seem like obvious overreach. Once you gain conviction—and have more evidence to back up your claim—you can adjust your assertion to reflect your new higher level of conviction. 2. Update your own assumptions about how you add value.If you’re a high performer, you likely got to where you are because you’re able to climb any mountain put in front of you. You relied on raw effort and stamina. The problem is, this only takes you so far. You can’t only “do” more. If you don’t have a perspective, your growth is capped: You’re less valuable to your organization, and more easily replaceable. If I have to give you step by step instructions for everything, I can hire someone on Upwork pretty easily. That’s why if you want to continue to level up as an operator, you need to have a point of view. You need to help decide what problems to attack in the first place. You need to exercise discernment and good judgment. You need to constantly be forming and updating your hypotheses about what to do. In other words, your point of view becomes increasingly more valuable. Your POV distinguishes you from more junior folks, and distinguishes you from everyone else who has a similar background, skills, years of experience, etc. So yes, continue focusing on strong execution and putting in solid effort. But also, realize that your role isn’t only to do—it’s also your responsibility to develop and share your perspective on how to drive the business forward. 3. Share where your hunch is coming from—because it’s coming from somewhere.Let’s say you are on a interview hiring panel. You say, “I have the feeling this candidate is not a good fit.” Most people stop here. If you leave it at that, it’s too woo-woo and soft. How do I (your colleague) understand if your “feeling” is legit? How do I even begin to assess or discuss it? When you share your hunch, you must go a step further: You must explain where your hunch is coming from. Your hunches come from somewhere. You’ll realize it's from x or y data points, and you're subconsciously connecting the dots. I believe instinct is millions of subconscious data points accrued over time, reps, and lived experience. Especially when you’re building something new, there’s often not enough data to “prove” that you should do x or y. It could go either way, and you can’t or won’t know until 3-6 months later if you were right. What does this mean? It means you need to get good at explaining your hunches in a way that sounds more objective and allows others to vet the idea. And this starts with realizing your hunches are, many times, grounded in subconscious data points you picked up on but haven’t taken the time to articulate. Once you realize your hunch is rooted in evidence, it becomes easier to explain. It becomes less of a random musing, and more of an insight rooted in data points, experiences, and pattern matching. The next step is to explain to others, so they can see how you arrived at your hunch. When you share your thought process with more specificity like this, you allow others to agree with or challenge specific parts. 4. Describe why the problem matters, so people understand why you’re speaking up.I like to kick off by describing why I think a topic matters because this helps folks understand what’s at stake. It makes their ears perk up. If they understand the problem, they’re more likely to appreciate your insight and recommendation. You’ve probably heard the adage “No pain, no sale.” My riff on this is “No perceived problem, no appreciation for the solution.” If people don’t think there’s a problem, why would they listen? They’ll probably think, “Ugh, why is Tom talking about this again? Why bring this up?” Explaining the problem (before jumping to the solution) is a good move for everyone, but especially a great place to start for more junior folks. It establishes you as a strategic thinker who can zoom out. When I was fresh out of college, I thought I had to wait until I was more experienced and more senior to share my POV. Now, as a leader and manager, I love hearing perspectives from my junior team members. They have a different viewpoint, sometimes represent a different generation (Gen Z), and I'm eager to hear what they have to say. For example, junior folks often interact most directly with customers: answering support tickets, replying to comments on social media, answering questions in the community, etc. This gives you a rare look into what customers are reacting to. A good manager will want to hear this perspective:
Your manager may not remember to vocalize that they want you to speak up, so it’s up to you to volunteer your insights until they tell you to stop. If you’re junior, let this be your reminder that the encouragement to speak up applies to you, too. 5. Don’t rely on your credentials. Your idea should make sense on its own.One of my clients is a co-founder who has a VP of Growth who low-key doesn’t respect the co-founder’s perspective on growth because she’s “not a growth person.” This is one of the dumbest things I’ve heard. The co-founder drove sales/marketing, customer acquisition, and go-to-market for years before making a growth hire. Domain expertise absolutely matters. But don’t immediately discount other people’s perspectives because they lack the right title or credentials. You should evaluate an idea based on its merit. On the flip side, it’s lazy thinking to rely on your own title/credentials to compel people to listen to you. “Pulling rank” in this way might work with some folks. But if you work with smart people, many of them won’t care if you’re a “product expert” or “marketing expert” or whatever expert. Per rigorous thinking, everyone is welcome to share ideas—as long as you support those ideas with evidence, logic, and rationale. This means, regardless of your title as the messenger, your idea should hold water, be rooted in logic, and make sense.
Even if you aren’t an expert, you should share your POV as long as you include your thought process, evidence, and rationale to support your perspective. This serves as an equalizer and encourages junior folks to speak up even if they have less experience. It reduces the chances that folks rely on credentials/years of experience to be taken seriously, and allows all ideas to be evaluated on their merit. If you have strong logic, this should help you feel more confident that your idea is rooted in reality and has a sound premise. When you bring up an idea this way, I’ve found most people are pretty open to hearing you out. 6. Use language that accurately reflects your level of certainty.Popular advice says to avoid qualifiers because they weaken your statements. But qualifiers like might, could, tends, and perhaps serve a purpose because they reflect your level of certainty. For example, “This will X” vs “This tends to X” are not the same thing. The former is a guaranteed promise, while the latter acknowledges that outcomes may vary. It’s a pet peeve of mine when people talk as if they have absolute certainty when I know they couldn’t possibly be as certain as they sound. If I know you are someone who aggrandizes, I have to adjust everything you say for the curve. Basically I need to discount, which requires going an extra step to mentally “adjust” your claims. Why put that burden on your listener? You don’t need to speak in an overly confident way to seem more credible. Speak in a way that reflects your actual degree of certainty—this is what actually builds trust and increases your credibility.
*** We all have lots of ideas and reactions throughout the week, but not every musing meets the bar for sharing out loud. But if you believe your point of view will help the business, I believe you almost have a moral responsibility to share your thoughts. So the question is: Are you the kind of person who speaks up, respectfully and with evidence to back up your claims? If you’re bold enough to share your perspective, you may be rewarded. Maybe not immediately, but likely over time. Leaders (and coworkers) appreciate folks who are willing to put skin in the game. Thanks for being here. I’ll see you next Wednesday at 8am ET. Wes PS If this newsletter resonates with you, here are three more ways I can help:
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