Ask 3 questions to be a team player like NBA's Tatum

After defeating the Dallas Mavericks to take a 2-0 lead in the NBA finals this past weekend, Boston Celtics player Jayson Tatum downplayed his relatively low scoring by saying he won't allow his ego to damage his team's chances to win, recalling the slogan, "Do whatever it takes, for however long it takes." Author, speaker and consultant Justin Bariso writes that Tatum's attitude embodies emotionally intelligent leadership and offers three questions leaders can ask themselves to be an effective team player like Tatum.

Put it into practice: Put your ego aside and allow your teammates to shine in some areas, even if it's an area where you excel, Bariso writes. Being flexible in this way and giving others some time in the spotlight can enhance team effectiveness and satisfaction.

A teammate who chronically complains may be addicted to such negative thinking, so leaders must create a boundary, have compassion for them and redirect the conversation toward positive solution-seeking, writes Ilene Cohen, a psychotherapist who teaches in the Department of Counseling at Barry University. "By understanding the reasons behind their behavior and using strategic approaches to redirect conversations, you can create healthier relationships while protecting yourself from the negative effects of constant complaining," Cohen concludes.

Put it into practice: Cohen offers an example of how a conversation with a chronic complainer may go, showing you how to steer them away from negativity into gratitude and a positive problem-solving mindset. "Dealing with chronic complainers may require a careful balance of compassion, boundaries and proactive communication."

Leaders can avoid "carewashing" -- giving lip service to well-being in the workplace but doing little to truly help their employees thrive -- by asking workers what they need, admitting leadership doesn't have all the answers and putting policies and practices in place that promote well-being, write Maren Gube, executive director of Resiliti and Cynthia Mathieu, a professor of at the University of Quebec in Trois-Rivieres. "In a true culture of care, leaders create a well-tuned sense of trust that allows employees to share their struggles, needs, and aspirations in a safe environment," they write.

Put it into practice: Hiring and promoting leaders who are good listeners, empathetic and caring can help embed a culture of caring into the organization's value system, Gube and Mathieu note. "Be transparent in your care efforts and acknowledge where they fall short."

Pause, then discuss. The majority of you (84%) recognize when a discussion is getting heated and insert a pause to calm things down and continue the conversation when it can be productive.

Having this self-awareness is critical -- especially for leaders. It's easy to let our emotions get the better of us. If you know there are people, topics or situations that create the risk of you getting heated, go into those discussions prepared to hit the pause button.

Carrying that awareness into the interaction will help you slow things down and arrest the discussion before it spirals out of control. A pause -- whether it be for a minute or a few days -- can save a relationship and result in a much better outcome for all involved.

-- Mike Figliuolo is managing director of thoughtLEADERS, which includes TITAN -- the firm's e-learning platform. Previously, he worked at McKinsey & Co., Capital One and Scotts Miracle-Gro. He is a West Point graduate and author of three leadership books: "One Piece of Paper," "Lead Inside the Box" and "The Elegant Pitch."

The best leaders "have a very strong set of values and live those values," are genuine and can admit their mistakes and learn from them, says Bill Ford, the executive chair of Ford Motor Company and a great-grandson of the automaker's founder, Henry Ford. "I still see a lot of people in important positions who portray themselves as infallible. Well, that's not possible, and I think that really stops you from learning," Ford says.

Welsh mechanic Dylan Phillips attached a motor and parts of a scooter to a wheelbarrow in his shed and used it recently to earn a Guinness World Record for the fastest wheelbarrow after pushing the contraption to go 52 mph, besting the old record of 46 mph. Phillips says riding his creation is "uncomfortable, and it's terrifying" since there are only brakes on the front, but adds that, so far, he hasn't wrecked his souped-up gardening accessory.

Having a constant complainer on your team can be exhausting. In one past radio job, we had one guy who convened lunchtime meetings at a local restaurant to vent his frustration with management. We all had the same complaints, and in some ways, the grumbling session was cathartic, but overall, it was ineffective -- so much so that those of us who could leave for new jobs did. I was among them.

That guy who complained so loudly? Today, he still works there with the same manager he claimed to disdain.

Leaders need to understand that constant complainers will drive away their best talent. Getting it under control by showing empathy, as Ilene Cohen suggests, but directing the complainer into positive ways to solve problems and handle challenges can go a long way to easing any tension in the office and neutralizing the complainer.

A chronic complainer may just be addicted to complaining, but they may also hold the key to some deeper dissatisfaction among your team. It pays to listen to them, but you also need a buffer so you don't catch their complaining bug.

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