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Note from the (Guest!) Editor
Hi
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Iβm Sahaj Kohli, and Iβm so thrilled to be the guest editor this week, as we explore mental health and how we all deal with ours a little differently. Iβm a writer, a South Asian American, and am currently in graduate school studying to be a mental health therapist/counselor. So it's probably a surprise to no one that I love the month of May, when we take time to recognize Mental Health Awareness Month and Asian Pacific American Heritage Month.
Recently, Iβve been thinking a lot more about how my bicultural identity shapes and affects the way I show up in my everyday life. As a child of immigrants, my dual identities often pull me in various directions simultaneously. While I have the freedom to pick and choose from both cultures and communities, sometimes I also feel isolated and like I donβt truly belong in either.
Enter Brown Girl Therapy, a wellness and mental health community I created for first- and second-generation immigrants. I created this community because I found myself constantly curating who I was in different circles to feel accepted. I wanted a space where I could honestly explore what it meant to be bicultural, to be the first in my family to marry outside of my race and culture, and to educate on, promote, and normalize therapy and support-seeking behaviors in marginalized communities.
Iβve had the privilege to be able to approach this work from the inside as a future mental health professional, but presently I find myself on the outside. I recently moved to a new city and have decided that itβs time to find a new therapist. As Iβve broken this down, I wanted to share a few quick tips here for anyone else who may be looking:
1) Get clear on your why. What are present struggles you want to work through? What are you hoping to get out of therapy?
2) Ask around. Ask trusted friends for referrals, scope out databases like Psychology Today or Open Path Collective, and/or call your insurance company for a list of in-network providers.
3) Set up a lot of consultations. Itβs exhausting but finding the right fit is important. Know that these initial calls are as much about them getting to know you as it is you getting to know them. Ask them about their work or what therapy looks like in the room with them. For folks like me where finding a culturally-affirming therapist is of the utmost importance, make sure you ask the therapists about their experience working with/for diverse clients, and ask how they incorporate multiculturalism into their work.
Finding a therapist can be daunting but here's the thing: itβs worth doing the work to find a good fit. The number one indicator for success in therapy is the relationship between the therapist and client, and just like you donβt vibe with everyone, you wonβt vibe with every therapist. Stay patient with yourself through the process. Therapy is a great tool for healing and growth, but you are not broken. You do not need fixing. You are enough, and that's what I want you to know above all else.
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Take care,
Sahaj Kohli, @sahajkohli
@browngirltherapy | Newsletter
P.S. What's helped you most as you've looked for a therapist? I want to know! Reply to this email and the GNI team may round up some tips for the whole community to share.
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P.P.S. A note from the GNI Team: "Thanks to everyone who wrote in last week to let us know how you're dealing with everything right now. We rounded up your thoughts in this post that includes some VHT (very helpful tips!)."
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this week's picks
what we're enjoying this weekend
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- A new way to self-soothe... β‘οΈThis is not a drill β you can listen to Daniel Radcliffe (with the promise of more at-home celeb readings to come for future chapters).
- A new grocery list hack to save some stress. π "I've been stressing so much lately about my weekly grocery trip so last week I decided to streamline my approach. I ." - Alisha, Founder at GNI
- A treat for your brain by The Great Courses Plus... π In the new now, we're finding comfort by learning in our spare time. The over 11,000 on-demand video lectures by The Great Courses Plus are teaching us about topics like literature and gourmet cooking. GNI readers can get a free month trial with their best pricing β$10 per month for a quarterly subscription. #SPONSORSTHING
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The show that's really getting us in our feelings... π "I can't stop thinking about Normal People. It's one of the few shows I've ever watched that stacks up to the book. It covers tough topics like depression and long-distance relationships, but well; and I'm so impressed by how much of the book they were able to keep intact." - Jordan, GNI Team
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What I'm stress-buying this week... π "Pampas grass to cheer me up (and quench my need to put plants everywhere in my house), a new fruit bowl to accommodate our longer stretches between grocery trips, and this tinted moisturizer that's a little lighter since I'm not going out much (at all) these days." - Olivia, GNI Team
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Scrolling with care... β€οΈ "Instagram definitely isn't therapy, but there are some therapists, writers, activists, and artists I enjoy following for mental health tips and reminders. My favorites right now are: @lisaoliveratherapy, @drjennhardy, @alex_elle, @livinlikeLARZ, and @millennial.therapist." - Jenna, GNI Team
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Now that none of us are shopping IRL anymoreβ¦ π "Honey is a magical browser extension for online shopping. It searches through potential coupon codes for you and automatically applies the best deal to your cart. Itβs SO easy and Iβve used it dozens of times on everything from bedding to clothes to kitchen goods. It's basically free money.β - Alisha, Founder at GNI #SPONSORSTHING
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Your plans for this Saturday at noon... π©βπ³ We're going live on @girlsnightinclub with Hitha Palepu to talk about motherhood, her mutli-hyphenate life, and how she's ~dealing~ with it all right now.
π And don't forget... it's Mother's Day this weekend. Our team rounded up our favorite gifts for mom here.
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sponsor spotlight: Holt & Company
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Trust us β this read's got all of the drama you've been craving π
Teenage love. Drama class. The quintessential, charismatic teacher. Not to mention, this book won the 2019 National Book Award for Fiction! What more could we want out of a cozy at-home companion? Reading is a huge part of how we're dealing with ~things~ lately, and Trust Exercise by Susan Choi is up next on our list. Plus, it's now available in paperback thanks to our friends at Holt & Company.
Why don't you read along with us? GNI readers can buy a copy of Trust Exercise now by clicking this link.
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smart reads of the week
send these to the group chat β¨
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Shoutout to the moms. π€ This package of essays beautifully illustrates all the ways motherhood changes us β our instincts, our fears, our resolve, our joy, our body image, and beyond. (Also a great read if you're taking a minute to tip your hat to the moms in your life this weekend.)
Read this if you have a lot of feelings about Nancy Meyers's kitchens. π©βπ³ You know what we're talking about β the stark white cabinets, the kitchen island bigger than most Brooklyn apartments, the double oven, a backsplash you chose YOURSELF!! But what happens after you have all those things and it's time to actually enjoy them? This piece investigates.
*Blink 182 voice* ALL the SMALL things... πΆ are keeping us afloat right now. When things around us get big, we love the "get small" approach. Thinking about each week in smaller sections, embracing petite moments of joy, or leaning into the little things that we can control can have a very profound effect, even if β everything feels like Little House on the Prairie crossed with Mad Max.β
"For the first time, it seems, the entire world knows what itβs like to live inside my head." β€οΈ Okay, two ground rules: 1) Mental illness and mental health look different for everyone, and 2) we can learn a lot β and even find community and understanding β by reading about others' experiences. This reflection on living through ~this moment in time~ with PTSD is an important one.
Bonus read: Why googly eyes are the trend you didn't know you needed right now. π
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some helpful resources
if you're looking for therapy or support right now
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