The wackiest headlines from the week as they would appear in a Classifieds section.

Careers

METH MELON SALES: Authorities found two tons of meth poorly disguised as fruit at the US–Mexico border. The crafty offenders wrapped bundles of the drug in colored tape to look like watermelons and mixed them with real watermelons to evade detection—but authorities saw through the juicy farce.

HOT GAMERS WANTED: A study published by the National Bureau of Economic Research found that more attractive adults are less likely to spend time gaming than less attractive adults because better-looking adults have more close friends.

Personal

ISO BRIDGE-PLAYING ROOMMATE: Climbing rents are forcing more boomers to bunk up, resulting in a surge in “boommates,” or boomer roommates, across US cities, Bloomberg reported. You may have to help your roomie out of the shower, but they’ll never leave the lights on.

MISSING KIWIS: More than 1,500 people are leaving New Zealand each week due to the high cost of living and lack of economic mobility. Half of those who leave head to Australia in search of a higher-paying job and top-tier surf and turf.

For sale

GYMNASTICS EQUIPMENT (USED): The Lord of the Pommel Horse, US Olympian Stephen Nedoroscik, is trading the gym floor for the dance floor this fall as a contestant on the upcoming season of Dancing With the Stars.

WONKA’S HOME: The one-time home of Willy Wonka actor Gene Wilder may end up on the market. Elon Musk, who once owned the house, loaned money to Wilder’s nephew to buy it from him in 2020 but is now foreclosing on the property. Downside: They can’t evict the ghost of Augustus Gloop.—CC

Photo of the week

Here’s the view of a restaurant in Poland that’s raising the bar on outdoor dining by raising you and 21 of your hungriest adventure-seeking friends 50 meters (164 feet) into the air via crane. Wait staff make the one-hour vertical journey as well, so if you’re tipping 20% on the ground, maybe bump that number up a bit after you finish your meal in the lower atmosphere.

To answer your first and most obvious question—yes, “Dinner in the Sky” recommends using the bathroom before going up in the air, because the table will only be lowered for emergencies and won’t be raised again. As for your safety concerns, guests are strapped into a chair with belts, which gives loosening your belt after a meal a whole new meaning.

Dinner in the Sky is available in more than 60 countries, including the US.—DL

Dept. of Progress

Here are some illuminating scientific discoveries from the week to help you live better and maybe even watch an entire TikTok before scrolling.

A mysterious space signal’s source may be found. Forty-seven years after an Ohio observatory picked up the Wow! signal (a strong, inexplicable transmission that sparked alien conspiracies), astrophysicists think they may have figured out what caused all that noise. A new project dedicated to unraveling the mystery made a breakthrough when researchers found records of similar narrow-frequency signals picked up from a rare event in which a massive hydrogen cloud came into contact with a magnetic field, causing it to emit a bright light, which could also account for the Wow! signal’s power. Aliens would’ve been fun, though.

Spiders are using fireflies as bait. Web-weavers aren’t just creepy—they’re clever, too. Their freaky little brains are on full display in China, where a common nocturnal spider plays male fireflies like a fiddle. The Araneus ventricosus has figured out how to force the ones that get stuck in its web to mimic the flashes of female fireflies, which then reel in more male fireflies that think they’re flying after a potential wife, researchers observed. This discovery might sound small, but it’s astonishing because most animals haven’t ever been seen physically manipulating their prey’s behavior (except parasites).

Skipping through videos makes you more bored. Uh oh, how we spend our passive consumption is how we spend our lives . And if you’re quickly switching from viral clip to viral clip during your scroll time, or scrubbing through videos rather than watching them in full, you could be making your life even more boring, according to a new study from the University of Toronto. When undergraduates were allowed to skip around within a video, they felt more uninterested than when they could not fast-forward or rewind. Students also felt more engaged when forced to watch a single 10-minute-long video vs. being allowed to skip around a bunch of five-minute videos, the researchers found.—ML

The economics of Burning Man

Sandy dust is preparing to encroach on the third eyes of pilgrims lining up at the gate of Burning Man, the annual celebration of artistic expression and decommodified communal living that’s kicking off this weekend in the Nevada desert.

Tracing its roots to an intimate counterculture bash on a San Francisco beach in 1986, it’s billed as an escape from the confines of capitalistic society, where attendees come to vibe, share resources, and marvel at trippy artwork.

But this anti-commercial ethos belies the economic realities that make the kaleidoscope of experiences possible.

• The ephemeral metropolis takes gargantuan resources to set up and relies on over 70,000 attendees—among them legions of Silicon Valley high-earners and various VIPs—who pay $575+ for entry.
• The economics came to the fore this year, as there were fewer takers than spots available, with the event not selling within hours of the sales launch for the first time since 2011 and discounted tickets still available on the resale market as of Friday.

So, let’s gaze beyond Burning Man’s anti-materialism aura and glean some insight into the market forces that keep the flame going at Black Rock City.

Burning finances

As the event grew from a gathering of 80 hippies run by three people to a mainstay of the social calendar for white-collar attendees from around the world, its organizational structure evolved.

Since 2012, the nonprofit Burning Man Project has ensured the Black Rock Desert air gets filled with Goa trance sound every year in a fiscally sustainable way. It lost money during the pandemic, but in 2022, the organization had $4 million left over after covering expenses.

• It raked in $62 million, mostly from entry charges and fees paid by burners, with philanthropists donating an additional ~$10 million.
• Over $58 million was spent on Black Rock City and related programs, as well as paying people involved, including the six-figure salaries of the nonprofit’s executives like CEO (and veteran burner) Marian Goodell, who earned $346k that year.

The organization employs 160 people year-round and hires additional staff for the event, including medical workers and cleanup crews. It also pays local law enforcement’s staffing costs and shells out $3 million for a permit from the federal Bureau of Land Management.

Northern Nevada estimates that the event brings at least $60 million to the local economy, mostly in the form of vacation spending by the overwhelmingly well-off crowd that flocks to the region.

Bougie burners

Black Rock City has gentrified over the years, with more than 60% of burners part of a household that made at least six figures in 2023, according to the Burning Man census. Last year, the share of burners with a household income of $300k+ was 18%, up from 7% in 2015.

That checks out, given that the pilgrimage is not budget-friendly. Aside from a ticket, the cost of food, supplies, and travel adds up to at least $1,000 per person (and that’s for those prepared for monklike conditions), according to burner testimonies.

Attendees with the deepest pockets fly in on private aircraft and decamp to glampsites replete with luxury amenities and sometimes populated by recognizable figures like Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, Sam Altman, and other tech VIPs for whom the event has become a schmoozefest.

The societal disparities at the festival might sound antithetical to its communal leanings, but its founders have said the people paying for add-ons subsidize the limited number of reduced-price tickets available to low-income attendees.

Zoom out: Despite self-reliance being a cornerstone of Burning Man’s philosophy, even the most devoted adherents acknowledge that it’s not insulated from external economic forces. Slow ticket sales for this year’s festival have been blamed on the sour aftertaste from the rainstorm that caused mucky mayhem at Burning Man last year, but some also attribute it to a slowing job market in the tech industry, which employs many of its habitual attendees.—SK

Place to be: Rage ritual retreats

It’s a big world out there. In this section, we’ll teleport you to an interesting location—and hopefully give you travel ideas in the process.

Sometimes the world makes you want to run into the woods and scream your head off. Enter rage ritual retreats, therapeutic places created for women to release their anger in a setting that’s free from society’s judgment.

Mia Magik is one of several spiritual entrepreneurs who have created extended escapes among the trees designed to alleviate fury through shouting and swinging sticks. Magik’s gatherings and others have boomed in popularity through viral social media posts, but to actually attend one, you’ll need to be rich with rage and rich with money.

• Retreats last several days and usually cost $2,000–$4,000. Magik, who also offers a six-week witch school program for $333, told USA Today that one-day versions of her rage ritual retreats will run you $222.
• It’s not just screaming. The most recent retreat in France included one-on-one coaching with Magik (a $10,000 value, she says), a sisterhood connection ceremony, nature meditation, and a moonlit self-love ritual.

Don’t bring the raging home with you. Magik says to avoid the temptation to take out anger on that person in front of you at Starbucks who needs venti explained to them a third time. And if you have to scream, she suggested to Fortune closing your bedroom door and screaming into a pillow, which is much cheaper than attending a rage ritual.—DL

Crowd work

Last time we asked: What is the worst corporate team-building event you’ve ever attended? Here are our favorite responses.

• “They booked a comedy club but didn’t want to pay for entertainment, so they had half a dozen members of middle management get up and share their personal stories as a tight five instead. We all left depressed and full of undercooked catering that made us sick.”—Gretchen from Virginia
• “I work at a resort and for a team building activity we took out the new e-bikes. We had a lovely 2 mile ride on the bike trail, stopped at the waterfront for team photos and then biked back without the new girl. It was only her second week and she didn’t know where anything was, didn’t have anyone’s phone numbers and called the front desk bawling. Go team!”—Annie from northern Michigan
• “During the pandemic, our analyst program decided to do an ice cream social over Zoom. They sent everyone a single $5 bill to purchase ice cream, and then we all had to eat said ice cream together from a scheduled 4–5pm meeting. Also, we got yelled at if we decided to turn our cameras off and enjoy our own ice cream in peace. This honestly ruined ice cream for me for about a day.”—Sumedha from Cincinnati, Ohio

This week’s question

What is one thing you wish you could do for the first time again?

Holly’s answer to get the juices flowing: “I wish I could sign up for Chewy again for the first time. That intro autoship discount is sweet.”

Share your response here.