How We Manage Chores (Without Losing Our Minds)
How We Manage Chores (Without Losing Our Minds)The chore-splitting strategy that brought *some* order back to our home. Plus, insights from an expert on how her family divides up tasks.This is the Tuesday post at Downtime (on a Wednesday today :)), a chance to slow down and take our time—featuring deep dives, personal essays, and interviews where I hope you’ll learn a thing or two and leave inspired.Having everything in its place is my key to truly kicking back and enjoying my downtime (see what I did there?). I need most of the chores checked off before I can sink into my couch and lose myself in a good book. (Hello, Type A life.) But when we had a baby, our home life was thrown into chaos for a few (okay, a lot of) months. Suddenly, my perfectly organized life became a distant memory as our old chore system crumbled under the weight of tiny socks and never-ending diaper duty. Once my husband and I went back to work after our respective leaves, things got even more hectic. You’re saying we’re meant to work our 9-5 jobs, take care of a tiny human before and after work, all while ensuring our electricity bill got paid on time, we filled out that one form for daycare, and maybe shower more than once a week?! I found myself near meltdown status, wondering, How do other parents do this without losing their minds? I was convinced there had to be some secret, maybe a magical parenting handbook everyone got except us. It quickly became clear that we needed a new plan to manage everything. So, one evening, we sat down, poured a glass of wine, and created a spreadsheet—yes, essentially an adult chore chart, color-coded for good measure. Because nothing says “we’ve got this under control” like a beautifully color-coded Excel sheet, right? :) Our biggest game changer? A weekly swap system. Each week, we switch off between two task bundles (below) to avoid burnout. These are the tasks we both identified as daunting to take on week after week…
We also each have “evergreen” tasks that we handle individually, like daycare pickups, dog walking, or shopping for baby—chores we either enjoy or are just better at than the other. So far, this system has been working surprisingly well, but we check in and adjust as needed when life throws us a curveball. Having our split of duties written down somewhere has been a big gamechanger. There’s something satisfying about settling a debate with, “Let’s check the Chore Chart.” Because a color-coded spreadsheet never lies. —Alisha 💬 Let’s chat! When splitting up duties, do you just go by ~vibes~ or do you also have a chore chart/specific tasks? Any other smart tips for getting it all done? Let’s swap ideas and vent in the comments below (open to all). When I decided to write about household chores, I knew I had to talk to Lindsey Stanberry. Lindsey is the founder of The Purse newsletter and writes a fantastic column called Division of Labor, where couples self-report on how they split duties at home. Her realistic insights are invaluable for anyone looking to better balance the workload in their household. On fairness and communication…
On the value of childcare…
On mental load and invisible labor…
On outsourcing… “If you can afford it, pay for services that make your life easier, and don't feel guilty about it! Whether it's a cleaning person, meal delivery, or anything else, it's worth it for the sanity and balance it brings to your household.” Just for fun: poll time!
📰 Further reading and links:
Coming up next: In this Friday’s newsletter, I’ll share some smart tips from other friends on how they handle their chores, plus ideas for getting stuff done while *living solo* from two Downtime readers. You're currently a free subscriber to Downtime. For the full experience, consider upgrading your subscription. For $5/month, you’ll gain access to more recommendations, exclusive content, our subscriber chat, the full archive, and more. Either way, thanks for reading! This post may contain affiliate links, which means that if you click something and buy it, I may earn a small cut of the purchase at no cost to you. Thank you for supporting my work; I only recommend things I truly love and/or have vetted! If you enjoyed this post, please click the like ❤️ button at the bottom. It helps others discover my content and is a *free* way to show your appreciation. You could also forward it to a friend you think might enjoy it. You can also screenshot a favorite part and share it on Instagram. Be sure to tag me, @alisharamos so I can repost it. Follow me on Instagram and look through ShopMy for my latest finds. |
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