Curb your incivility to create a respectful workplace

St. Benedict of Nursia, in the 6th century, established the "Rule of Saint Benedict," which author Oliver Burkeman recommends leaders should still follow because it provides "a sort of model of moderation and rhythm that finds time for work, time for prayer, and time for rest." Under Benedict's rules, monks work until an appointed time, then stop and move on to other activities of life, which can help those of us in the modern era "develop that willingness to do your part for the day and declare that you have done enough," Burkeman concludes.

Put it into practice: Burkeman urges us to consider our "cosmic insignificance," not because we're inferior, but because the realization can help us accept that "how you use your time is not going to matter too much in a couple hundred years." Burkeman says that knowledge can help us prioritize what we want to accomplish in the time that we have.

Leaders can minimize incivility in the workplace by creating a culture of respect and tolerance, writes speaker and consultant Marlene Chism, who recommends leaders begin with themselves to become aware of what triggers their emotions and how to become curious when they're feeling judgmental of others. "As long as we see other human beings as our enemies, there will be incivility because the way we see others determines our behavior towards them," Chism notes.

Put it into practice: Create a culture of respect by making behavior part of performance evaluations and measure behavior against company values of integrity, compassion and responsibility, Chism recommends. "When behavior is part of performance, it's no longer acceptable to be both a bully and a high performer."

Become an effective communicator by learning the seven key traits shared by top communicators, including understanding the needs of your audience, showing empathy, being authentic and actively listening, writes David Grossman. Leaders can perfect these skills by seeking to learn something in every conversation, using open-ended questions to foster dialogue and providing positive feedback, even if there's disagreement, Grossman advises.

Put it into practice: Communicate well by knowing what your audience needs from you and providing the necessary context such as background information and what actions may be required by them, Grossman advises. "The audience needs line-of-sight into why decisions or changes are being made, or why a particular vision for an organization is important in that moment."

The pullback on diversity efforts and other factors that have hobbled the advancement of Black executives does not surprise R. Nolan Townsend, the CEO of Lexeo Therapeutics, who faced headwinds along his road to the C-suite and says it's a chance to learn resilience. "It can create the type of personality where someone just doesn't accept failure, doesn't accept the setback. They try to get around it, over it, through it, no matter what's in front of them," Townsend says.

A half-million dollars is a big chunk of change for a house, but would you pay that for just a chunk of the house? That's the price for a California home -- well, what's left of it, after a tree fell on a 645 square foot one-bedroom, one-bathroom bungalow, obliterating half the house. The realtor says he has potential buyers, many of whom say they'll tear down the remains and build a new, bigger home on the lot.

When you work from home, like I do, it's often difficult to walk away from your work at the end of the day. After all, it's right there, on your computer, ten or 20 steps away at all times. It's tempting to get ahead of tomorrow's tasks or let another task linger until after hours.

Oliver Burkeman reminds us of St. Benedict's orders for living, to do things in moderation and in their turn. When you finish work, move on to the next thing, be it dinner, relaxing on the couch, heading out for time with friends, exercising or playing with your kids or pets. Leave the work behind, Burkeman says, because, in reality, "the work is never finished. We could really do with being reminded, I think, in the world today that the work is never finished. You need instead to develop that willingness to do your part for the day and declare that you have done enough."

Research shows it's good to have a "shutting down" ritual for the day. For monks, it may be the simple ringing of a bell telling them to move on from their work. For office workers, though, it could be cleaning up your workspace, reviewing tomorrow's to-do list and prioritizing what you need to tackle first, then stop working.

Studies have shown that you will work more efficiently if you stop working at a set time during the day. This is the kind of devotion to the balance of life that Benedict encouraged when he wrote, "All things are to be done with moderation."

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