When you're stressed at work, learn to ride the wave

When you're stressed at work, learn to ride the wave | practice (split each time) | Want more gravitas as a leader? Ask these questions
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September 17, 2024
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When you're stressed at work, learn to ride the wave
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It can sometimes be easy to get upset at work, but before lashing out, Lauren Florko, an industrial/organizational psychologist and founder of Triple Threat Consulting, recommends pausing to label your feelings -- be it anger or frustration -- then consider the consequences of acting and take a moment to calm down by visualizing your stress as a wave that swells and recedes. "It's not about shutting down feelings," Florko writes. "It's about learning how to ride them without letting them sweep you away."
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Put it into practice: Another way to calm your stress at work is to practice progressive muscle relaxation that "involves systematically tightening and then loosening your muscles bit by bit," writes Florko, who outlines how to do it. "It's a great way to shift your focus from your emotions to your body."
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Want more gravitas as a leader? Ask these questions
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Begin a practice of developing executive presence as a leader by figuring out which qualities to focus on, such as confidence, study the leaders who have the gravitas you desire and look for situations where you can hone your skills, writes executive coach Joel Garfinkle. "Consider actively practicing one quality you admire and see how it transforms your interactions," Garfinkle advises.
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Put it into practice: It's equally important to spot the leadership traits you want to avoid emulating, such as rambling or avoiding accountability, Garfinkle notes. "This awareness allows you to pivot from what doesn't work to what does."
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Good managers are like great coaches, writes Roy Williams, author of the "Wizard of Ads" trilogy of business books, because they're not afraid to hire people better than they are and "they know how to awaken the star that sleeps in each" team member. Improve your management by regularly praising your team on their excellent work, and Williams notes that if "your ratio of positive comments is seven times higher than your negative ones," your team will "soon begin to smile when they see you coming."
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Put it into practice: Williams suggests that managers spend the next 21 days complimenting a team member for every correct action they make. "Then prepare to meet a whole new employee on the 22nd day."
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FedEx CEO Raj Subramaniam launched his career at the logistics company and worked his way to the head of the company. "Our founding philosophy has been very straightforward: We take care of our people, who provide outstanding service and experience for our customers, which in turn generates profits for our companies which we reinvest back in our people," Subramaniam said.
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With food waste contributing significantly to global pollution, San Francisco's Shuggie's Trash Pie and Natural Wine is tackling the issue by using ingredients that would typically be discarded, like spent oat flour from oat milk producers in its pizza crust and carrot tops in a signature chimichurri sauce. Co-owners of the self-described "climate-solutions restaurant" David Murphy and Kayla Abe are committed to reducing the restaurant's environmental footprint and inspiring others to follow suit.
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About The Editor
Candace Chellew
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With so many different personalities around us at the office, it is easy to get emotionally triggered by something a co-worker says or does. Acting on those feelings may feel good at the moment, but often, they can have severe repercussions for our personal and professional lives.

Triple Threat Consulting founder and psychologist Lauren Florko offers several ways to calm ourselves in those triggered moments: Naming our feelings, considering the consequences (both good and bad) of expressing ourselves in the moment and using calming techniques such as visualization or progressive muscle relaxation.

The best way I've found to calm myself in tense situations is through breathing exercises. These are so subtle that you can do them in real-time without others even noticing. The most powerful is an even, deep breathing exercise that involves inhaling slowly for four to five counts and exhaling for the same amount of time, preferably through your nose. This practice lowers your heart rate and eases anxiety.

Another practice is the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method, which involves looking around the room and identifying five things you see, four things you can touch, three things you hear, two things you smell and one thing you taste. Like the progressive muscle relaxation technique, this gets you out of your emotions and into your body.

My other favorite technique, when it's possible, is to take a walk. Taking a break from the situation can release tension and clear your mind so you're feeling refreshed whenever you have to return to the office.

What calming activities work for you? Let me know, and we'll share them tomorrow!

If this newsletter helps you, please tell your colleagues, friends or anyone who can benefit. Forward them this email, or send this link.

What topics do you see in your daily work that I should know about? Do you have any feedback you'd like to share? Drop me a note. And while you're at it, please send me photos of your pets, your office and where you spend your time off so we can share them.
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If you're struggling, keep going, keep going, and I promise you, things will be okay.
Richard Gadd,
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