Last May, writer Amil Niazi published an essay about the “millennial midlife crisis,” arguing that midlife looks a little different for those of us in that demographic.

No longer is it about crow’s feet or graying hair. Today’s midlife crisis isn’t about mortality, she wrote, “it’s that our lives and stations are unchanged from when we were 30 — or, hell, even 20. It’s about a distinct lack of comfort, of resources.”

She’s not alone in feeling that way. A recent survey by the Thriving Center of Psychology found that 81% of millennials surveyed can’t afford to have a midlife crisis.

With a third of older millennials carrying over $40,000 in student debt, many have delayed homebuying, marriage, family planning — all the milestones that earlier generations seemingly reached without much effort.

Meanwhile, as millennials have children later in life, their parents are living longer, a phenomenon which has produced the “sandwich generation” — aka Americans who are caring for both older and younger generations. And that demographic is expected to explode in the coming years.

No wonder society wants to make women feel like we’re flopping. We’re measuring our success by benchmarks that no longer make sense for the world we’re living in. That’s what social scientists call a “cultural lag.”

In other words, the game has changed.

But we’re using an outdated scoring system. Women are no longer expected to have babies before 30, or quit their careers for caregiving, or stay in the same job forever. In some cases, it doesn’t make sense to invest in homeownership. You don’t have to stop working after 65 — or keep working until then, either.

In her latest LinkedIn column, Ellevest CEO Sallie Krawcheck wrote, “Millennial women are changing careers, working for themselves, working part-time, expanding their skill sets, and taking mini-retirements. What we see is that so many of them are in control, not in crisis.”

When you’re investing in yourself, building wealth, and planning your future intentionally, you’re setting yourself up to do whatever you want. Whether that means taking a big risk midcareer or buying a motorcycle or something else entirely.

As always, that’s what Ellevest is here for. Schedule a complimentary call with us today and we’ll help you make a plan for it all.

“I feel that I increasingly have things to say, but really little to prove. And that is such a different thing. I don’t feel a desperation that I felt in my 20s and 30s.”

— Jenny Slate, whose new book explores her journey of motherhood through five stages: Single, True Love, Pregnancy, Baby, and Ongoing.

💌 You’re invited

• Investing, Part 2: You & Your Portfolio: Dive deeper into how investing works, from balancing risk and return to how taxes work when you’re investing and beyond.
  OCTOBER 30 @ 7 PM ET: Sign up here
• FREE: Estate Planning Overview: In this live, 45-minute workshop, an Ellevest CFP® pro will cover everything you need to know about estate planning (including the importance of doing it, especially for women).
  NOVEMBER 6 @ 3 PM ET: Save your spot
• FREE: Countdown to Tax Season: We’re bringing this workshop back from the dead (just in time for spooky season) to help you get ahead of your taxes this year.
  NOVEMBER 19 @ 12:30 PM ET: Save your spot

Busy this month? Check out all upcoming workshop dates.