How to give a senior leader feedback (without getting fired)
How to give a senior leader feedback (without getting fired)There’s a right and wrong way to proceed. Here’s how to increase the chances your leader listens and takes action--while reducing the chances they feel threatened.
👋 Hey, it’s Wes. Welcome to my weekly newsletter on managing up, executive communication, and standing out as a higher performer. For more, check out my new intensive course on Executive Communication & Influence. Read time: 7 minutes Today’s newsletter is sponsored by Uptempo. Planning season hits hard—with months of meetings, data dives, and presentations. Yet results often fail to tie back to corporate strategy and revenue. That's why Uptempo created the Marketing Planning Blueprint to help you streamline the process and drive impact. Get the guide today. I got this question from a student in my October course cohort:
Ah, this is a dilemma. How can you help a senior leader see they’re making life harder for themselves and their team? If you don’t speak up, you’re robbing your organization of your good insights. If you do speak up, you might put your employment and well-being at risk. This puts you in a tough spot. Today I want to share some ways you can share feedback with senior leaders, or anyone more powerful than you—while being respectful, helpful, and protecting yourself from their wrath. Giving feedback to someone more powerful than you is a pattern breakTraditionally, the more powerful person gives feedback to the less powerful person. So if you want to give feedback to a more senior person, it’s an inversion of norms. This causes a moment of potential chaos, which is why you want to control the energy and channel it in a positive direction. Feeling nervous about giving your senior leader feedback is a good thing. It means you have survival instincts that help with self-preservation. This will alert you to proceed with the appropriate level of caution. You may want to adjust tactics based on your specific leader, their idiosyncrasies, worldview, your relationship, etc. Or, you might realize your relationship or credibility isn’t strong enough for you to give them feedback--that’s an equally appropriate conclusion. The only path I’d advise against: Going in with guns blazing, assuming you have moral high ground simply because you are right. If you’re wondering how to be thoughtful about giving your senior leader feedback, this probably means you’re a grounded person who wants to do right by your leader and organization. If that’s the case, here’s what I do that might be useful for you too. 1. “Even more” techniqueI’ve taught this framework to my clients, and they love it. I’m going to share it with you. The framing of “even more” works so well because you’re speaking from a place of generosity and giving the benefit of the doubt. You’re assuming they’re doing X--and that they should do it even more. You are assuming they are great--and you want to make them even stronger. 🚫
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Why this works: The “before” scenario is binary—the senior leader either did or didn’t give guidance. And if they didn’t, well, they messed up. They feel threatened that you noticed. The “after” is a spectrum: You are generous in assuming that they did give guidance. You’re suggesting they may want to amp this up even more. This is much easier for them to accept. This isn’t simply an issue of semantics or phrasing. This is about positioning to increase the chances they change their behavior. Getting anyone to listen and change their behavior, especially someone more senior? That’s a huge win. [The “even more” technique works with giving feedback to direct reports too. It’s super versatile.] 2. Use yourself as an exampleTalk about yourself so it doesn’t seem like you’re pointing fingers. I do this whenever I want to say something the person might find insulting.
By the way, saying “you should try X” is fine--there’s nothing inherently wrong about it. The reason I would avoid it is because of the power dynamic and CONTENT of what I’m saying. If there’s a power dynamic and/or the content of what I’m saying might be sensitive for the person, that’s when I share about my own experience. I’m not saying YOU are struggling with X, I’m saying I used to and what I did. And if that lesson applies to what you’re dealing with, that’s cool, but no pressure. 3. Adopt diplomatic, curiosity-forward languageMost people are extreme in one of two ways:
Both are bad. Both lack judgment. What you want to do is: Share your POV in a way that doesn’t threaten the senior person, and gets them to listen. One simple way you can achieve this is by using diplomatic, curiosity-forward language. These phrases help you ease into the suggestion in a way that feels non-threatening:
You adopt the vibe of a helpful team member who has your leader’s best interest in mind and wants to serve your organization. You are forward-looking. Instead of focusing on what went wrong (which risks making your leader feel defensive), you’re focused on what to potentially do going forward. 4. Bring data and examples to support your pointIf you've been reading this newsletter for a minute, you know I bang on the drum of sharing your logic. I believe most people do not share their rationale enough. Don’t just make a high-level, hand-waving statement. Instead, share examples of what worked well in the past because it helps your feedback land. Supporting your claims makes you more persuasive and objective--and increases the chances your senior leader will take your recommendation. Example 1: Guidance during projects
Example 2: Setting priorities
Example 3: Training new hires
Why this works:
Personally, I think phrasing a recommendation as a statement reduces cognitive load. You can follow up with an open-ended question, like “what do you think?” Notice how the examples above are concrete AND concise. Avoid long diatribes and over-explaining—use your judgment to share just enough context. And for goodness sake, do not have a “well actually…” vibe when you share logic and data. This is obnoxious and will probably backfire. Notice how in the examples above, I’m sharing rationale, and doing it in a collaborative way. To recap, here are the points:
Which principle above do you want to try? Which do you think will work best with the senior leader you have in mind and why? Hit reply because I’d love to hear from you. Thanks for being here, and I’ll see you next Wednesday at 8am ET. Wes Executive Communication & Influence courseThe February 2025 cohort of my course is now open. I’m thrilled to see the testimonials from alumni continue to roll in too. Here’s what students are saying:
- Angela Santurbano, Principal Product Manager, Square
- Fred Geyer, Manager, Employee Onboarding Experience, HelloFresh
- Jess Mordo, Senior Manager, Senior Manager (Acquisition Marketing), Grammarly
- Morgan King, Director of Client Support, Stitch Fix
- Eric Livingston, Senior Director of Product Management, Salesforce In the past week, operators from Adobe, Meta, Shopify, Autodesk, Grammarly, Klayvio, Chick-fil-A, eBay, Square, Equifax, Roblox, etc have signed up. Check out the course page to learn more and see if it’s a fit for you. Connect with Wes
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