I’m thinking of you, dear Downtime readers who live in LA. I hope you and your loved ones are staying safe. The destruction is just devastating and heartbreaking. Too many people and families have lost their homes. If you’re looking to support relief efforts, please visit the Mutual Aid LA Network, the California Community Fund, or California Wildfire DirectRelief. Baby2Baby is distributing essential baby products to families who’ve lost everything, and Bobbie is also giving away free formula to impacted families. Please feel free to share other resources, links, or fundraising efforts in the comments section today. 💔

Our week started with a heavy snowfall that shut everything down. My first instinct? Grumpiness—after all, it followed a long, childcare-less winter break. But as I surrendered to the disruption, something unexpected happened: I felt a surge of gratitude for the cozy days spent indoors with my family. It became a welcome challenge to get creative with “fun activities”—like the surprisingly satisfying entertainment (at least, to our daughter) of emptying and refilling the Tupperware drawer.

We made a beautiful mess, both literal and figurative (those newly acquired finger painting kits came in clutch). Sitting in the living room, which glowed brighter than usual from the snow’s soft reflection through the windows, I couldn’t help but feel happy, the grumpiness melting away. And I had a thought—that I’ll never get these moments back again, the ones when our daughter is so little and delighting in pushing blue paint around and squeaking with glee playing hide-and-seek behind doors. I could be getting work done, sure, but there’s also this.

I want more of these moments in 2025, the ones that make me pause and take everything in with awe. The ones where I’m not in total control, things are imperfect, and that’s okay.

I’m today’s newsletter: I’m easing in with a fun list and some quick recommendations. Enjoy!

—Alisha

My ins and outs for 2025

Everyone is making these lists and…I love them. They feel like a low-stakes way to to set some soft goals (and anti-goals) for the year. Below are mine. Would love to hear yours in the comments!

IN:

• Getting dressed (almost) every day.

• Investing in quality clothing made from natural materials.

• Leaving voice notes for friends.

• Giving friends little gifts, just because.

• Smelling really good.

• Burning all my nice candles instead of saving them.

• Writing letters.

• Making bad art.

• Taking myself on solo dates.

• Reading books that have been out for a while.

• Reading books I already own.

• Hanging out at the local bookstore.

• Printing photos! (I started doing this with mini Chatbooks and love it!)

• Complimenting strangers IRL.

• Volunteering IRL.

• Hosting playdates even when our house is “messy.”

• Hosting more low-key brunches and dinner parties.

• Five-year-journaling.

• Soft lighting everywhere.

• Really *good*, soft sweatpants and PJ’s.

• Delightful vintage finds.

• Comfortable shoes.

• Fancy snacks.

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OUT:

• Making impulse purchases.

• Not cooking all the produce we buy.

• Scrolling aimlessly.

• Finishing books I’m not into because it’s “buzzy.”

• Obsessing over what people think when they’re *really* not paying attention to me at all.

• Waiting until something is perfect.

• Pretending that busy work is work.

• Sitting at my desk when it’s clearly not productive.

• Contracting endless daycare illnesses. 🤞🤞🤞🫣😮‍💨

• Taking 1 million photos of my kid instead of being present with them.

• Doing something I don’t want to do just to make someone happy.

• Buying from beauty brands that use a ridiculous amount of plastic packaging.

• Self-sabotaging.

• Keeping jeans that don’t fit.

• Wearing heels.

• Hitting snooze.

• Feeling rushed all the time.

I’m curious to hear…what’s on your ins/outs list this year?

Let’s share ideas — leave a comment below!

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Downtime Edit: Piling on all the cozy.

I looked at my recent shopping saves and to no one’s surprise, it’s all leggings, sherpa, and cozy knits. I’ve felt uninspired in the style department lately and I’m leaning into a lazy uniform of leggings + t-shirt + sweater.

Instead of berating myself though, I’m leaning into it and enjoying this season to just be comfortable and hibernate a little.

Here are a few of my recent finds…

• These are the nicest gray sweats I own. The material is midweight, smooth and soft like butter, and the elastic waistband doesn’t restrict too much. I also love the tapered leg and that it comes in a 25” inseam for petites like myself. (The matching half-zip is on my wishlist!)

• Saw this sherpa half-zip in-store a few weeks ago and still can’t stop thinking about it. The colors look GREAT irl.

• Sherpa slipper booties.

• These french terry sweatpants also came highly recommended by a friend.

• Have you heard of this brand? They mostly make skiwear, but I love their designs so much. I’d wear this sherpa half-zip as an everyday layer.

• A silk scrunchie.

• This candle sounds so cozy - it’s got notes of vanilla bean and sandalwood. I’ve found that this brand offers great value — the 'scent throw' is strong, meaning it fills up your space quickly, so you don’t need to burn it for too long to enjoy the full effect. It's on sale right now!

• I like wearing this cult-fave thin white tee under all my scratchy wool knits.

• I just bought this set of quarter socks to complete my lazy-cozy outfits.

Fun Links

What was open in my tabs this week…

• 24 ways to supercharge your friendships. Loved her idea of sending friends gifts just because! (by Anna Goldfarb)

• This hot cocoa for sleep from Beam sounds *delicious* and it’s finally back in stock. It’s got ingredients like CBD, magnesium, and melatonin for promoting better sleep. Downtime readers get up to 40% off for the next 48 hours using code DOWNTIME at checkout!*

• This cordless Cuisinart chopper is now on my wishlist, thanks to Fanny Singer’s recommendation. (via The Green Spoon)

• I can’t wait to try this “green eggs, no ham” recipe from Clare de Boer.

• For fellow creatives: I love this concept of “minimum and maximum creative time” from Carolyn Yoo.

• Books You Can Judge by Their Cover — As a book and book-as-object nerd, I am absolutely here for this trend of publishers investing in special editions of books, complete with embossed covers and gold-sprayed edges. (The New York Times *gift link)

• Are You Buying Ultraprocessed Foods? — This NYT interactive quiz was really fun and I learned a lot about which sneaky ingredients to look for. Send this to a friend and compare your scores!

And a few recommendations:

• Currently reading: I’m listening to The Favorites by Layne Fargo (out Jan 14th) on audiobook and it’s excellent. It’s about figure skating! Childhood sweethearts! A mysterious shocking incident at the Olympic Games! You’ll be as hooked as I am. (This book would pair well with I, Tonya…)

• If you’re still in new year goal-setting mode: YearCompass is a free booklet you can download to reflect on 2024 and look ahead to 2025. (h/t Lindsey Stanberry!)

• Anti-doomscrolling: I keep seeing this Brick app thing everywhere, and a friend has raved about it for helping reduce his screen time. I’m not sure it’s for me, but thought I’d share in case it might help someone else!

• Good caviar and wine: To celebrate our survival of The Great Snowstorm & Daycare Closures of 2025, I treated myself to some caviar and good wine. My favorite is from Pearl Street Caviar and this sparkling rosé Sophie James Wine sent me was OMG SO GOOD. (And packaged so beautifully it would make such a good friend gift.)

• Grocery find: If you live near an H-Mart, go get yourself this enormous giant jar of honey and ginger because it’s perfect for making hot teas on the go:

*Sponsor

I hope you have a restful weekend. Coming up next: a new installment of the Bookmarked column with an author I admire so much. —Alisha

Previously on Downtime

So many great comments in last week’s post! 👇

Recs #74: My favorite reads of 2024, bookish goals, and the excitement of a new planner Alisha Ramos · Jan 3 Read full story

Lessons I Learned From a Just-Okay Year December 17, 2024 Read full story