Crooked Media - What A Day: Good Luck, Chuck

BY MATT BERG
& CROOKED MEDIA

FRIDAY
MARCH 14, 2025

This is not Mean Girls.”

— Secretary of State Marco Rubio, firing back at a reporter about the Trump-Zelenskyy relationship.

BOOMER DOOMERS

Some Democrats are so furious with Chuck Schumer that they want AOC to replace him, showcasing a seismic rift in the Democratic Party over how to combat Republicans moving forward.

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer infuriated scores of Democrats after announcing that he’d back the GOP continuing resolution to keep the government open through September. His reasoning? Shutting things down would play into the hands of President Donald Trump and Chainsaw-in-chief Elon Musk, arguing that they would hand-pick agencies to reopen and continue with their drastic cuts. Schumer reportedly made up his mind days ago — giving Democrats false hope that they would put up a fight. Even President Donald Trump is congratulating him! Not exactly the outcome you want as leader of the opposition.

What do average voters think? Well, I asked for your thoughts — and about 150 of you wrote back, entirely in agreement: Democratic senators shouldn’t hand Republicans a win by approving the bill, no matter what. Schumer’s stance is out of line with what the left wants, at least according to polling, voter responses, and many Senate and House Democrats. Even his longtime ally, Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), isn’t on his side.

“Look, I get that this is a shit sandwich either way,” wrote one federal employee, who wouldn’t get paid during a shutdown. “Yet I will be furious if Dems cave to this. Like, changing my party affiliation to Independent, never-donating-to-a-Democrat-ever-again-level pissed. I’m so tired of them disappointing me. Show some backbone! Meet the fucking moment!”

About a dozen voters called Schumer “spineless,” want him to resign, and are worried about his fitness for office at this moment. Others say they’ve urged their senators to vote against the bill.

Like most news in the Trump era, this episode may be eclipsed pretty soon. But the stakes feel unusually high: “If the Dems vote this through, I’m cutting up my Dem Party membership card and shipping it COD to Chuck Schumer,” another person wrote. “Bottom line, we are screwed either way. So why not put up a fight?” Several other readers want Democrats to emulate Sen. Mitch McConnell’s (R-KY) famously partisan ethos by voting “no” and blaming the other party.

Do Democrats have a plan to counter Republicans moving forward, if this passes? Well… here is House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries answer: “We’re going to continue to push back on all of the extreme legislative things that are underway,” he told the What A Day podcast. In a press conference today, Jeffries made it clear that he opposes the bill — and dodged questions about Schumer’s position. We’ll see tonight how this shakes out, but odds are there won't be a shutdown.

Across the aisle, Republicans are kicking their feet up and sipping cocktails with little umbrellas. “Vibes are pretty good all things considered. I’m pretty surprised how drama-free it’s been on our end,” a Senate GOP aide told What A Day. Must be nice!

THE DEPARTMENT OF MISEDUCATION

Donald Trump is cracking down on higher education, and it ain’t pretty.

The Trump administration announced that it’s investigating more than 50 universities for alleged racial discrimination, a month after warning that schools could lose federal funding if there are “race-based preferences” in any aspect of student life, including admissions and scholarships.

That’s chilling, considering the recent arrest of Columbia University graduate student Mahmoud Khalil, a Palestinian activist. A second Columbia student, Leqaa Kordia — a Palestinian from the West Bank — was arrested today after allegedly overstaying her student visa.

New details have emerged about Khalil’s case. A green card holder and permanent U.S. resident, Khalil was detained by ICE and flown to a detention center in Louisiana, where he was forced to sleep with no pillows or blankets, according to his lawyers. “Throughout this process, Mr. Khalil felt as though he was being kidnapped,” his lawyers wrote in a recent court filing.

Trump has vowed to arrest “many” more students who engage in “anti-Semitic, anti-American activity.” Reminder: There is nothing anti-Semitic or anti-American about advocating for the rights of Palestinians in Gaza being killed by Israel.

Now, the Education Department is threatening to continue withholding $400 billion in funds from Columbia if the school doesn’t reform its discipline and admission rules — to protect Jewish students. Yesterday, Columbia suspended and expelled some students who occupied a building on campus during pro-Palestinian protests last summer. Working with the Trump administration to combat antisemitism on campus is Columbia’s “number one goal,” Columbia Interim President Katrina Armstrong said in a statement.

Remember when Trump said, “I have stopped all government censorship and brought back free speech in America”? It sure feels like the opposite!!

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WHAT ELSE?

Donald Trump called for his political opponents, including judges and prosecutors, to be jailed. “These are people that are bad people, really bad people,” he said during a speech at the Department of Justice, out of all places. “The people who did this to us should go to jail.” Rich coming from the guy found guilty on 34 felony counts!

Dr. Mehmet Oz, Donald Trump’s pick to lead the agency in charge of Medicare and Medicaid, wouldn’t commit to opposing cuts to the latter. “The way you protect Medicaid is by making sure that it’s viable at every level,” the TV personality said during his confirmation hearing today, completely dodging a question about potential cuts. Everyone, start eating an apple a day.

On that note, Trump’s promise to hold migrants in Guantánamo Bay is failing miserably. So far, only 300 migrants have been held there, far less than Trump’s pledge to move 30,000 to the detention center. Those migrants were flown back to the U.S. this week as the plan faces legal, financial and logistical challenges.

The U.S. and Israel have discussed the possibility of resettling Palestinians in Gaza with three East African governments: Sudan, Somalia and a breakaway region known as Somaliland. Those areas are poor and, in some cases, mired in violence — so there’s fresh doubt about Trump’s promise to relocate Gazans to a “beautiful area.”

Oceans levels reached their highest point in three decades last year, rising 35 percent higher than expected, according to a recent analysis led by NASA. Can someone please get this report through EPA chief Lee Zeldin’s thick skull?!

Sen. Mark Kelly (D-AZ) is ditching his Tesla because he hates Elon Musk: “Elon Musk kind of turned out to be an asshole, and I don’t want to drive a car built and designed by an asshole,” he said in a video today. This is the kind of rhetoric from Senate Dems I can get behind!

Golf star Tiger Woods is reportedly secretly dating Vanessa Trump, Donald Trump Jr.’s ex-wife. Okay, I don’t want to know anymore! Thanks!

LET'S MEET, IRL

Strict Scrutiny — Crooked’s legal podcast hosted by constitutional law professors Melissa Murray, Kate Shaw and Leah Litman — is going on tour! Tickets for the Bad Decisions Tour 2025 are ON SALE NOW! Join them at a theater near you as they brace for the fresh hell SCOTUS will unleash this year.

They’ll break down opinions, analyze cases, and unpack the decisions that could reshape our daily lives. They’ve got three great shows planned— May 31st in Washington, DC at Capital Turnaround, June 12th in New York City at Sony Hall, and October 4th in Chicago at Athenaeum Center. Tickets are going fast—don’t miss out! Head to crooked.com/events for more info.

A federal judge blocked the Trump administration’s effort to expand its blanket pardon of January 6 rioters, after the Department of Justice argued that the pardons also apply to crimes not connected to the insurrection.

On his first day as Canada’s new leader, Prime Minister Mark Carney said that his country will “never” become part of the United States, rebuffing Trump’s repeated threats. We love to see it.

Actor Jason Sudeikis’s beloved “Ted Lasso,” a show about an optimistic soccer coach in London, is returning to Apple TV. We all need more escapism after the “Severance” Season 2 finale comes out next week!

Today is World Sleep Day, which I didn’t know existed. Shouldn’t this be a federal holiday? Here’s a list of science-based tips to improve your slumber, because lord knows we all need as much as we can get these days.

This is June! She belongs to Crooked writer Julia Claire and would proofread all of the newsletters from 2022-2024 in between naps.