What’s going on here? Investors reportedly valued X at $44 billion in a secondary market deal – the same price Elon Musk paid for the social media platform back when he was courting it. What does this mean? X was valued below $10 billion in September, after advertisers headed for the hills – or, uh, the other social networking sites. But since then, key partners like Amazon have returned to the fold, Musk has taken up an unofficial position as the president’s right-hand man, and a fresh 25% stake in xAI has polished X’s books. (That said, revenue’s still lower than before the takeover, despite aggressive cost-cutting.) This new-and-improved valuation could help X nab the $2 billion it hopes to raise in an upcoming funding round, as well as increase the wealth of the world’s richest man: Musk has bought hundreds of millions worth of shares in the platform over the past year. Why should I care? For markets: X might be out of puberty, but Tesla’s still a problem child. Analysts expect Tesla’s sales to be 8% lower this quarter than the same time last year, which would be the worst reading in three years. The writing’s on the wall: drivers around the world have been steering clear of Tesla dealerships, and sales fell by an especially sharp 70% in Germany and 44% in Norway this year. With plenty of Chinese brands claiming those customers, Tesla’s lost around half of its market value since December. No wonder JPMorgan expects the stock to sink to $120 – less than half of its price just last week. The bigger picture: You get a Starlink, you get a Starlink, everyone gets a Starlink. Musk’s political influence has drawn criticism once again. Not only has his Starlink internet service been installed in the White House, but the government has pushed to hand the company up to $20 billion – nearly half of the $42 billion earmarked for rural broadband funding. With critics arguing that Starlink is both more expensive and less reliable than fiber internet, that raises serious concerns over competition and fairness. | 
