Ann Friedman - The disappearing parties

Here's what I remember about the early months of the COVID pandemic, five years ago: I fantasized about formerly mundane pleasures like sitting at the bar and eating french fries while gossiping with a friend. I felt smug about owning a bidet and therefore not bulk-buying toilet paper. I got so depressed that all I wanted to do was sew. (By the end of 2021, I had made five quilts.) My skin broke out in acne and red blotches. I worried. I worried. I worried. I felt sad and lucky at the same time, all the time.

Here's what I forgot: I felt flower hunger. I marveled at the elasticity of time. I felt the enormous weight of small decisions. I drank too much wine. I asked, Why do I miss what I miss? I practiced writing in gratitude tense. I accepted my ignorance of the future: "None of my expectations or predictions for the 'during' have really panned out. Why would the 'after' be any different?"

"Who has the right to have rights? It is certainly not the humans crowded into the cells here." writes Mahmoud Khalil from detention. [ACLU] Jasmine Mooney recounts her unlawful detention in ICE facilities: "It felt like we had all been kidnapped, thrown into some sort of sick psychological experiment meant to strip us of every ounce of strength and dignity." [The Guardian]

“People are saying, like, Dude, I gotta get that edge." Lily Scherlis on the "soft skills" crisis and how corporations are returning to Dale Carnegie in the post-pandemic anti-social age. [Harper's]

"I am witnessing the deterioration of my father, 77 years old, and the havoc of our president, 78 years old, simultaneously." Courtney Martin on the hungry ghosts of two very different fading men. [The Examined Family]

Are parties are dying? Rachelle Bergstein investigates. [Washington Post gift link] Everyone still wants to party; no one wants to throw the party. Just suck it up and host the party you want to be invited to.

"Books are actually more important than web data,” according to an internal Meta communication about stealing books (including the one I co-wrote!). Couldn't agree more. [Atlantic gift link]

"We must give up the dream of explaining ourselves." Andrea Long Chu revisits Females. [n+1]

A beautiful pep talk from Heather Havrilesky: "We are all here, on this Earth, to enjoy a vast, alarming, gorgeous range of possibilities." [Ask Polly]

My psyche screams every time I break down a Really Good Box for recycling.