This Trauma Mindset Shift Will Drastically Improve You

By Jordan Brown • Issue #199 • View online

A reader shared something very interesting the other day.

She told me about how my writing helped her better understand a situation with a family member.

She didn’t realize that sibling abuse could be abuse. That it can be traumatic.

But it absolutely can be.

Anything can be traumatic.

Because there is one important fact she should know about trauma: It’s always up to the one who is experiencing it.

There is no objective reality of trauma.

And once you realize that, you can start to approach your life in a much better, much more resilient way.

Read on to learn what I mean.

But is THIS trauma?

There’s a weird phenomenon that happens in individualistic societies. We compare our pain to other people’s pain. We think, I’m not able to feel this way. She’s gone through THAT.

Or we say, “It’s not that bad… My neighbor lost his spouse last month.”

This is faulty thinking that goes nowhere fast.

Because pain is pain. It’s an individual experience. It’s still there even if something bad happens to your neighbor or friend or family member. Multiple things can be true at once.

Individualistic societies push back against the multiple-things-can-be-true fact. They tell you that you have to feel a certain way for certain events. And then, for other events, it’s more socially acceptable to grieve or complain about your pain to others. But only for a time. And then people expect you to move on.

This is a frustrating reality. But a mindset switch can drastically alter how you perceive the world.

Luckily, you’re in control of that.

Pain is Pain is Pain - Trauma and Mindset

"If I wear this sweatshirt, my mindset just HAS to change. Right? Right?"

What if today you decided that you were just going to treat pain as pain?

What if right now you decided, once and for all, that anything can be traumatic?

What would that mean for you?

How would that change your life?

Don’t just breeze by these questions–actually consider them.

Any question has the power to change your life. If you let it. If you want to be changed.

You allow new ideas into your life, and you get to decide what to do with the epiphanies that sprout from those ideas you let in.

How could you reframe these types of trauma today?

Emotional trauma
Physical trauma
Family trauma
Childhood trauma
Medical trauma
Work trauma
Environmental trauma

The list can go on and on and become even more nuanced. That’s because humans are nuanced. You’ve had experiences that no one else has. So validate your experiences.

Again, don’t breeze through these words like you would those awkwardly slow 20 MPH speed-limit signs. Consider what this kind of mindset shift would truly mean for you.

Embracing Pain As a Way of Life

Here’s a fact. Pain will always be a part of life. It’s sad, but it’s true.

But wait a second. Could it be less sad if you started to embrace it rather than push it away? Acceptance is always the first step. Once you accept a reality you can change a reality. Acceptance, strangely enough, gives you more power than forcefully pushing something away.

So the next time you minimize your pain, consider this: pain is pain, and anything can be traumatic.

You’re the judge of your own life.

You’re good at validating others, so become great at validating yourself. It’s a powerful act to let yourself feel pain.

Jordan

P.S. Would you like a systematic way to be able to refer this newsletter to friends and family? Would that be helpful? For instance, what if you could get rewards from sharing this with others? I’m experimenting with some ideas, so let me know what you think!

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By Jordan Brown

The Mental Health Update is a weekly email newsletter with mental health articles that make mental / emotional / behavioral health meaningful and accessible.

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Mental health awareness articles don't need to be doom and gloom and filled with jargon.

With The Mental Health Update, you'll get practical tips and new ways to view the world.

We discuss topics like anxiety, depression, OCD, social and communication skills, and much more.

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