Ann Friedman - The genuine pleasure of de-centering

Surprise me View in browser
e832fd0e-7fa9-452b-ad37-b96fc36dbf0d.jpg
600x300
How bottle trees keep each other close   

This week
"People ought to seek out the genuine pleasure of de-centering themselves," Jia Tolentino said in an interview I read this week. YES, I thought. YES! She was speaking about the way that lists of books by Black authors have been suggested to non-Black readers as an "eat your vegetables" learning experience or a duty to be fulfilled—when, in fact, it is a joy to be taken outside of your highly specific perspective and into someone else's.

This sentiment also applies to how I feel about having co-authored a book. I can't tell you that the writing process was pleasurable in every single minute, but finding the center between me and Aminatou, and creating a single narrative of our two very different experiences in this friendship, was deeply rewarding. I'm sure I will go on to write many more things by myself, but this is just one reason our book is so special to me.

Big Friendship officially comes out on Tuesday—although, because everything is weird right now, many people have already received their copies. So it is both out in the world and... not out quite yet. (Turns out that even fixed dates are meaningless in a pandemic!) Anyway, The New York Times calls it a "thoughtful and highly readable story." We're in The Atlantic chatting about why we needed an expanded vocabulary for friendship. We took over the Girls' Night In newsletter, where we recommend our favorite cheesy dips, among other things. We list some of our favorite friendship books over at Goodreads. And we've been doing a lot of interviews on other podcasts, which you can find here. (I promise I won't spam you with book promo every single week. Today is an exception.)

On Call Your Girlfriend today, we read an excerpt. Think of it as a teaser for the audiobook, which is produced kind of like a podcast: It features our own voices, interview clips so you can hear our sources speaking their own words, and an incredible soundtrack composed by Carolyn Pennypacker Riggs. Another genuine pleasure! 

I'm reading
"The sun was beating down on me, and I thought about my trip to Africa, my mother in the cotton fields, the history that I would never know. The names of my family that were forever erased from history. The names of many Black women are often lost to history." Vanessa Guillen's family demands change in how the military handles reports of sexual harassment and assault. "When people dismiss abolitionists for not caring about victims or safety, they tend to forget that we are those victims, those survivors of violence." The Supreme Court affirms tribal sovereignty in Oklahoma, and jeopardizes birth control access for 61.4 million people. How race and racism have played out in one small Ohio town. The damning racial inequality of coronovirus impact. Pandemic experts are really struggling. Understanding pandemic food supply chains through the lens of one $20 cheeseburger. This advice for hiring baristas can teach all bosses about diversifying their searches. Who gets to be reckless on Wall Street? What we lose when retail stores disappear. When your boss is replaced by a robot. How nebulous the term "cancel culture" actually is. Why time feels so strange in 2020—it's basically a spiral. Fantastic, candid interviews with Michaela Coel and Thandie Newton. The Black women uncredited for their contribution to house music. "I find it funny how I, as a Black woman, know so much about White hair." The Dreadhead Cowboy on how "Everything I’m doing is for the future." A guide to living decadently without alcohol. The end of the bra.

And Mia Birdsong's book How We Show Up, which I underlined furiously. It is all about ambitious, future-oriented models for living in community with each other.


Pie chart
The Pandemic Party Pie

This chart is free thanks to my paying subscribers! I appreciate the support so much. Join them for just $5/year. (That's per year, not per month!)

I’m looking & listening
This Land podcast explains the significance of the Supreme Court ruling on the reservation status of Eastern Oklahoma. Disclosure, about Hollywood's impact on the trans community.  Jeff Bezos' wealth visualized in grains of rice.

GIFspiration
Mucho Mucho Amor, the documentary about beloved astrologer Walter Mercado, made me laugh, cry, and break out my bedazzler.

I endorse
Leaving a public comment to stop the Trump administration from gutting asylum. Last month, the administration proposed sweeping changes that would dramatically limit who can seek refuge in the United States. The new rules would completely eliminate gender-based asylum, which is how many LGBTQ+ people and those fleeing domestic violence seek safety in the U.S. The comment period is open until July 15, so make a note on your calendar to do it this week.

Book events
We are doing some virtual events to celebrate the release of Big Friendship:

Mon, JULY 13 - Books Are Magic, in conversation with Samin Nosrat
Tue, JULY 14 - UK book launch with Ada’s List
Tue, JULY 14 - Death, Sex and Money livestream with Anna Sale (You can submit your friendship questions to deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.)
Thur, JULY 16 - Sixth & I DC, in conversation with Mari Andrew
Mon, JULY 27 - King County Library, in conversation with Alicia Garza

All of these events are in different time zones and have different ticketing processes, so click through to get all the details! 

The Classifieds

6Pages: Get smart on market shifts in business & tech. Sign up for free.
Hear straight from the source. Check out Gushi, a free translation newsletter that spotlights nuanced essays about everyday life in China.
13 real pitches that sold to editors at the NYT, Atlantic, Real Simple, Wine Enthusiast & more! Claire Zulkey breaks them down for only $13

My World’s on Fire is a newsletter about disaster prep, resiliency, and recovery. Subscribe to better understand “these uncertain times.”

Are you driving your friends nuts complaining about your partner, family, or coworker? Get some Affinity advice and help listening to your intuition. Or if you're on the other side, gift a session to help get your friend unstuck.

Expert video therapy, no travel necessary. Feminist sensibility. I specialize in women's development and empowerment, anchoring digital nomads, expats, and folks who want to grow from the comfort of their own space. Let's talk and see if we are a fit.


Testimonials
"I think I forward or link to your newsletter more than anything else. Not only does it serve the deep generalist phase most of my friends seem to be in—early adulthood is a time for both confidence and absolute unshackling of previous 'knows'—but I feel more assured in taking on the world by reading your words. " -Grace. This testimonial made me tear up. I love my fellow generalists!

This newsletter is all about genuine pleasures.
Forward it to someone outside your center.



Ann Friedman
AF WEEKLY

MORE ANN
Manage Preferences | Unsubscribe | Ladyswagger, Inc.
PO Box 26932 | Los Angeles, CA 90026
© 2020


Older messages

Walking in late

Friday, June 19, 2020

Surprise me View in browser June 19, 2020 This week I'm certain you're aware that today is Juneteenth. My inbox and social feeds have been flooded with statements about it. In an interview

The work is where we are.

Friday, June 12, 2020

Surprise me View in browser June 12, 2020 This week "The work is offline. The work is online. The work includes presence. The work includes absence. The work is virtual. The work is in the streets

Very good people

Friday, May 29, 2020

Surprise me View in browser May 29, 2020 This week Who gets to be a very good person, and who gets labeled a thug? Whose violence is seen as justified and sanctioned, and whose violence is called

Big little decisions

Friday, May 22, 2020

Surprise me View in browser May 22, 2020 600x300 Marissa Evans This week There are no small decisions these days. Is it ok to take my mask off for awhile when I'm out walking, as long as I put it

“God wants us to walk, but the devil sends a limo.”

Friday, May 8, 2020

Surprise me View in browser May 08, 2020 600x300 LZ Lerman This week On some Fridays I have deep thoughts for you. On others, I just have links and Val Kilmer gifs. This week is one of the latter. On

You Might Also Like

Katie Holmes Has Been Wearing These Ballet Flats Since The ‘90s

Friday, January 10, 2025

A timeless staple. The Zoe Report Daily The Zoe Report 1.9.2025 katie holmes best y2k looks (Celebrity) Katie Holmes Has Been Wearing These Ballet Flats Since The '90s A timeless staple. Read More

3x3: January 9, 2025

Friday, January 10, 2025

What's next? ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏

How to Stop Google Personalizing Your Search Results

Thursday, January 9, 2025

Medical Debt Won't Hurt Your Credit Score Anymore. The best way to escape the filter bubble. Not displaying correctly? View this newsletter online. TODAY'S FEATURED STORY You Can Stop Google

The Ukrainian Mom Who Gave Birth to Premature Twins As Russia Invaded

Thursday, January 9, 2025

Today in style, self, culture, and power. The Cut January 9, 2025 HOW I GOT THIS BABY The Ukrainian Mom Who Gave Birth to Premature Twins As Russia Invaded “My mom and I left with one bag. We didn'

Kendall Jenner Channeled Princess Diana's Iconic Off-Duty Look

Thursday, January 9, 2025

Plus, Anne Hathaway freed the nip, Lisa Kudrow talks Matthew Perry, your daily horoscope, and more. Jan. 9, 2025 Bustle Daily I quit Instagram but I still think about my parasocial relationships. LIFE

The quest to find an actually attractive air fryer

Thursday, January 9, 2025

Every pizza lover needs this reusable pizza box ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

Announcing Our New Chancellors

Thursday, January 9, 2025

January 9, 2025 announcing new chancellors We are honored to announce the election of Ada Limón and Eleanor Wilner to our fifteen-member Board of Chancellors, an honorary group of esteemed poets who

A Story About a Front Door

Thursday, January 9, 2025

And Life. ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏

Halloween

Thursday, January 9, 2025

Forwarded this email? Subscribe here for more Halloween Edith Zimmerman Jan 9 READ IN APP Archive | Etsy | About me Like Comment Restack © 2025 Edith Zimmerman New York State Unsubscribe Get the app

The Overworld

Thursday, January 9, 2025

Videogames aren't escapism as much as an analogy for living ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏