What If You Stopped Trying? (A short story)

By Jordan Brown - Mental Health Newsletter Writer, Poet, Social Worker, and Advocate • Issue #244 • View online

What if you stopped trying so hard?

What would happen?

Would the world fall apart?

Today, I’m giving you permission to try something new.

A new approach.

Because mental health isn’t a 24-hour rat race.

And it’s not a gym workout free-for-all.

It’s a give and take.

Keep reading to see what I mean–and to learn from my mistakes.

My OCD Made Me Try Too Hard

I deal with OCD, and it has derailed my life at times.

When I was a kid, I would read 5-6 books at once.

This was especially common on long vacation car rides with my family.

I’d have books like The Boxcar Children and Goosebumps spread out next to me on my seat.

I’d read one chapter in book, and then I would turn to the next book and read another chapter.

I kept the books face down, creased open to where I left off at the start of each new chapter.

I wanted to read everything.

I couldn’t just get through one story and enjoy it for what it was.

Old Me read all these books at once.

Learning to Stop Trying

This worked for a while. When I was a kid, and I didn’t have any other commitments, I could approach my life this way.

But, believe it or not, I continued the same approach when I became an adult, an obsessive approach.

I tried to read everything all at once. Now, I didn’t necessarily go from one chapter in one book to one chapter in another in such a methodical way.

But I read because I needed to do it all. I wasn’t focused on the nature of what I was doing. I was obsessed with the process.

I was trying too hard.

What do you think happened?

I’ll let you in on a secret. I retained nothing from the books I was reading, and I made myself extremely anxious in the process.

I needed a different way.

How to Stop Trying So Hard

This was a hard concept for me to understand. Honestly, it took years to get to this point. But I write about it so that it, hopefully, doesn’t take you as long.

Jordan

I learned to stop trying. Let me explain.

When I read these days, I don’t worry so much about the process, about getting through as many books as possible.

I read to enjoy, to integrate new lessons into my life.

If I feel a book can help a certain situation I’m in, I pick it up and dive in.

For instance, I’m taking on more management responsibility at work. I’ve never managed so many people before, and it’s a bit overwhelming.

So I’m reading–and re-reading–several chapters from The Effective Executive.

I’m comparing it what I’ve read previously in High Output Management.

Old Me would have been horrified to re-read books. That’s a waste of time, for crying out loud!

But New Me knows something.

It’s not about trying to do it all. It’s not about trying so hard that you lose the meaning of what you’re doing in the first place.

It’s about enjoying the process.

For some people, that comes naturally.

For me, it didn’t.

Easing off the gas is not something that my brain is naturally designed to do.

It took practice–practice at not trying so hard.

In the western world, it’s deemed almost a fatal flaw to not try as hard as you can.

But in other cultures I’ve been around, there’s an art behind easing off the gas pedal.

These days, I’m reading less overall, but I’m retaining more.

A lot more.

Now I read to enjoy, to learn, to be happy.

This was a hard concept for me to understand. Honestly, it took years to get to this point. But I write about it so that it, hopefully, doesn’t take you as long.

Jordan

P.S. Do you like when I include references to books / products that I use? I asked on Twitter a while back if people would be interested in a newsletter that focuses on products / activities / anything that I have vetted and enjoy–mental health related of course. The vast majority said they would if they were suggestions based on my own experience.

Would you read that?

Reply 1 for YES, 2 for NO WAY, JOSE.

Did you enjoy this issue?

Become a member for $10 per month

Don’t miss out on the other issues by Jordan Brown - Mental Health Newsletter Writer, Poet, Social Worker, and Advocate

Become a member

By Jordan Brown - Mental Health Newsletter Writer, Poet, Social Worker, and Advocate

The Mental Health Update is an inspirational mental health newsletter featuring authentic mental health articles that make mental health issues like depression, anxiety, OCD meaningful AND accessible.

This is different from typical mental health newsletters.

It's not just an Anxiety Email Newsletter or a Depression Email Newsletter - It's timeless mental health wisdom and inspiration to start your day in a thoughtful, uplifting way.

I was tired of other mental health newsletters blasting out generic lists of links. And I was especially tired of other mental health newsletters not focusing on the everyday reality of mental health issues.

So I decided to come up with a mental health newsletter I wanted to read.

This health newsletter is like a caring friend that just wants you to feel better.

Mental health awareness articles don't need to be all doom and gloom and filled with jargon.

With The Mental Health Update email newsletter, you'll get practical mental health information, tips, and new ways to view the world.

We discuss topics like anxiety, depression, OCD, the mental health to mental illness spectrum, social and communication skills, and much, much more.

This is what a few subscribers had to say about The Mental Health Update:

"If you haven't yet subscribed to Jordan's mental health newsletter, you absolutely should. It's chock full of good stuff to read and will help make your day better. Not unlike a daily vitamin for your mental health and soul..." - JR

"Encouragement from someone who has “been there” when it comes to mental health struggles. Comes in the form of stories and simple, actionable tips for reframing and working with - and through - your issues. One of the few newsletters that has survived my ruthless inbox decluttering sprees. Highly recommended!" - Kelila

"Jordan's mental health update is a welcomed email in my inbox. It often provides me with a chance to break from the mundane tasks of working in an office and take a moment for myself to hear his thoughtful and well put together thoughts on many aspects of mental health. As someone who works in the psychology field it's often a nice reminder and way of grounding myself to all the great work that's going on and the journey we all must take in supporting mental health. Thank you Jordan!" - Rob

I take my no-spam policy very seriously. I consider it a mental health obligation to not abuse your trust.

Tweet

What If You Stopped Trying? (A short story)

The Mental Health Update is an inspirational mental health newsletter featuring authentic mental health articles that make mental health issues like depression, anxiety, OCD meaningful AND accessible.

Mental health awareness articles don't need to be all doom and gloom and filled with jargon.

This is what a few subscribers had to say about The Mental Health Update:

Older messages

3 Big Reasons You Can't Focus

Try to do it all? Please read this.

What to Do About Loneliness

Friend Avoids Conflict? Do This.

When to Overshare (My Recent Example)

You Might Also Like

Happy Holidays!

The Best Thing: December 24, 2024

Kim Kardashian's Holiday Blowout Looks Like Pamela Anderson's '90s Hair

Get a 'CLUE' Report If Your Insurance Rates Seem Too High

An Egg And A Shell

Freshly brewed microplastics

"sueño convulso (seizure dream)" by Urayoán Noel

Review: “The Invisible Doctrine”

I’m Ditching My Jeans & Trying These Cooler Pants In 2025

The Year Bisexuality Stopped Being a Punchline