The Opening Tip

• Can we please get Blake Griffin out of Detroit?      
• We have a James Harden update 
• A look at each team’s over/under entering opening night on Tuesday

1. Blake Griffin is done with the bullshit

Former future Hall of Famer Blake Griffin has reached the part in Office Space when Ron Livingston’s character decides to go all-in on overtly not caring about anything.

Allow us to explain by breaking down the hilarious shit he pulled last night on Washington’s Thomas Bryant, in two screenshots and a GIF.

Part one, the completely unwarranted tossing of Thomas Bryant (this is the moment right before Bryant went flying to the ground):

Part three, Blake Griffin’s hearty chuckle in response to Thomas Bryant’s charge:

(You can watch the entire exchange between Griffin and Bryant here.)

A reminder for Thomas Bryant: Blake Griffin got traded to Detroit months after the Clippers held a mock jersey retirement ceremony for him. He pivoted his career from basketball to comedy years ago. He lost millions after punching his trainer in the face. You cannot phase this man, and you certainly cannot get him to bite on a fake fight in the third quarter of a preseason basketball game in his 11th season in the league.

FYI: For those wondering if Griffin will ever play another meaningful minute of basketball, he can opt out of his super max contract after this season, at which point he’ll be 32 but only two years removed from an All-Star and All-NBA season. If he wants to keep playing, and can still manage to find fulfillment in trolling people like Thomas Bryant, a late-career role position for a good team would be fun to watch.

2. Daily GIF: “Who needs James Harden?”

Christian Wood, who signed with Houston this offseason, went coast-to-coast with a strong finish last night, prompting the Rockets’ announcer to excitedly ponder the self-evident question, “Who needs James Harden?”

Two things: 

1. Harden might be kind of a dick, but every team theoretically needs him.
2. Woj reported last night that the 76ers, now run by former Houston GM Daryl Morey, would be willing to include Ben Simmons in a trade package for Harden. Morey quickly came out and denied that report. (Remember when he told Chris Paul he wouldn’t trade him, then traded him days later?)

[READ: James Harden and the Houston Rockets are at a breaking point]

3. Trivia time

With Giannis winning the last two MVPs, four foreign-born players have now won the award.

How many can you name?

Hint: All have come since the 1990s. 

4. Every team’s 2020-21 win total over/under

(All numbers via VegasInsider. Remember, this season is only 72 games long.)

In the East:

• Milwaukee Bucks, 49.5
• Boston Celtics, 45.5
• Brooklyn Nets, 45.5
• Philadelphia 76ers, 45.5
• Miami Heat, 44.5
• Toronto Raptors, 41.5
• Indiana Pacers, 39.5
• Atlanta Hawks, 36.5
• Washington Wizards, 32.5
• Orlando Magic, 31.5
• Chicago Bulls, 30.5
• Charlotte Hornets, 25.5
• Detroit Pistons, 23.5
• New York Knicks, 22.5
• Cleveland Cavaliers, 22.5

In the West:

• Los Angeles Lakers, 46.5
• Los Angeles Clippers, 45.5
• Denver Nuggets, 44.5
• Dallas Mavericks, 42.5
• Utah Jazz, 42.5
• Portland Trail Blazers, 41.5
• Phoenix Suns, 38.5
• Golden State Warriors, 36.5
• New Orleans Pelicans, 36.5
• Houston Rockets, 34.5
• Memphis Grizzlies, 30.5
• San Antonio Spurs, 29.5
• Sacramento Kings, 27.5
• Minnesota Timberwolves, 28.5
• Oklahoma City Thunder, 22.5

Our one guarantee:* Russell Westbrook has meant an automatic playoff berth for his team every season, all while playing in the West. In the easier conference, he and Bradley Beal will be able to win more than 32.5 games.

*Our guarantees are not guaranteed to be guaranteed.

5. 12/18/2008: Brandon Roy drops 52 points on the Suns

On this day 12 years ago, Brandon Roy dropped 52 points on Steve Nash’s Phoenix Suns, leading Portland to a 124-119 win.

His final line: 

• 14-of-27, 5-of-7 from 3, 44 minutes, zero turnovers. 

Watch the highlights here.

Side note: Roy, who played only 326 regular season games in the NBA, is more myth than reality at this point, something that’s actually helped his longterm stature.

I.E.: The old Simmons-ism has happened: He’s been called underrated for so long that he’s become overrated. Still, Roy goes on the too-long list of devastating things that have happened to the Trail Blazers, along with Bill Walton’s injuries, Sam Bowie over MJ in 1984, and Greg Oden over Kevin Durant in 2007. 

6.  Quick hits

• The NBA is launching an investigation into the Clippers’ recruitment of Kawhi Leonard.
• Speaking of Kawhi, he went on Jimmy Kimmel the other night and almost looked human.
• We’re sad we got the universe where Boban rimmed out a game winning 3 in a preseason game. 
• Steph Curry is back to making his ridiculous warm up routine look easy.

7.  Off the press

• Would trading Harden be that bad? A history of NBA star trades [The Ringer]
• Zach Lowe’s five most intriguing players for the 2020-21 season [ESPN]
• The NBA hopes for ‘as close to a normal season as possible’ [The New York Times]