The Witch Reads Me My Birthchart

she says the planets & stars show that I’m too good at being alone
I have unresolved traumas from past lives it is true
there were difficulties during my delivery even in the womb
I had a bad feeling cord around my throat as I tried
to make passage forced into this world or rather out of another
by extraction the witch asks if I often feel guilty
asks if I try to heal those around me despite finding it difficult
to bond with anyone other than myself
she wants to know about my childhood memories
if I’m alone in them
& I admit I stop listening though I can still hear
the untroubled tone in her voice vowels elongated
mouth full of sounds like spandex bursting at the seams
I want to go back to the stars we’ve strayed so far from the planets
she says there’s much to learn about my sources of pain
the gaping wound I will try to alleviate for the rest of my life
I want to touch her long hair as if it were my hair
I want to convince her I believe in everything she believes
but I demand too much of faith
like apples in the market I inspect the curves & creases
put them back at the slightest sign of bruising

Copyright © 2021 by Eloisa Amezcua. Originally published in Poem-a-Day on January 19, 2021, by the Academy of American Poets.

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“I don’t know what to believe in, but I want to believe in something as fully as my friends believe in the stars, in nature, in each other. This poem is for Elissa. And for Ruth, Elizabeth, and Kirsten.”
—Eloisa Amezcua