NBA Top Shot (?) — All-Star roster — Pete Weber x MJ

Friday, Feb 26th, 2021

  The Opening Tip

  • We have definitive proof that NBA players are hard-wired to only shoot 3s.
  • The NBA’s All-Star Game roster is set. 
  • We remember Pete Weber, the MJ of bowling.     

This weekend's best matchups

1. OK we’ll bite: What’s NBA Top Shot?

Here’s a FAQ on NBA Top Shot, which we knew nothing about either, until the ferocious Google session that fueled this segment.

What is it?

OK, here we go -- NBA Top Shot is an economy of online basketball fans who buy and sell short highlights of NBA players. The highlights are referred to as “moments,” and exist as digital files, not actual things. Someone just paid $208,000 for a “moment” of LeBron dunking on Nemanja Bjelica.

OK, but … um, what?

That’s the best we can do.

Can everyone still see the highlights that said person would be owning?

Yes. Here is the exact highlight of LeBron that someone just paid $208,000 for. And you can watch it for $208,000 less than the NBA Top Shot customer who purchased it.

This has ‘Silicon Valley’ written all over it. Can you throw out some buzz words and phrases?

Yup! Here are a few associated with Top Shot: Blockchain. Digital ownership. Non-fungible tokens. Faux intellectuals who jump on the latest tech fad. (We made the last one up.)

Apparently, “moments” are non-fungible tokens, which are “unique, easily verifiable digital assets that can represent items such as GIFs, images, videos, music albums, and more. Anything that exists online can be purchased as an NFT, theoretically,” according to The Morning Brew.

(Anyone wanna purchase The Grip? We’re a trendy new NFT!)

So, they are a little like online training cards?

That sounds basically right. NFTs, or moments, are stored in a “digital wallet,” according to ESPN. You can thus take them from your (digital) wallet and trade with another Internetsman or Internetswoman for a different NFT, or moment. It’s somewhat akin to when we all used to buy songs on iTunes for 99 cents, though online music wasn’t quite as widespread then as NBA highlights are now.

Is this all a bad faith scam created by tech bros to inflate an intangible marketplace for profit?

Are you suggesting tech bros are capable of such nefarious behavior?

Our consensus...

Sorry NBA Top Shot, but we have to go now, because we’re due back on the planet earth.

[READ: It’s important to actually own a thing]

2. Daily GIF: The 3-point revolution is a plague upon this league

This play happened last night at the end of the Wizards-Nuggets game. Down two points off a missed layup, the Nuggets had a four-on-one fastbreak and an easy chance to tie the game.

All Michael Porter Jr. (bottom right) had to do was run directly toward the basket, receive a pass from Jamal Murray (top left), and lay it in to force overtime.

Instead, Porter Jr., who is less a basketball player and more a 3-point shooting robot, instinctually ran to his bunker in the corner while Denver disjointedly forced a 3-point attempt that cost them the game.

3. Trivia time

How many 50-win seasons have the Nets had since joining the NBA in 1976? 

Answer at the bottom.

4. Here’s the final All-Star roster for both conferences, plus a minor airing of grievances

The reserves for the All-Star Game were announced earlier this week, which means the 24-player All-Star Game roster is set.

The East’s roster: 

  • Kyrie Irving
  • Bradley Beal
  • Kevin Durant
  • Giannis 
  • Joel Embiid
  • James Harden
  • Ben Simmons
  • Jayson Tatum
  • Jaylen Brown 
  • Julius Randle 
  • Zach LaVine
  • Nikola Vucevic 

The West’s: 

  • Luka Doncic
  • Steph Curry
  • LeBron James
  • Kawhi Leonard
  • Nikola Jokic
  • Damian Lillard
  • Donovan Mitchell
  • Devin Booker
  • Chris Paul
  • Zion
  • Paul George
  • Rudy Gobert 

Four notes:  

  1. Brooklyn has three All-Stars for the first time in franchise history. 
  2. #NBATwitter, including LeBron, threw a tantrum when Devin Booker wasn’t initially named as an All-Star reserve in the West, knowing full well that Anthony Davis wouldn’t be playing in the game and would thus need a replacement. Booker, who has still never played in a playoff game, was “snubbed” on Tuesday night. He was named as Davis’ replacement Wednesday morning. 
  3. It’s official: Mike Conley will never make an All-Star team.
  4. Chris Paul has now made the All-Star Game with four different teams, including with OKC as a 34-year-old and with Phoenix as a 35-year old. 

5. 02/26/2012: Pete Weber wins the U.S. Open

On this day nine years ago, Pete Weber nailed a strike to clinch his fifth U.S. Open title, surpassing his late father, Dick, for most in PBA history.

He celebrated accordingly, by reeling off the iconic victory reaction for our time.

Here’s a transcript:
 

“YES, GODDAMMNIT, YES!" *crotch chop* "THAT IS RIGHT, I DID IT! NO. 5! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THAT’S RIGHT! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, I AM! GET IT RIGHT!”

(Watch in full here.)


While the PBA and NBA don’t have much in common, Weber was downright Jordan-esque down the stretch of the ‘12 Open. Watch the buildup here, where he used an alleged trash-talking fan as a perceived slight to hype himself up. Did the heckler actually exist? Does it matter?

6.  Quick hits

  • Marv Albert: “(Eric) Bledsoe (is) one of the best 3-point shooters in the history of the NBA.”  
  • The Nets dismantled the Magic last night for their eighth win in a row, all without Kevin Durant. Every team that didn’t trade for James Harden right now is probably doing some second-guessing. 
  • Things are not going well for the Sacramento Kings. 
  • Zion Williamson is currently averaging 25.6 PPG on 16 shots. 
  • ICYM this theatrical game-winner by Lugentz Dort, click here.

7.  Off the press

  • It’s time for the Knicks to unleash Immanuel Quickley [The Ringer]
  • What we learned in the G League bubble [ESPN]

Trivia answer: One (2001-02)


That's the buzzer.
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