If any year brought us stress, it’s the one that’s just gone by, right? As freelancers, there are so many things that can make us stressed that when I started thinking of a list it felt never ending!

There’s money – and having to generate our own income – and dealing with all the things that come with that (invoices, taxes, chasing late payments). The stress of finding new clients, working with them, worrying that we’re doing it right, and the stresses that come with being the ‘everything’ for our business, from the marketing to the IT to the HR to being the bookkeeper and planning social media…

You might have noticed this newsletter is a little later than it might normally land in your inbox. Well, getting it done was stressing me out!

And I’ve been putting off sending it because it didn’t seem quite right. Who was – am – I to give advice on dealing with stress? You see, if I’m honest, I’m not amazing at dealing with it. I’m reactionary. I cry, I even scream, I get angry and I get panicked. I have anxiety when I am stressed, to the point where I can even break down in tears.

I can get so angry my jaw clenches, my blood feels like it’s starting to boil, I have conversations to the air around me, imagining what I’d like to say to the person or situation that’s stressed me out.

I get stressed with clients (not to their face!), and I get stressed with myself, then, when I’m stressed, I judge myself for not being able to cope or stay calm. I’m sharing this because I want to be honest – I can’t say ‘I cope with stress all the time, and you can too’. So, this month’s newsletter is a mixture of some things that work for me and other resources where there is professional help and advice which can help you further.

The theme for this year’s awareness month is ‘Regaining Connectivity, Certainty and Control’. I really love that. To me, it’s saying ‘ok, fine, we know we are stressed, but let’s try and move forward from it, not to overcome or beat it, but regaining. It’s pressing reset, in a way. That’s what often happens to me, when the stress fades, there’s a reset. Whether it’s the stress of something immediate (an email in your inbox that’s someone else’s ‘urgent’) or money, workload (or lack of it) or pressure on yourself to be the best. When the calm comes, I sometimes learn a lesson about how I could have done things differently in that situation.

Here’s what has worked for me:

Outsourcing

Yes, I know this is an ‘if you can afford it’ one. But it could be that with some maths, you realise that you can afford it, and perhaps it could actually help you generate more income long-term. One thing I outsourced earlier this year was a revamp of my website and I don’t regret it at all! First up, the time you’d spend on something to ‘save’ the money that outsourcing it would cost is then taken away from your earning time. Secondly, outsourcing is like a magic wand that erases the stress of the task from your mind.

Exercise

Obvious, right? Well, I think we all forget to do it, and most importantly we forget to do the exercise we actually like. But I imagine that when you do, you feel less stressed. So, this one’s twofold – doing exercise, but exercise you like to do. Personally, I’m counting the days until the local Lido reopens. I used to run a lot but actually found it quite stressful (sports bras have a lot to answer for). Maybe team sports are your go-to, or long walks, or you’ll be first in the queue for the gym again.

Breathing

I was going to do a section on meditation, but I don’t meditate so didn’t feel it was the right thing to advise on. That said, it involves considered breathing, as does Yoga, so I’ve gone for breathing in general. Stop. Breathe. Slowly, deeply. Use an app to help calm your breathing if you’d like to. But take time to breathe, to let the air in and out of your lungs. I’d also recommend taking a breath (or ten) before replying to an annoying email, to answering a call that says ‘unknown number’ or looking at social media (again).

Talking

No this isn’t just me shoe horning in coaching! It really helps me, and I think if you have blocks in your business that are holding you back or you feel are in the way, then coaching can help you remove them. On the same lines, if you need to, consider talking to a professional therapist about your stress. And if neither seem quite right, you could try talking to a friend or freelance ‘colleague’. As part of the advice for this month, the Stress Management Society advises to share what has worked for you, so while I’ve done that, I urge you to do the same. If you do, and would like to tag me on social media, I’ll keep my eye out so I can re-post!

Singing and dancing

Ok, so we’ll have to wait a little longer to do this with a lot of people, but for now, stopping to put on some favourite tunes can be a real stress buster. For me, it’s always 80s music that does the trick. Here’s Wham!, just because.

Unfollowing

Oh god, you think, she’s said it again?! But then you still have ‘that’ account you follow which stresses you out, don’t you? I’ll say it once more IT’S OK TO UNFOLLOW. This is something that came up in a recent podcast episode with Fiona Thomas, and she has lots of other fab advice in her episode too and her book, Out of Office.

TV

I really like watching TV. And it definitely de-stresses me! Especially ‘guilty pleasure’ TV like 90 Day Fiancé or Say Yes to the Dress. Coronation Street, Line of Duty… I’m not a TV snob, in fact quite the opposite.

Dogs

If you follow me on Instagram (although I understand if you’ve unfollowed for some reason!) then you’ll most likely have seen Florence and Roger, our dogs. Roger is basically a giant hugging machine. And yes, while they do bring me stresses, they are also the most amazing stress relievers. Time wasters, too. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. If you don’t have or can’t get a pet, then try seeing if you can borrow one – a friend might let you pet sit once we can go indoors again, or perhaps you can meet a friend who has a dog for a walk.

And some professional Resources:

The Stress Management Society which runs Stress Awareness Month has a challenge for the month as well as lots of advice

thestressmanagementsociety

A post shared by @thestressmanagementsociety

Rethink Mental Illness has resources on Stress including PTSD

This booklet from Mind is useful, too

Identify signs of stress and order a special booklet from the Mental Health Foundation

Read, listen, subscribe:

READ: Anna Codrea-Rado’s new book ‘You’re the Business’ is a practical take on freelancing which will help tackle the stresses in many different ways. And she’s coming up as a guest on the Freelance Feels podcast soon, too.

LISTEN: Startup Magazine’s podcast, The Cereal Entrepreneur, will cover several aspects of self-employed life, including talking to technology startups themselves, to get their stories and journeys out there to the world, as well as talking to industry experts who can shed light and give advice in a number of areas that startups will go through.

Startups Magazine: The Cereal EntrepreneurBy Startups MagazinePodcast

SUBSCRIBE: This is also a ‘buy’ I guess! Freelancer Magazine is new, and is one to check out whether you’re new to freelancing or an ‘old hand’… I love that it’s in print format, not online.

If you enjoy the newsletter, or a particular part of it, feel free to screengrab and share on social, tagging me @freelance_feels or share the link and tag me. Forward on to those you think might like it, too.

Listen to the Freelance Feels podcast

Share Freelance Feels: The newsletter for humans who work for themselves

Find out more about coaching with me

See you in May!