'My Friend Wants Me to Pitch in $400 for a Baby Shower'

One of my good friends is having a baby. It’s her first child, and obviously, I’m thrilled for her. Another friend of ours said she would host a baby shower, so I volunteered to help. The mom-to-be is a pretty casual person, so I figured it would just be a potluck kind of thing. But now the shower host is getting a caterer and ordering flowers and spending a bunch of money. I understand that she wants to make the party special, and it’s at her home (well, in her backyard, because of COVID), so she’s doing the bulk of the planning. But she’s asking for the five co-hosts (including me) to pitch in $400 each, which seems extreme! Also, isn’t the whole point that we’re giving our mom-to-be friend gifts for her baby/impending motherhood? At this rate, I definitely won’t be able to afford to get her a present. 

So far, no one else has raised the issue of cost, so I’m nervous to bring it up. I also don’t want to seem ungenerous at this big moment in our friend’s life. And I can’t drop out as a co-host because then the costs will get even higher for everyone else (plus, I genuinely want to be part of this). How do I approach this? 

Trying to contextualize the current violence in Israel and Gaza? Jonah Shepp at Intelligencer has a good, digestible breakdown of the conflict, which is only going to get worse. Watch the (sappy) teaser trailer for the Friends reunion. You ready to go back to pooping in public restrooms? Millennials are getting older and they are doing so without growing up. Get up and get moving: exercise can promote a sense of purpose in life. And take some inspiration from Alison Bechdel’s bookshelf.

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