The Cut - 'I'm Ashamed of Who I Used to Be'

I’m haunted by past versions of myself. Like many of us, the last few years of my life have been littered with unwise decisions, ill-conceived words, and embarrassing moments. I can’t stop thinking about them, especially when trying to sleep. People say you should be compassionate toward the person you used to be, but all I feel is profound revulsion and shame. Sometimes I wish I could erase everyone’s memories of me from before the past 17 seconds.

I try to live my life in a way my future self won’t feel ashamed of, but how can I be cognizant of the mistakes I’m already making? Papi, how can I make peace with these former versions of me and stop hating them so much?

Love,
Plagued by My Past

In a phase-two clinical trial, researchers demonstrated that symptoms of depression improve rapidly following treatment with inhaled laughing gas. Nice to see the age gap swing the other way for a change? Darnella Frazier, the teen who filmed George Floyd’s murder, was awared an honorary Pulitzer. The joy of a younger friend in old age. Speaking of Younger, we’re gonna skip watching the last season and just read this instead. And seriously, what accent is Nicole Kidman doing in this trailer for her new series?

It happened this week — let’s talk about it. Sign up for My Week in New York: a new newsletter from the editors.