On painting

I have a hard time doing hobbies just for me, just for fun, without the expectation of improving or showing anyone or doing anything with it. It’s something I’m trying to work on. At the beginning of the year, I decided I wanted to get into watercolor painting—I bought supplies, I was looking for online courses to take and YouTube tutorials to learn from, and I had ambitions to make little paintings I could mail to my friends across the country and hang up in my apartment. I didn’t end up taking any courses, and I have yet to paint anything for a friend, but I do still get out my watercolor set every once in a while and paint something simple, no direction or goals in mind. Sometimes it turns out well and I hang the painting up above my desk. Sometimes I’m less happy with the outcome and I stash it away somewhere and forget about it. Either way, the time I spend painting makes me feel good. Part of me still wants to learn and improve, but part of me is content with being sort of mediocre and enjoying myself anyway. I think—hear me out—it’s good to not always be good at stuff. It’s enough to just do it.

– Jillian

During Pandemic Part I (pre-vaccine era), my friend Ben started posting these really gorgeous watercolors she was making. Like Jill, she was following YouTube tutorials to churn out just, the loveliest paintings I had seen someone who was just painting casually do. I asked her for advice on materials and she sent me a palette and brushes and paper in the mail! I started sitting outside and painting in the sun, encouraging myself to get 40 minutes of Vitamin D a day while doing an activity that didn’t involve screens. I had my DeviantArt phase in middle school and was really into drawing and digital art but never really had the patience to let myself improve; it’s been so nice to just enjoy painting, with no expectation for myself on how it needs to turn out, only showing what I do to my friends. I like to paint Pokemon and food and keep everything in a little box.

– Summer

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– Jillian